I'm unpopular

I'm very unpopular with my children lately.  We are into the last 6 weeks of school here.  This means that the schools are slacking off on the teaching.  Really, it does.  I don't know how it works where y'all live- but here, they teach till the kids take the state tests and then it's like play day.  The amount off assignments slack off.  The teachers relax rules.  The kids get cabin fever.  B, who was born hating school to start with, is a fairly good student.  He's not a kid who's going to take the AP classes but he's usually at least a B student.  Science has been his biggest struggle thru the years.  He's definitely his mom's son.  I had straight A's in high school except for science. I just didn't get it.  I got my only C in high school in science.  And did the most work for that class too.  Most unfair.  B's best subject has always been math.  It's what he's usually pulled an A in.  With fairly little effort.  It's also the class he's liked to go to the most/complained about the least.  Until this year.  B had the unfortunate experience this year of getting the same math teacher that had all 3 of his older brothers plus one of my foster sons.  This is not a first time that one boy has gotten the same teacher that one of the brothers has had.  B's 4th grade teacher had both Little Man and Ice Cube in 3rd grade.  However, this teacher is different.  His grade- he's still maintained a B average.  But for some reason, this child of mine who doesn't socialize, doesn't go to friends houses, rarely invites friends over, and that we can hardly ever get to talk has spent the whole year in trouble.  Now, I will say that Hurricane was my social butterfly.  He never quit talking in school.  There's no stop switch between his brain and his mouth.  Seriously.  He thinks it- it comes out his mouth.  It's irritating.  He was my first go-round with this teacher.  When Ice Cube was in her class, she wrote him up for being tripped.  Another child tripped him and he got the write up.  Not the child that did the tripping.  Ice Cube.  Then we get to the foster son- well, he had issues.  And that's a story for a whole another post, but lets say that he had issues.  And every bit of trouble that he got into in her class, he probably deserved.  And then she had Little Man.  My know-it-all child.  My child that argued problems with her and proved her wrong when she marked an answer wrong on his test.  Not once- but several times.  And from dealing with Little Man and his attitude for the last 16 years, I imagine that he was very condescending and irritating when he did.  So, I imagine she cringed when she got B just as I cringed when I saw who he had.  And just as she did with Little Man, she has not followed B's 504 plan.  504 plans are for children who have a disability.  One that is not bad enough to send them to special classes but one that effects their learning.  In the boys cases, it's vision.  Their work is supposed to be enlarged, state tests are in large print, and some other modifications.  

So, why am I unpopular?  B missed school last week.  This put him 4 days behind on work. For a kid who doesn't read real well (tracking issues with vision) this is not a good thing.  He was missing a few labs and the teacher (who also had Ice Cube and foster-son although in this case this is a good thing) emailed me asking me when he was available.  So, mean mom that I am, I volunteered him to stay after school tonight for an extra 2 hours.  Now, Ms Science teacher is a wonderful caring woman.  She answers emails in a timely manner, is more than willing to give her time in tutorials, still asks me how the ex foster-son is doing, and is willing to order in pizza for the kids to have while they're staying after tonight.  I'm not real sure what his problem is other than the typical "I hate school" problem.  And for that- tough.  On top of this, Little Man is missing 3 assignments in English.  I am supposed to ignore this since he "still has a B in there".  Well, it doesn't work that way.  So, I informed him that he wouldn't be going out this weekend if said assignments weren't promptly turned in.  Oh, I'm "ruining his life".  I'm the "worst mom in the world" and "why should I care if he's missing an assignment or 3 if his grade is still up?"  Yes.  It's been a wonderful fun time dealing with this today.  

Well, like my momma always told me:  "Good thing parenting isn't a popularity contest"  I'd be a failing.  I'm definitely NOT popular today.  Doubt I will be tomorrow either.  Good thing I don't care if they like me or not.  Well, not when it comes to these things at least.  I know they still love me even when they don't like me very much.  And whether they do or not- they're stuck with me.  ;) 

On another note, B and I were at the Rangers game last night when history was made.  I'm not talking about the 19-6 win to stop the losing streak they've had going.  I'm not talking about the fact that the bull pen didn't blow it for the starter again.  Although that little fact alone is relatively shocking.  I'm not even talking about the fact that last night was Jackie Robinson day.  Although I admit that it was interesting to try to figure out who the players were last night when they were all wearing #42 in honor of Jackie Robinson.  What a great honor for a great man!  What I'm talking about was Ian Kinsler getting 6 hits in 6 at bats last night and hitting for the cycle.  Now, Kinsler is only the 4th player in Rangers history to hit for the cycle.  And he's only 1 or 2 Rangers to ever go 6 for 6 in a game.  And I will admit that with all the baseball I watch and we watch usually 2 games a night during baseball season - no less than 1 game every day and there's a 162 game season - that I have never seen a player hit the cycle.  For those of you who don't know what that means: he hit a single, a double, a triple, and a home-run all in the same game.  There are players who have hit for the cycle before.  I've heard of it done before - I just hadn't been watching that game that particular day.  I have just never seen it done.  And I heard on the radio this morning that the last time a player went 6 for 6 and hit for the cycle in the same day was 119 years ago.  And I may never forget the site of Ian Kinsler's face when he tipped his hate to the crowd as we sat in awe trying to figure out if he had just done what we thought he might have and then got a standing ovation.   Another congratulations to Nelson Cruz for the grand slam.  A great game on a night to honor a great man.  I'm glad B and I went.  It was also autograph Weds at the ball park and we were lucky enough to get several autographs.  So, a big thanks to those gentlemen who took time to sign autographs for the fans there with a smile.  

And it continues.....

First of all, let me say a big THANK YOU to all the people who have read and commented on my last few posts.  I can't begin to tell you how much I value your opinions and input on this!  This is one of those subjects that I don't have many un-biased places to vent.  Everyone that I am friends with that knows Ex thinks I should string him up by the nether regions.  My mom turns funny shades of purple when his name is mentioned.  It's just one of THOSE topics that tends to make people look like volcanos are beginning to erupt under their scalp.  ;)  Even the cousins of his that live around here get the same way.  Hmmmm  Interesting this to think about actually.  Anyhow, my friends certainly aren't unbiased and I definitely wanted unbiased opinions.  So, thank you again!  

I got the paperwork notarized today.  I still have a few blanks that I'm trying to fill in with all the papers.  I got his moms number and address, his dad's information, some cousins.  Most of his aunts and uncles are either diseased or in prison.  Not very helpful there.  He has like 3 of his mom's brothers that are in prison and his dad's only brother won't talk to him.  Most of the cousins on dad's side of the family are diseased.  3 of the uncles son's are dead from alcohol related incidents, 1 son is on the run from the police and on the City most wanted list, and the 5th son is a drug addict.  Not much to go on there.  But, I should have it totally done and in the mail by Friday.   Just a few more things to try and google.  

It was mentioned that the drug usage is an issue in all this too.  It is a major issue that we've had to deal with.  I am SO very torn with all of this.  I believe that the best thing for my kids is to NOT be in that merry-go-round that is Ex's life.  I think that the best thing that he ever did for the kids is to leave them alone and not drag them into that mess.  However, I also wish that the kids had a DAD.  Not a sperm donor that ignores them.  A real dad!   Not just to support them financially.  To be there for them emotionally.  Someone that they saw on a regular basis.  To teach them men type things and have that male type bonding.  So that they had 2 parents and not just me.  And part of it is selfish too.  I'd like to have that other person to talk to - someone sensible to help make decisions and decide what's best.  I have some pretty good kids and they're turning into pretty decent young men but they started at a disadvantage in life from only having 1 parent and the fact that we live in a lower income bracket.  It's been an uphill battle and there have been some pretty interesting bumps along the way.  

Ex was had done drugs before we met.  But he had gotten clean.  He was even avoiding alcohol way back when.  He avoided his family back then too because they are all party type people.  Both parents are alcoholics.  Mom has 18 DUI charges.  Uncles in prison on drug charges.  He neglected to mention most of the family history to me.  But, at 22- I doubt I would have been mature enough to care anyhow.  I knew he was avoiding them because they had issues.  I just wasn't mature/smart enough to realize that this would never last - especially with us living in the same county.  So, we had some battles thru the years about pot.  Major blow out wars over alcohol.  Ex would go months without drinking (we were together years before he started again).  And then - boom- with no warning- it would be a binge.  And he'd disappear.  When Hurricane had his appendix out- it was emergency surgery.  He was 5.  He was in recovery before I could find Ex.  Well, I could find where he was drinking- he just refused to come to the phone at the bar.  I had to find someone to go track his tail down to get him to the hospital.  Drunk and passed out when Little Man was born.  Couldn't find him when I went into labor with Ice Cube.  Etc...Etc...Etc...  He'd leave to go to the store to get a gallon of milk and not come back for 3 days.  It was - well, interesting to say the least.  So, the kids never depended on him ever.  They knew from very early on that he was most likely not going to be there when/ if needed.  I would go so far as to say that if he was needed- that's when he was most likely to disappear.  And he had plenty of folks/cousins to drink with on his trips.  But then, he could stay sober for months on end and be a very charming, sweet person and always so repentant.  So, why did I stay?  I'm a sucker- he'd get bad- I'd leave or he'd leave and then he'd sober up and be human again.  And I was a chicken.  Afraid that I couldn't do it.  Afraid to admit to anyone that my life was miserable.  And he always told me that I could go any time I wanted- but he'd kill me before I took his kids.  And I was never really sure he wouldn't get drunk and do it.  I even got a restraining order on him one time.  He kicked in the door and stomped every phone in the house into pieces.  His sister called the police on him (she lived in the upstairs apartment and heard him breaking things).  He was out of jail before I got out of the emergency room.  So, having someplace safe to go was what I thought would be a consideration.  Had I known he would walk away and never look back- it would have been over years sooner.  But- then I wouldn't have LM or B and so I guess that's what God had planned for my life.   But, the last year before I left- he was on the road driving truck.  He got involved with his dispatch lady and together they started with the cocaine.  And he's been messed up with it now for the last 10 years.  It's sending him to prison.  I imagine if he hadn't gotten busted- it would be putting him in the grave instead.  Any way you look at it, he's into the drug scene so far I can't see him ever recovering.  He sells pot, cocaine and pain pills and uses all of the above too.  Prison will probably save his life.  But yeah, drugs are also a part of this whole mess.  From him- not me.  ;)  I imagine that the 2 parent thing around here is not ever going to be a reality and we'll just keep muddling thru.  

Support now- I may get lucky there and the private company might be able to twist his arms enough to pull some pennies out of him.  

On other notes:  Took B and LM to the Ranger game tonight along with LM gf.  9-1 Rangers.  YEAH!  Go guys.  Hope Ian Kinsler gets well soon - doesn't need surgery- and comes off the DL after only 15 days.  I hear Blalock will be back in time for Fridays game.  That will be cool!  We'll be there.  

Enjoy all!