We had a good day here. Not very Christmasy but a good day if that makes sense. With taking the Christmas decorations down before leaving town and having spaghetti for dinner, things around here didn't look very christmasy.
This is the 1oth year now that the kids haven't heard a word one from SD at Christmas. The first year, he called the day after Christmas. Since then - silence. As usual, not a word one from anyone else on his side of the family either. Not a card or a call. They didn't even bother to walk to the mailbox once this year. Of course, I don't think either B or Little Man would remember ever hearing from that side of the family so they would have no reason to look. But every year, I hope that SD will wake up and remember that he has kids. He does for his girlfriends kids. He buys presents and is there for them. But the kids that he helped to create are forgotten like old trash tossed to the curb. Not a word one from any of their 4 aunts or the uncle. Not a word from from SD's mom or dad. Its like they were never born to that side of the family. And I suppose, after 11 years of silence, there is no connection there anymore. The kids wouldn't recognize any of them if they walked past them on the street. Can you miss what you never had? They sure don't act like they do (the kids that is). And from the lack of silence from the family that should have been but isn't - they apparently have no interest in knowing the kids. I guess I thought that with SD going to trial this year that he might want to take the bull by the horns and try to make things right before prison. If convicted, he stands to get sentenced to over 100 years. Even with good time, he'd be over 70 before he got out. The kids would be in their 40's and 50's. What do you talk about then? Where do you go after 40 years of silence?
So, I wonder- how many other kids are out there who didn't hear a word one from a parent? I'm sure there are thousands. And some of those losers will make excuses for their silence. I'm sure they tell their family and friends things like... "my ex is a bleep and won't let me talk to the kids". Or when they don't send a single thing to the kids- not even a card. What's their excuse sound like I wonder? Is it the "I didn't have money"? How many of those same folks do you think had money for cigarettes or alcohol but couldn't spend one measly dollar to send their kids a card? How many of them do you think tried to justify is to themselves with the excuse of they don't think the other parent would give the kids the card? And how many of them ever tried to send that card the first time to get it returned? Probably none of them. I know a guy like that. His ex-wife really has done everything possible to keep his kids from him. But he's made it easy for her. He has to jump thru hoops for visitation and he doesn't want to jump thru hoops - so he doesn't. He just doesn't take the visits. There are tons of things that he could do. He's even asked me about what he could do. Every single thing I have suggested has been ignored. He's pretty good about whining about how he doesn't get to see his kids. But does he go to work and pay child support? Not a dime. Does he send things to his kids? Not a one. Does he do anything that the court told him he needed to do? Not a one. Is this guy a friend of mine- no just an acquaintance. With everything the kids and I have gone thru from SD's lack of contact and lack of support, I have no respect at all for this other man. His behavior towards his kids (or lack thereof) is too much like SD's. His excuses - cut from the same line of garbage. The lack of responsibility for his part in the scenario, disgusts me quite honestly. Just as much as the women who try to use the "single" parent moniker. Women who are either single by choice or alienation. Like with the guy I know - if his ex tried to tell me she was a "single" parent, I'd be tempted to shove her off a cliff. She's single by choice. She didn't want him around and he doesn't care enough to fight her on it. They're both at fault. Just like the woman who has been stalking my blog. The one that contacted me. The one that emailed me a few months ago looking for sympathy and validation that she was doing right by alienating her kids from their dad. Remember her? She got all upset when I called her out and told her that she was wrong. So now she continues to stalk my blog. Not that I care- she doesn't try to contact me after a good friend offered me her attorney. Shame it came down to that before she quit with the threats and emails. But she still stalks my blog.
I am seriously considering making my blog private or moving to a new location. Not that I care who reads really. I wouldn't care if my ex found this and saw what I had to say. Maybe the truth would sink in if he saw it in writing. (I'm not holding my breath here folks) Maybe someone will stumble across this and see themselves in it and decide to change their ways in the New Year. (Not holding my breath on that either). Its my experience that those who injure their children thru their own selfishness find all kinds of crazy things to tell themselves to justify their behavior. Its also my experience that this same failure to accept responsibility overflows into the rest of their life. Nothing is ever their fault. If they did poorly in school - it was because the teacher picked on them. Inability to make or keep friends- always the other person's fault. Somewhere along the way, they never learned or were never taught responsibility. They are too self-centered to ever be a good spouse or parent. They are never truly happy. They haven't learned to love themselves so they don't know how to love anyone else. Most of the ones I've run across are habitual liars. Every story told about what happens in their lives is doctored to make them look like the pity poor me that they want. They're takers. Most of them seem to want a free ride. They want to live off of new boy/girlfriends. They think the ex still owes them and should support them while they sit around and eat bon bons. And it doesn't matter if they're man or woman. I've seen just as many men who want to lie around and whine about how life has done them as women. You know the ones I'm talking about. Man or woman - they don't want to do better. They don't want to make an effort. They talk a good line about what they supposedly want but are not willing to take any effort to get there. They want the white picket fence and the kids but they sure aren't willing to get a job to get there. My younger 1/2 brother is like that. Almost 40 and still lives at home with his mom.
My wish would be that in the New Year that some of these folks wake up and grow up. They learn to consider how their actions affect others. And they learn to take responsibility for their action and the consequences of those actions. And if that doesn't happen....
Well, then may a million fire ants crawl in their pants and bite them on the part they sit on. Maybe then their brain will relocate to their head where it should have been in the first place.
Take care and may you all have a peaceful day!
