In other news, I'm thinking about making a trip back to old town next week. Ice Cube is missing me and I'm missing the baby. And his birthday is coming up. I need to go down and spend his birthday with him (or at least some time around his birthday since I have a Dr's appointment the day after his birthday here). My kids have gotten too old and too cool to allow too many hugs. But the wee one hasn't gotten too big or cool yet to not want grandma to hold him. I can't take a very long trip back this time because Little Man has to work. I'm not comfortable leaving him here for all together too long by himself. Hurricane wanted to know about his friend (Tanner) and why his friend couldn't keep him company. That would be because he's not here. His mom came and picked him up yesterday for a visit. I'll pick him up and bring him back this way when I leave old town. Tanner was texting me last night. He was already feeling lonely. He said it was too quiet there. His mom didn't want to meet me. I can almost understand that. Almost. If my kid was living some place, I'd want to know where he was staying and who he was with. But, I'm funny like that. She didn't even want to come to the house. She wanted us to drop him off some place in town and she'd just pick him up there after I was gone. She said that she was afraid that I would "jump her". If I weren't so offended, I might have laughed myself silly. That ranks up there with one of the stupidest things that I've ever heard. She actually has asked Tanner to move back home. There are some issues with her new man. Tanner told her that at this time, although he wants to be able to visit and have a relationship with her, he's not ready to move back home yet. I would think that nothing but good can come from a renewal of any type of relationship between Tanner and his mom. This doesn't stop me from being offended with her unfounded paranoia.
I had a good chat with my old kids New Years Eve. I got a chance to talk to the sister as well as both the boys. Sister was feeling guilty with what's going on with her mom. She said that she feels like she "owes" her mom because she's her mom. Now, I know that this is going to be controversial and that there will be people out there that don't agree with me. Doesn't matter. I told her that she didn't "owe" her mom. That she had the right to be upset with her mom. She told me that it was good to be able to talk to someone that had been there thru it. So many people that the kids know now, they weren't around then. They didn't see what happened. Even if they knew the family back then, they weren't in the inner circle I guess you'd say. Or they're people who are related to her mom. She and I talked a bit about her sister. We talked about some conversations that her sister and I had had before her sister passed. And she was able to talk to me about some things that had been bugging her about what happened with her mom. Did I slam her mom? Of course not! But there's no sugar coating the stuff that her mom did either. There's no glossing over the fact that they lost their sister, their uncle and their dad all within the last 4 years. Facts are that mom hasn't tried to contact them since she came back and took the truck. That she hasn't bothered to maintain or work on a relationship with the kids. And the fact is that this "you don't love me if you don't agree with me" attitude that their mom has is childish or just plain garbage. And the truth is - your kids don't owe you anything. Ok, you can argue that your kids owe you respect. In a lot of cases, that might be true. And kids should at least show respect. But her mom owed her so much more than that. At least when she was younger. Her mom owed her a life that wasn't tainted by drug usage. Her mom owed it to her to set a good example and do right by her kids. The kids are adults now. The youngest boy is 21. And whatever choices they make, the kids have to make from what they know is right and wrong. They are old enough to accept responsibility for their choices. I don't much care for people who blame their childhood for the poor choices they make as an adult. At some time, those people need to stop trying to lay blame and accept responsibility. None of that is either here or there though. I still had a great chat with all 3 kids.
Well, I need to get some things done before I even begin thinking about a trip back to visit the kids. And despite the fact that it's Saturday, my kids are hard at work in their books. Christmas break, weekends, holidays - they don't much matter when it comes to schooling around here. So, back to the grind. Hope y'all enjoyed your laugh. Enjoy your weekend!
2 comments:
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LOL I was back and forth a couple of times, as far as blog hosts. So I totally understand!
Hope you have a nice visit with your son.
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