I am so very beat....

I have to slow down.  I have been burning both ends of the candle for so long that I'm on major burn out mode.  I've been packing and working on the house and dealing with kids and running on no sleep for so long that I'm sick.  And yeah, I know everyone told me not to over-do but there's no one else to do it all.  Vix is supposed to be helping with the remodeling.  But between taking care of Cal and the fact that she sleeps constantly, she may get out here 2 hours a week.  She was supposed to make a phone call and in 5 days - couldn't find time.  Of course, I think Vix suffers from depression.  With everything going on, she has good reason to be stressed.  Unfortunately, this makes my ability to get her help - because she sleeps A LOT.  Like yesterday, she got upset and bitchy because I called her at 2:30 PM.  Now, I know that there are nights that she doesn't get to bed till between 4-5.  I've been having those nights every dang night lately.  But 5-2:30 is still 7 1/2 hours.  That's about as much sleep as I've been getting in 3 days.   And after that much sleep, she's still exhausted.  Even with an aide coming in 2 days a week who does laundry and some light cleaning, she falls behind on her house.  I'd worry about her if I weren't so darn tired.  And, at this point, on the irritated side.  I'm sure a good part of my irritation is jealousy that she gets to sleep, ignore her housework, and pretend that everything will get done for our moves all by itself.  She tends to try to ignore things in the hopes that whatever it is will just go away or work itself out.  She tried that with a roofing problem we had on one of the houses.  She "couldn't find time" to file the insurance claim for 9 1/2 months.  By the time she got around to it...  the roof was leaking thru to the inside of the house.  And please excuse my vent.  I love this woman more than anyone will ever know.  I am just overwhelmed and exhausted to the point of being a witch I think.  And I seriously think I'm jealous of the fact that she can sleep and just expect things to get done while she does.  And I'm almost mad at myself for beating myself up.  I've taken more of my pain medicine in the last few weeks than I normally take in a month.  And then I get frustrated because I feel that she doesn't care about the fact that I'm killing myself trying to pick up the slack of things that have to be done while she's sleeping.  Cal told her to find out about the electrical.  2 months after Cal told her to take care of it, it wasn't done.  So I did it.  Then I had to stay on her to make the call to the real estate agent to meet the electrical company out there.  The way it's going, there is no chance that this house will be moving on June 12 as it's supposed to.  There is some paperwork that the mortgage company needs signed by the moving company that she has to take care of.  It's still sitting on her desk.  I decided last night that I was going to just deal with the baby shower this weekend and then I'll deal with the next thing that has to be done and then one day at a time.  Trying to do it all at once has done nothing but drive me borderline nuttier than I already was.  

On other notes, SD went to court on Friday.  He apparently doesn't want to accept the plea agreement that they offered him and they have set the case for trial.  He thinks he's going to be able to convince a jury that he's innocent.   I. DONT. THINK. SO.  "Yes, your honor- that was me in my car selling cocaine to the undercover officer but I'm innocent?"  Hello!  Like I said - they're all nuts!  Every last one of them.  And his crazy sister, Susan, is still on a roll.  She's taken to leaving nasty messages directed at me on April's myspace.  April is about ready to block her if she doesn't start.  And she's so self absorbed, she pays no attention to anyone else or what they're going thru.  Reese' baby girl is still in foster care.  The baby is probably about 5 months old now.  Reese should be getting to take her home with her some time in the near future.  What happened was:  Reese had a baby boy who died at 5 1/2 weeks old.  The little boy was on an apnea monitor.  After the baby boy passed away, Reese kept trying to find out from the sleep monitor company why the monitor didn't go off.  Well, turns out, that the monitor wasn't hooked up correctly.  Now, no one can find the lady that "trained" Reese to use the monitor at the hospital.  Was the lady certified to train Reese?  Where did the lady go?  Meanwhile, Reese's new baby has to stay in foster care while she's on the monitor.  Because Reese didn't "use the monitor right on the baby boy".  And Reese goes to parenting classes, and health classes, and visits her daughter every day that  they allow her to.  And runs up to the hospital to stay with her 11 year old who got hit by a truck.  Makes my headaches with my boys seem that much unimportant.  

To end this on a positive note.....  Sunday, we were at the Rangers game with friends for a friends birthday party at the game.  Not only did the Rangers win their 7th game in a row to sweep the Angels, Josh Hamilton made a catch that was absolutely unbelievable.  His catch changed the momentum of the game and probably gave the Rangers the win.  So, Congrats to Josh!  I hope he didn't hurt himself too badly with this and that he can play the game tonight against Detroit.  The latest word on the news, was that Josh was "day to day" as to whether or not he could play.  Good luck tonight guys!

updates from the land of chaos

Well, the insurance company totaled out Little Man's car.  This is in and of itself- garbage.  The car needs a front fender, bumper, and one other part that goes around the headlights but it's totally fixable.  They still haven't made a decision as to whether or not they're going to take responsibility for all of this or not.  Since the lady lied about it to her insurance company- that's just made it way more complicated than it should have been.

My mom does NOT have her cancer back - Thank God.  She has had artery problems for years.  She had to have the arteries replaced from her stomach into both legs in the past.  Apparently, she has some artery blockage in her neck.  There are also signs of leakage.  She has to go in for more testing next Tuesday.  If the arteries are blocked by X% then she will have to go to Indianapolis to have surgery.  I guess small town Indiana where she lives doesn't have the technology to take care of the possible problems.  I believe she said the problems are in the carotid artery.  On top of all this, she caught some creeping crud that's going around there and she sounds HORRIBLE.  There are times that I hate living 1000 miles away from my mom and this is definitely one of them.  I haven't felt this miserable about being this far away from mom since my dad was sick and then passed.  I almost moved back north at that point but as mom pointed out- my health doesn't care for cold white stuff falling from the sky.  

Add to my stress level, one 16 year old with an attitude bigger than the state of Texas, beating my body up with activity that I shouldn't be doing and I suppose it's natural that my blood pressure was much higher than normal at my Dr's appointment yesterday?  Not that it was "high" per se - just higher than mine has ever been.  

My great thanks to everyone who wished the boys well.  You are all right and I am so thankful that they were ok.  It ALMOST makes the mouth on LM not so bad....almost.  Thanks too for letting me vent.  I think I'm a bit overwhelmed right now with everything going on.  I'm going to relax on Friday.  Take B to work with me and actually ENJOY the fair for a bit afterwards.  I haven't gotten a chance to even walk the midway yet.  I haven't seen any of the fair at all.  So, I'll have PICTURES!  I've asked all the boys about going to the fair.  LM is too busy being rude and getting into trouble in school so he may not get to go this year.  Hurricane and Ice Cube have yet to answer me.  And there's only 1 week left.  This may not be a good photo opportunity for this year.  

Thanks again all!