Time to relax!

Well, we're home. Somehow - Little Man managed to not have a job by the time we got back. Can't imagine how he managed that one. He's not being forthcoming with the information. I am fairly frustrated with all of them right now.

Here's what I know at this minute. It's almost midnight. I got to bed after 2 AM last night because the kids were all up and enjoying each others company. The baby got up around 6 this morning. That gives me a grand total of around 4 hours of sleep. I got up. Made breakfast for everyone. I ran Ruth up to the store to pick up something she needed for work while Ice Cube was at a job interview. I loaded most of the car up while Tara and B were still sleeping. I got to grab a 5 min shower and then finish doing the laundry, packing, and loading the car. Did the dishes, got the baby ready, packed the bag, and got out the door all before 11 AM. Drove 40 minutes to the ceremony. (pictures to follow if I ever get the chance to use any of our allowable download allowance ... in other words, if the kids ever leave me more than a few minutes of net time a day) After the ceremony, I ran over to where the reception was held, helped set up. Fed the baby, listened to B complain about being bored for an hour, helped clean up. Drove over to Vix and Cals. Waited on her for 30 minutes. By this time, I felt like I had sandbags in my eyes and was fighting a migraine. Drove 4 hours home. Went to the store and got food so that we had unimportant things like milk, bread and cereal. Got home after 9 PM tonight. In between getting off the exit of the highway and going to the store, I stopped at the sale barn and dropped B off and dropped off food for Little Man. Got home and unloaded the car. Started a load of laundry. To start my load, I had to move LM's clothes from the washer to the dryer.

Finally got to sit down and start watching American Idol from Tuesday night. Tara was on her computer I thought doing school work. Then she said something and it dawned on me that she was uploading new flashy things to her myspace. About the time I said something to her about watching the download and that uploading all those pretties would kill off the net, LM came out of his room and started yelling at me about the net running slow. He thinks I should stay off the net so that he has myspace time. Can I tell anyone and everyone how much I absolutely hate that social site!?! So of course, by the time all was said and done, I got to listen to Tara, LM, and B all being rude and nasty to me. They all hate it here. A couple of them hate me. And at midnight ... I am now too wound up to even think about sleep. But hey, I hear its over-rated anyhow. I've only been up for 18 hours. What do they know or care. Not a one of them ever sees anything other than the back of their eyelids until after noon if they have their choice.

I haven't managed to get more than 4 hours of sleep a night this week. Now, I admit... I am old. I don't need much sleep. I definitely don't need the 20 hours a day that the kids need. But at least once a week it's nice to see a few more hours that 4 at least. And as good of a time as I had and as much as I enjoyed it. I am so glad to be here and able to be a vegetable if that's what I want to do.

On a nice whiny note- it would be nice if just once in my lifetime, I was able to finish a sentence during a conversation with one or any of my kids. I wish I knew as much as they think they do. It would also be nice although the shock might kill me - if any or all of them might actually show even a minute bit of consideration for me, my well being, my health or my feelings. Just once before I die it would be nice. The problem with that is if they ever did show even the smallest bit of care or concern for me- the shock would probably kill me. In case you can't tell right now, I am seriously put out with my kids right now.

Well, I'm a gonna sit here and watch more shows off the DVR. With any luck, the knots in my tummy with loosen enough at some point and time tonight for me to maybe, possibly get some sleep. My alarm is set for 8 though so if it doesn't happen fairly soon.... I'll call it quits- start cleaning something and try again tomorrow. Hope everyone else is having a better life night than I am.

You might not want to read this....

I tend to not post when I've had a bad day or a bad week or.... well, you get the drift. I guess I withdraw and just try to muddle thru. For years, people have asked me how I do it. And I can generally laugh it off. I just take it one day at a time and try really hard to not stress the small stuff. And honestly, in the long run - most of it is small stuff. But, for some reason, I'm feeling really overwhelmed here lately. I wasn't. I was doing ok. Money problems? Eh - with 5 kids and living on social security with no child support - I'm used to them. Kid issues? They grow up and get a brain. House problems - a little bit of thought and work and I can usually fix it myself. So why all of a sudden does it all seem overwhelming?

It started Tues night. I was back in old town staying at someone who I've always considered my bestest friend. I was on the phone and all of a sudden and with no warning, she went off like a banshee in heat. She was screaming and cussing and making absolutely no sense. To this day, I have no idea what the devil set her off or why she acted like an escapee from the loony bin. I came within 2 seconds of walking out the door. My friend that I was on the phone with was in shock. She couldn't believe that anyone would act like that for no apparent reason. I was humiliated and embarrassed. My friend, that should have been embarrassed, isn't. I don't know that she even registered that someone else that she doesn't even know heard her rant. We're supposed to go back there next week and meet Ice Cube, Ruth and Little Bit. I am dreading it. Not just for that reason but for many others. I'm jealous that Ruth and Ice Cube live with Ruths family and her brother who hasn't seen his own kid in over 6 months even though he lives less than 30 min away - babysits my grand baby all the time. I'm upset that I have to ask for pictures when her family sees the baby every day. 2 things that shouldn't upset me and usually wouldn't. But right now make me not even want to see my son or Ruth. Maybe there's something wrong with me. It's really not like me to let any of this stuff bother me.

Friends rant- who knows what it was. She wasn't really mad at me. I was just available to rant at. We've been ranting to each other for 25 years. I know not to take it personally. But I sure am right now. Maybe it's the fact that Wayne Gilliland and All State Specialty Contracting still haven't shown up to do their job and I'm having to work to set up a law suit. I have totes piled in my house still six weeks after moving and 3 chainsaws, a weed eater, 2 shovels, an axe, a hatchet, and a rake that have taken up residence in my back hall blocking my laundry area because my shed is still not here. Yesterday alone, I had to install a water filter system, put a new handle on the shower in my bathroom, fix the boys toilet, move some wood outside, as well as painting Little Man's room (part of it at least), laundry, dishes, cooking and regular cleaning. Then when I was trying to talk to the same so-called friend trying to tell her what I had been up to, I was again rudely blown off. In the middle of a sentence - interrupted with a question and then when I tried to answer the question she herself asked- blown off. Rudely. Maybe another reason I'm thinking about staying some place else next time we go back. Of course, that would open another can of worms because she would never understand why we changed plans.

Then I had another person ask me to do something that they would never in a lifetime think to even begin to do themselves. It equated to asking me to kill a grizzly bear with a stick and a worn out rubber band. I know I'm good. I know that I have managed to accomplish a lot. But why would anyone ask someone to do something that they themselves would never think to start? This is a person that is so laid back that most folks would consider her lazy. The chances of her even thinking about doing half of what I've already accomplished at this land are ludicrous. It just would never happen. Ever.

Anyhow, I'm still here but hiding from the world. Sorry about the not so happy post. I'm seriously sick of looking at my house. I really want to get all I need to sue All State Specialty Contracting. That way maybe I can start getting it put back together. Have a good weekend all!