frustrated?

     Yesterday just flat out was horrid!  I spent many hours on the phone trying to knock bills down.   Finances are a bit messed up around here right now.  B's school ring payments are due.   There were several other things that came up unexpectedly that are making me wonder if I'm going to make it from one month to the next.  Nanny and I were talking the other night.  She's been being hit with the same issues that I have.  It's been one thing after another for so long that it's like being hit by a waterfall of ugly.  It never stops.  You think - next month will be better.  Next month I'll get caught up/get ahead a few dollars/owe less.  And then it's something else.  And we have graduation stuff coming right around the corner.  Somehow I have to get some money saved for graduation gown, pictures, all that fun stuff.  


    I tried to post last night.  After a day spent trying to decide what to do with the net and seriously considering going to dial up just to save money, the satellite company offered to work with me to get me to stay.  They made it financially workable for me to keep what we already had and not have to go some place else.  I will say that it is more expensive than dial up still.  Anything and everything is more expensive than dial up.  But my internet is my lifeline to the world out here in the boondocks.  Without it I couldn't keep up with anything.  It's my link to news, my friends, entertainment.  During those times that my joints go on strike it's the one thing that stops me from going batty (battier?).  Anywho - after all that time dealing with I lost track of how many different companies trying to find the best deal and calling people working to bring bills down and consolidate things- I finally sat down and got ready to post... And the net went down.  That was it for me.  I took my phone and went to bed.  However, I'm back and here and posts are up on both sites.  So if you've been following the personal drama - the update is done... Click HERE.  If you don't have the password- email me.  I make no promises.  :)


    The only company that absolutely refused to work with me at all was the cell phone company, Gotta love ATT.  No actually I don't have to love them.  I had considered using them for the home internet yesterday.  Had actually ordered the equipment needed to make the change.  And it would be $20 cheaper than what the satellite company actually ended up offering me.  I was all set to do it and then I talked to some one in their retention department.  By the time that call was said and done, I had changed my mind about giving them any additional business and I will be systematically killing off my lines with them as contracts expire.  I have one out now (Ice Cube's phone).  What was Kim's line goes out in Dec with both mine and Little Man's going out in February.  By February, I will only have B's phone left under contract and I may just pay the early termination fee and be done with them totally.  It's sad when it's cheaper to go to pre-paid than to stay under contract to a company.  Tara had the Verizon Straight Talk phone when she was living here.  She actually got better service than I did and her phone would do everything that mine did.  The phone company told me yesterday that I'm paying for the privilege of being able to have an Iphone.  Seriously?  Little Man paid lots of money to buy that phone for me.  It's not worth an extra $50 a month of my phone bill to have the stupid thing.  Don't get me wrong, it's not that I don't like my iphone.  It's an ok phone.  But most of the phones that I've owned over the years are ok.  If it picks up and talks when I need it to - that's most of what I care about.  That and saving some money!  I ended up canceling the order I placed yesterday and I'm past the point where I've had it with them.  


     We've been having a great time with the sweet baby.  He's so much fun to be around.  He is very opinionated and knows exactly what he wants now.  He's still the sweetest baby.  But don't call him a baby.  He will tell you "I not a baby - I a BOY!".  And he will scream "Boy" so you know that he's serious.  He is at the point where he's gotten in to playing with his cars.  My mom got him a matchbox car rug for Christmas last year and that thing has seen more action this trip than the rest of the time he's had it added together.  He finally figured out the take apart truck that "Santa" got him for Christmas last year too.  It's hard to believe that our little one will be 3 in just a few days.  Trying to clear up at least a little money so we can do some sort of small birthday party for him.  At least cake and ice cream.  Let him have some of his little friends over.  With IC and Jen pitching in too, I'm sure it will all work out.  It always does.  :)  Hope everyone is having a good week!  

The six steps to S.A.N.I.T.Y

I found this years ago and posted it predominantly in my family room. The kids didn't find it amusing but I look at it usually several times a week to help me get thru having adult "kids". I'm posting it here in hopes that someone else can find it as useful in the long run as I have.

STOP blaming yourself and stop the flow of money. Stop continually recuing your adult children from one mess after another.

Assemble a support group of other parents in the same situation

Nip excuses in teh bud. Implement rules and boundaries

Trust your instincts.

Yield everything to God, because you're not in control.

As long as we continue to keep enabling our adult children, they will continue to deny they have any problems, since most of their problems are being "solved" by those around them. Only when our adult children are forced to face the consequences of their own actions - their own choices - will it finally begin to sink in how deep their patterns of dpendence and avoidance have become. And only then will we as parents be able to take the next step to real healing, forever ending our enabling habits and behavior.

Setting our adult children free to live the lives God intended them to live is not abandonment- even if it means setting them free during a time of severe trial and tribulation in their lives.

Our money must cease being the life preservers that buoy up our adult children, keeping them afloat through yet another storm. We might be amazed at just how well our adult children can swim when given the opportunity to do so. More important, they just might be surprised at their own ability to survive without the life support, a powerful lesson that no amount of money can purchase.

Real healing begins when a parent stops believing the excuses and lies and insists on the truth. As we develop our action plan, there must be no room for excuses. Our boundaries must be firm. There is a right and there is a wrong, and we are going to choose to do what's right. Period.

Folks, I use this for my teens too. And my strays that come thru here. I set boundaries. I say no to things requiring use of my money even if I have it when necessary. Little Man was not happy with me when he got his camaro. He wanted it on the car insurance then. Immediately. I had set the rule before he got the car, that he had to have a job that covered the financial responsibility of insuring it before I would call the insurance company. And I stuck to it. And he knew I was going to stick to it because I have proven to him in the past that when I set that boundary, I mean it. So, I got a few digs about "can't I just drive it around the block?" or "It's not fair that you got to drive my car and I haven't even driven it yet". My response was always- you knew the rules before we picked up the car. You want to drive- get a job. I seriously believe having to look at the car sitting in the drive was a great incentive for him to motivate.

In other news.... Yesterday was a hectic day around here. Little Man had a Dr. appt yesterday morning. He is having some serious issues with heatburn. Zantac didn't work so we're now trying the purple pill. B had an appointment with the orthopedic. His growth plate has fused together prematurely in one of the 2 bones that he broke. This is not good as one set of bones fused together but not the 2nd set. This is also not good because he's not near done growing yet. So this might be a permanent issue. They have also come to the conclusion that there is most likely a torn ligament in there that tore when he fell ... IN AUGUST. The kid has been complaining of pain since August. And remember, this is a child that never shed a tear when he broke it originally. Just walked up to the coach and said : "Coach, I think I broke my wrist." calm as calm can be. The thought of him having to go thru another surgery on this wrist has got me seriously aggravated and my nerves on edge. To make matters around here even more fun, when we got up yesterday morning, all the water lines in the house were frozen. Thank God and the luck of the Irish that nothing exploded when they thawed. However, before I can head out of town tomorrow to go see Ice Cube for his birthday, I have to get out there today and do some pipe wrapping. Speaking of which, guess I'll drag the boys out of bed and have them handle some of that for me. ;)

Quick Update #3

I have met all types of people during this move. And I will say that the majority of them have been so very nice. But, don't you know, that I'm the lucky one that always has to run across the fools who are brain dead in my travels. The people down here at new town have been so very nice for the most part. There was the mail lady who pulled in the drive to introduce herself before we even had our mailbox up. Our neighbors that stopped by to introduce themselves and ended up helping us out with the electrical problem. Oh have they helped with our electrical issues! It seems that the original electrician that was hired to come out here and do some work was brain dead. He set the new electrical pole by the well house. That would be all very good and dandy but the house hookups are 110 feet away on the total opposite side of the house. Additionally, he set the pole by an out of date electrical line that only had 110 running to it. That didn't bode well for me ever having air conditioning. And in my warped view of the world, there are 2 things I have to have. AC and Internet. And not the type of AC that results from white cold flakes falling from the sky folks. I want the cold stuff blowing out my vents. Additionally, the brain dead electrician apparently ran my 220 water pump off a 110 line which would cause me a massive headache and lack of water before too long when the pump would have fried from improper wiring. That would have been a real joy to live thru right? One of my new neighbors is a retired electrician. And he is a southern gentleman from head to toe. He and his son both live by new house and they have been a god send! Our realtor called them to see if they had a generator that we could use for the water guy to get the water going since we had no electrical to the house yet. (We still have no water either but that's another story) These two gentlemen showed up and have taken over my electrical issues in a most appreciated way. They know the county inspector and were able to get things inspected and going faster. They knew what needed to be done and showed up with a back hoe to get it done. And the dad even ran to the store and picked up the parts needed instead of sending me. He did it to make sure he got what he needed and that I didn't get the wrong thing but as I have no idea where anything is around here, I'm sure not going to complain. As of right now, we're still in the hotel but 2 wonderful neighbors moved the pole to where it needed to be yesterday and local co-op came out just before 5 last night and got power to the pole so this morning wonderful neighbors are going to get it to the house. Tomorrow morning, water guy arrives and I'll have water.

Speaking of the hotel.... I will say that the ladies that work for this hotel are wonderful. They have been so nice! And I have killed off my hotel key by leaving it in the heat or by my cell phone or something so many times as to be embarrassing. Yes, my friends, I am a ditz that way. Every person that I've dealt with that works for the hotel has been wonderful. However, the guy that owns the hotel.... is a total jerk. He is not from here. He treats his employees like trash. He is one of those people that emigrates to the US, starts a business and doesn't have to pay taxes for 10 years. Now, I'm not a political type person as you all know. This is not a political blog and never will be. But every so often, something crops up and as this is my space to voice my opinions on life- this is one time when you'll actually hear something that might be considered political. This is America - land of the free, home of the brave, etc, etc... But, it's pretty sad when our national debt is rising to the point that our grandchildren will be paying off the current pork bill stimulus and yet emigrants can afford to start businesses over here before Americans can. Why don't they have to pay taxes? What kind of garbage is that? Can you imagine that amount of money going into the US treasury if these folks had to pay taxes like the rest of us do? Holy cow! And this is a rude rude man. He's rude to employees and rude to patrons of the hotel alike. I'll be more specific in later posts but for now, I'm still stuck here until tomorrow. Propane men that came out- more super nice folks. Of course, one of the first things I've heard from everyone we've met is "do they (referring to the boys) play football?" So, this must be a football oriented community. Well, B has no inclination to play football at all. Little Man does and probably will tryout. But, B.... Well, there's just too much running for him in that game. ;)

Well, I need to go meet wonderful neighbors at the house and get out there when it's cool enough to make unpacking with no air not quite so miserable. I have plenty more to share about the moving company but that will have to wait for another post and the pictures to show anyone why they should never use this particular moving company. Have a great day!

Quick update 2

I'm at the hotel. I had to move the scheduling for all the utilities till Weds. I will say that the phone company, directv satellite, and the propane people we're working with are GREAT! Cannot tell you how nice these folks were with rescheduling for us! Unbelievable. Hughesnet internet satellite company.... not so good. Actually, absolutely horrible! I spent 2 hours yesterday on a cell phone trying to get to someone to reschedule my installation for today. 2 hours folks. I got shuffled back and forth between 5 different numbers only to have absolutely no one that could/would help me. It was horrible. So far today, I have spoken with 3 people at the hughesnet company. I finally got a super nice woman at the installation company that could help me and she gave me the installation guys number. Internet is life as we know folks and I have no intention of being down for any length of time. So much as ONE day is one day too many.

The boys are working today with the moving company. They needed a couple of grunt workers to move concrete blocks to get the house set. Little Man and B jumped at the chance to do manual labor for $8/hour. I took them down to the home site this morning at 9 from the hotel with a cooler full of water and I'll go down there later today. After they set the back half of the house, I can get in there and start unloading the Uhaul. The Uhaul must be returned by like 9:30 in the morning so it has to be unloaded today. The moving company hasn't picked up my shed yet and moved it nor the other half of the deck so I guess I'm going to look like white trash until they get the shed here to put the stuff back in it. I'll have the boys hide the stuff that goes in the shed behind the house or something. UGH! They also left the boys basketball goal. That would be really bad. My kids play basketball 2 on 2 every time they're all together. I'd hate to have to go buy another one. I'll talk to Sean (our mover guy) today and ask him to please bring back that basketball goal when they bring the shed and porch.

Well, I have a few things that I have to take care of around here like a load of laundry. We brought the toaster oven in with us last night so we had dinner here at the room. Picked up a few groceries to keep in the hotel fridge. My bushes and trees that I planted over spring break are looking pretty good. I have blueberries on the bushes. There won't be very many this year but there will definitely be some. And next year, they will keep increasing.

Take care all!

headaches

Flipping channels back and forth between the Rangers (Kansas up by 1 in the 6th inning) and the Red Sox (who were winning by 2 last time I flipped over).  

It's Kevin Millwood's first Earned Run this season.  (Rangers pitcher)

Little Man has a friend over and is not real happy because he wanted to watch a movie - not baseball (don't know why I bother to put satellite in their rooms....  guess so they can complain about everything I want to watch)

B is watching baseball and playing his fantasy baseball league.  He's trying to win season tickets for next year.  (don't see that happening)

We have been lying new flooring in the front entranceway today.  I had a 2 x 3 white linoleum floor there that every time you walked in the door and it had been raining- the only place to stand without being a contortionist was to step on the carpet.  This is bad for the carpet as evidenced by the 6 pounds of dirt that was under there when we pulled the section up.  Gross.  Disgusting.  Now, we have a 5 x 5 section where hopefully, they will be able to avoid wet, muddy shoes on my carpet.  Or we will have a 5 x 5 section if I don't lose my mind before it gets done.  I took some pictures part way thru the project.  B picked out a faux woodgrain type tile so we'll see how it looks if I ever get it all done.  And right now thats a big IF>  I also have some nice shots of the pink mud that I am using to fix a few spots where the idiot dog I have decided to scratch my wall.  Hey, if you're going to give yourself a headache then why not do it big right?  The pink mud is pretty cool because it turns white when it dries so that you know when it's safe to play with it some more.  Fun stuff huh?  

When I bought my house in Indiana years ago, I bought a house bought during WWI.  It had old horsehair plaster walls.  It was what you'd call a fixer upper.  And that was probably an understatement.  SD and I spent a lot of time tearing down those old plaster walls, redoing the electrical, hanging drywall and designing rooms.  I spent my birthday one year installing a toilet while he left in the middle of the bathroom floor project to go to Florida.  I had the absolutely worst time with the wax ring of that dang toilet and spent probably a good 4 hours that day cussing.  But, it was a 1 bathroom house.  It had to go in.  The boys could only pee out the back door so many times before the neighbors started complaining ya know?  I loved what we had done to that house.  What happened to the house you might ask?  I left it.  I gave it to SD when we got divorced.  I moved and got a new one.  He got the old one foreclosed on.  Yep.  House only had like 4 years left to pay on it when I left and he didn't bother to make the payments and lost the house.  Why would I leave my house you might ask?  Because it was a fixer upper.  And while I was a good follow directions type of girl - physically, there was no way I could have hung ceilings and stuff.  Also, staying in that house would have insured that I spent the next years of my life worrying about what he would do when he got drinking or doing drugs.  A few experiences with him earlier in our time together taught me that 1.  He can kick in a door and stomp the phone faster than I can dial and get the police there.  And 2.  His mom will bail him out of jail before I make it out of the emergency room.  The local police reports tell me that his next woman he moved in there didn't fare any better as there was one report of all the windows in the front of the house being broken out.  So, I left that house.  I have put my own touches on this one over the years.  The things I learned working on that old fixer upper house have worked well for me here.  When boys bored and stuck in the house while it rains for a week straight decide to play ball in the house and put a hole in the wall.... I know how to fix it.  I'm not afraid to change out a plug or light switch.  I know enough about plumbing to cut and fix a CPVC pipe.  Just don't let me play with anything sharp.  I don't do real well with sharp objects.  I always end up cutting myself while playing with sharp objects.  

Well, back to alternating between watching the game and cussing the flooring.  Here's hoping that the end result is worth it.  In other words, hoping that the boys and I do a good enough job to not be embarrassed when people see it.  Take care all!

cars, kids, and headaches

My kids have a wonderful set of god-parents.  Their "aunt PJ" as they call her is one of the most giving people I know.  She's been my best friend since I was in high school.  She is also absentminded, loses everything, and would be late to her own funeral if someone didn't get her there.  None of those qualities at all take away from the great person that she is.  Uncle S decided to look for a car for Little Man so that he could drive himself to work, get them back and forth to school, etc.  Well, as Uncle S has a disabling disease that has had him confined to a wheelchair for over 20 years now, LM and Aunt P went car hunting.  This is like sending the blind to find a red dress with no sales person to help.  Remember, the boys have been raised without any type of "dad" and although I know a wee bit about cars, my joint disease keeps me from crawling around on the ground or turning bolts.  My idea of fixing my car is dialing 1-800-call-bub/bob/johnny/whomever.  And Aunt P- well, lets just say that I once caught her driving the handicapped van with over 5,000 miles since an oil change and the inspection sticker had been out for over a year.  She has a lot on her plate and things tend to get lost in the shuffle sometimes.  But, a car mechanic she's not.  So, they go test drive this car and bring it home.  All without discussing it with me or letting me even see the car.  But, LM is happy and he's all excited because he's getting a car.  Can you say HEADACHE?  

P goes to get the car and it over-heats between where they picked it up from and getting to their house.  So, then there's a nice wet spot on the drive from where it's been parked.  So, they get in the car and drive it out to our house which is a 35-40 min drive from P's house.  WITHOUT. ADDING. WATER.  Where it proceeds to over-heat on the drive AGAIN.  How this car didn't end up with cracked heads is way beyond my comprehension.  So, I take it to the cousins who are kind enough to over-haul the car and get it all fixed up.   By the way- the puddle that was on the drive.  BRAKE FLUID.  The car had absolutely NO front breaks at all.  How they got it out here without wrecking?  Again, beyond me.  By the grace of God.....

This morning, it's time for the inspection, plate change, etc, so LM stays home from school (so he can sign the title and get the car in his name) and we head out in his car to go get the inspection done.  It doesn't even make it the mile out of the neighborhood.  It over- heats again.  I'm not a very happy camper at this point, because I know the cousins have gone thru this thing and had it on the computer- everything.  It split a heater hose and is spewing water all over the place.  UGH.  At this point, there are some not very nice things going thru my head about buying cars without having a mechanic look at them, etc.  And a prevalent theme of - I hate dealing with kids and used cars.  So, as of now, it's sitting at the cousins' house again.  He will pull the bad hose, I'll go pick up a new one, and he'll put it back on.  As the fair starts next week, finding time to take it in for inspection will be hard.  And it's more stress on me.  Not to mention, LM is less than happy right now as the "new car" he got has required over $400 in parts and he hasn't gotten to drive it yet.  And me-   I'm thinking:

I TOLD THEM SO 

but I haven't said it.  

yet.