parenting choices

     Things with Elmer are going fairly smoothly since mediation.  We had him for 18 days in Sept.  That may be a first.  She is working well with IC.  To help matters out, Ice Cube got a new job that doesn't pay tips.  His child support will come straight out of his check every week and go straight to her card.  In TX, you can get what is basically a debit card and have your support put right to it.  His child support is really reasonable and he has no reason why he can't keep it current or paid in advance.  He knows how it is to grow up in a household where there is no dad and no support.  I am so very proud of him for stepping up and not acting like his sperm donor.  He is a parent.  And I'm glad that she's letting him be a parent. I don't know what they'll do in a couple of years when he starts kindergarten but for now, all is well.  4 AM came really really early this morning when IC had to get up and start his new job.  I wait at home like an over-anxious mother hen worrying about how it's going, if he likes it, etc...  The boys got clearance from Vix and Cal to put a house in another spot on the property.  Not sure which one will be the first to get the money/financing together to take the spot that already has electrical and water run to it but it's in a race now.  ; ) Hurricane thinks that he'll be the first one to do it.  Personally, I'd like to see all of them settle down close.  That way they can stay as close as they are now and their kids will grow up with the sense of family that my kids lost in the divorce.  


    My kids don't know most of their cousins.  Well, they don't know any of the cousins from SD's mom's daughters.  One of SD's sisters on his mom's side has 4 kids.  The other has 3.  7 cousins that the kids only know even the names of maybe 2 or 3.  They haven't seen these kids in more years than they can remember and they're not really fond of the 2 from that side that they do know.  The younger of the 2 is 13 and has already been arrested multiple times.  Now, my kids aren't angels.  They're not perfect by any stretch of the imagination.  They're inventive and they've found their fair share of trouble.  But at 13, their only worries were girls, sports, and not being bored.  And avoiding boredom didn't mean committing various misdemeanors and felonies or running the streets till 4 AM.  


     But what's more important is that we have the chance to change that with this generation.  My grandchildren can grow up together.  They can be close and go to school together.  They can have the closeness with their cousins that my kids never got to have.  Wishful thinking?  Maybe.  But even old people are allowed to dream.  I've spent the last 13 years trying to break cycles.   Cycles of neglect and abandonment.  SD was abandoned and neglected by his so-called father, and he did his kids the same way.  Ice Cube is breaking that cycle and I have faith that the rest of the boys will follow that with their children too.  Unfortunately, Tara married a man who parents or rather doesn't parent like her daddy.  So, I failed there.  But I think the boys are making better choices.   Or I hope so at least.  


     Well, off here to clean and get things done.  Elmer comes back in a few weeks.  More time with our sweet boy.  On another pleasant note, I've been on the phone with my mom 3 times so far today planning her visit.  Or trying to.  Trying to coordinate between her schedule, plan tickets, Ruth's schedule and financial obligations. Y'all think good thoughts for me please.  This might be an interesting time trying to pull this off.  Hope everyone has a great day!