interesting....

     I spent most of last night on the phone with an old friend from high school.  A guy that I liked at one point and time back when dirt was new.  Turns out that he had a crush on me way back then too.  Now, don't get all excited folks.  He lives on the east coast.  I live in TX.  His job is there.  My kids are here.  Besides that, our lives have been about as different as it gets.  He's never been married.  Doesn't have any kids.  He's worked the same job for 20 years.  I've spent the last 26 raising kids.  He likes golf of all the stupid sports and I'd rather watch grass grow which is about as exciting.  I am a baseball fanatic and he doesn't even have a favorite team.  And he likes the Steelers for football.  We are definitely nothing alike any more.  What do we have in common?  We were raised in the same town.  We both grew up and still like MASH.  We like movies, having someone to hang out with and wish we had someone to lie in bed and watch movies with while we eat oreos.  And we both wish that the other lived closer because we'd like to hang out and see what's up.  Of course, my boys would probably hang him up by his toenails or set him on fire to see if he's "good enough" for mom.  Oh well, as with anything else in life, all you can do is take what you have and make the best of it.  No use worrying about what you can't change.  Change what you can - make the best of what you can't.  Learn to be happy with what you have.  


     So I was chatting with a friend this morning on yahoo when I got an email on my yahoo email.  It was from Kristi's old email address.  I wondered what kind of evil she was trying to spawn and almost didn't bother going to look.  When I first glanced at the email and saw that she sent it to both me and SD, I knew that it wouldn't be anything but the ramblings of a crazy person or some other type of stupidity insanity.  I was right.  It was nothing more than a link to some sex site that she must frequent.  She must have been on drugs this morning and thought that it would be a good joke or some other stupidity.  I'm fairly sure that the email address she used for SD hasn't been operational in several years.  She's not got a lot of brains sense.  From the looks of what she sent, it seems fairly obvious that she's back on drugs.  I do have to say that the waste of life saddens me.  As humans, we're given so much to work with and so many choices, that its sad to see anyone waste their life or the chances that they have with the people in it.  


     That's why I fight so hard for kids who are alienated from parents whether its a parent or a step-parent doing the alienation.  That's why I speak up when I see a step-parent or parent making choices to come between a kid and someone that could love them.  I've seen parents who think that it's wrong to let a steppie love "their" child - like that child is a toy that they can control/own.  I've seen steps who want to broadcast how "hard" they're trying and how much they care across the net all while the kids they're supposedly "trying" with beg them to stop.  I've seen a very popular blog where the man claims to be an "expert" in these areas yet he broadcasts his personal life on a blog that his kids read while slamming their mom.  See- that is alienation folks.  How do you think kids feel when they read the hatred against a parent online and know that anyone in the world can read your venom?  That's why I have 2 blogs.  Anything I feel the need to get out that might hurt my kids - I put it on the private blog where very few people have a password.  And I'd move the whole thing if any of my boys or their girlfriends ever got curious enough to want to read on a daily basis.  Or if my kids ever chose to read and something on here offended them or hurt them - I'd get rid of it quick!  Because my kids are the most important thing in my life.  They've been hurt enough by their SD and his numerous women all who didn't want to give up income or time with SD to share it with my kids.  My kids have been alienated from their dad by these women and I've had to try to explain to my kids why they weren't good enough.  Why daddy loved Dawns kids or Monica's kids more than he loved them.  Why daddy could buy Christmas for their kids and not send my kids a card.  How come Dawns kids were in the wedding and my kids weren't invited?  I think it's easier on a kid to have a parent die than to have to suffer thru parental or step-parent alienation. Here's my favorite hypocrisy (and I've read/come across 3 or 4 blogs like this) - a mom/dad/steppie writing a blog and accusing the other parent or step-parent of alienation all while doing things that are constantly and consistently alienating the kids them self.  Mostly you'll find this in cases where the kids read the blog and the blog is dedicated to giving voice to one side or the others viewpoint and it's being hung all out there for the kids to read.  This is called "involving the children" and when you're slamming the other parent/step-parent/parent's partner while knowing that the child is reading - you are alienating that child.  Of course I've seen this backfire spectacularly on some folks who thought they could get the child to see "the truth" or "their side" and all it does is turn the child further from them.  Once again, these people have my utmost sympathy and pity.  Instead of realizing that love is never-ending and that there should be plenty of room in theirs and the kids hearts to go around - they're looking at the kids as possessions with no working brain cells to be able to see things and form opinions on their own.  Too many people want to tell their kids how to think and feel.  Can't do that.  You can teach them right from wrong.  You can teach them how to cook, clean and do laundry.  But eventually your kids are going to turn into teenagers.  They're going to form opinions of their own, they're going to mature enough to see what you're doing and then - God be with you because you're going to have an issue on your hand that you created.  And you're going to have some serious damage on your hands.  Have fun trying to explain your way out of the mess you created.  Of course there are those out there who will try to blame their mess on x, y, or z but I've said it repeatedly - y'all don't give enough credit to your kids for knowing what's going on and for seeing what you think you're slick enough to hide.  


    Well, I have a nice quiet house.  I'm going to lie in bed, play on B's laptop and watch NCIS reruns.  I imagine Little Man will be back by here shortly since he left his phone lying on the couch.  He's been extremely respectful today.  Wonder if I made my point?  Well, I guess I did for today at least.  Tomorrow is another day and I imagine another story.  Hope y'all have a great weekend!