Accomplished

I beat my poor kids up yesterday. We got a lot accomplished though. And I managed to not knock myself out with pain in doing it. Poor Tara hurt more than I did. Of course, she didn't get much exercise living with Tom. She spent a lot of time online and well... a lot of time online.

So we had another go round with Tom's stupid tail yesterday. He called shortly after Tara had crawled out of bed. She took one look at the number and handed me the phone. Tom doesn't bother me like he does Tara. I don't have any emotional connection with him. I feel pity for him because he has nothing. He has no life, no love, no respect for himself or others. No one has any respect for him. He's a loser and he's worked really hard to put himself where he's at. For once, he was being civil. He said he just wanted to let her know that he had taken her printer, flash drive, and some other things of hers over to his moms and she could get them. I thanked him and told him that I would try to see if his sister or her wife would meet up with me while I was in town next. Mind you this sentence because it was the only mention of his sister or his sisters wife. Remember- sisters wife, Tonia I met once. I've talked to once. She asked permission to walk over to my car. Yes - asked permission because she was being polite. This was the day that Tara signed the papers for the divorce. Anyhow, I said I'd see if sister or Ton would meet up with me to exchange Tara's stuff. So, Tom kept making some small digs here and there about Tara's "boyfriend". The one she doesn't have. Now, she does have a very good online friend that's male. They talk. They have absolutely no plans to meet in person at this time. He seems like a nice guy. He listens to her and she needs that. Anyhow, Tom has it in his head that Tara is going to have sex with this guy. Yes, he's 1200 miles from here and they have no plans to meet but they're going to have sex. *yes, please read that sentence with all sarcasm intended*

Anyhow, I ignored all little digs and we were having a somewhat civil conversation. Tom kept telling me that no matter what anyone believed, he loved Tara. I told him things like - I'm sure they're both good people separately, but that together - they were poison. He said that he disagreed. He thought that they were good together but just grew apart. He really can't get it thru his head that his violence and abuse drove her away. That he destroyed her trust. He has it stuck in his head that she emotionally cheated on him with Mark. Which is true. She did emotionally cheat on him with Mark. But what he doesn't get is that it took himself 2 years of cheating on her with a bottle of alcohol, beating the hell out of her, and running her down all while not being there for her emotionally to drive her away. Anyhow, he said that he wanted to talk to her about the travel trailer. The travel trailer that she bought with her check I might add. Just like she bought and paid for the truck he's driving and the motorcycle that sits at his house. Well, she had mentioned that she wanted the travel trailer. And up to this point, he had been civil. Whiny as usual. Unable to accept responsibility for what he did to cause all this as usual but civil. So, I convinced Tara to take the phone to "talk about the trailer". Oh and that was my mistake.

As soon as Tom got her on the phone - it was right back to all the same BS that he spews every time he gets around her. Pity poor him. He's Mr. Perfect (in his own eyes even if no one else buys it). He just wanted to cut her down some more. He started throwing Mark in her face. He didn't want to "give her" the travel trailer ... you know the one that she paid for... to have sex with her boyfriend. The boyfriend that lives 1200 miles away. She reminded him who bought the travel trailer. He tried to tell her that he had supported her for 3 years. How she managed to keep from laughing in his face- I'll never know. And this is not - 2nd hand info from Tara btw- he was so loud- I could hear him from more than 10 feet away. She pointed out that he never supported anyone. His family did. His mom, his dad, his sister, his sister's wife - they all paid bills. Tom- the only thing he contributed was stolen property from his thieving sprees. Jobs? He managed to lose faster than he got them. After several minutes of listening to him talk stupid- I told her she needed to just go to court and ask the judge for a judgement as at this point Tom was telling her that he'd sell the trailer that she paid for and wanted. He told her she couldn't because she had signed papers. I told her - show up in court, tell the judge that he brought people with him when she met with him and was up in her face intimidating her. Something that the guy from the gas station would vouch for as he commented on Tom screaming in her face that day. Tom started running his mouth some more and I told her to just hang up. That he had no intention of giving her what she paid for and it was all more of him trying to manipulate her. She told Tom "you know what- the papers are signed and I don't have to talk to you anymore" and she hung up on him.

About 30 minutes later, Tonia is IM'ing Tara wanting to know why Tara is going to "file charges against her for intimidation"? We're like WTH? Where did this come from? Tom - of course. He went back and told his sister that we referred to her as a "fat bitch"- something that was never said. He couldn't admit that he screwed up. Can't accept responsibility for the fact that he called Tara, he started trouble, he tried to threaten her. He has to run back to his family and lie about the situation and the conversation to try and get them to feel sorry for him and get them mad at her. All I can say about them is- if they bought his load of lies then they deserve everything they get. Because the time is coming when he's going to implicate one or all of them in something illegal he's done. We're fairly sure that he is the one that hijacked Tara's yahoo email. That's defined as identity theft by some new fed law. We're having it all investigated. If he did it from the IP address that goes to his mom's house, charges will end up being filed on the owner of the bill. Maybe then they'll catch on. Did Tonia believe Tara when she said that it never happened? No idea. If she didn't - her loss.

Results of it all. I loaned Tara the money yesterday to get her new phone. The old one- gone. Still has about 2 weeks on it but she'll only turn it on to call or check for messages from school. Her school check should be in in about a week. She'll pay me back then.

In other positive news... The boys dug the holes for the 2 peach trees yesterday. They're planted. The 2 pepper plants we had left to plant. They're in the pot too. The bathroom. The half of the bathroom that's taped off - first and second coat. The bedroom - 3 walls first coated. Tara learned to paint with a roller yesterday. She is learning so many things. Learning to be self sufficient. She has moved on. Tom is holding on. We, as a family, are moving on. Building and being productive. And we accomplished a lot yesterday. I'm proud of all of them!