I'm bad

Took B to a sports medicine pediatric specialist.  Gotta love the long titles don't ya?  She feels fairly secure in that the injury is not a "separation in the rotator cuff".  This is good!  If it were torn in 2 - he couldn't raise his shoulder at all.  There is some pain in movement in 1 finger of the cuff (there are 4) but she didn't find that the most problematic.  She was more worried about the pain in the back of his shoulder where there are some small ligaments.  She would like to TRY physical therapy.  We're hoping that given time and appropriate exercise- his body will mend.  His pain level on a scale of 1-10 is hovering at around a 6-7 with certain movements.  She told him that the goal is to NOT have pain so if it hurts- don't do it.  His problem is not that his joint is too tight but over-stretched.  There is too much movement in the joint.  It hyper extends.  She asked him what his goals for therapy were and in typical B fashion he mumbled "I don't know".  She finally got out of him that he'd like to not only play ball again but to be able to return to pitching.  No idea if this will be possible or not at this point.  I'm not really sure how to handle it with the coach that caused the issue.  Not sure if I should talk to the league or the coach or both.  That coach definitely does not need to be coaching at that level again.  

Was talking to Aunt C the other night and heard Ex told her son that he will "kill himself before going back to prison".  Great!  Just what I need.  A suicidal ex.  NOT.  His chances of avoiding prison are somewhere between slim and nil (they really frown on selling large quantities of drugs to under-cover policemen).  If he does something as ignorant as he threatens, it's a finality for the kids.  Whatever hopes they've harbored for him to grow up and make things right in their lives would be gone.  I don't want my kids to have to go through that. Ugh!  

B and I went to see High School Musical 3 last night.  He really wanted to go.  It was a good movie and we really enjoyed it.  

Fair is done and I'm back on my vagabond schedule so I'll be online more.  I've spent the last week playing catch up.  I was behind on all my blog reading and did that before moving on to posting.  Maybe I was backwards?  Just nothing has happened here.  Just boring - Dr visits- misbehaving teens and more Dr visits.  Hope everyone else is doing well!

Just another crazy week and other updates

Wow!  What a week!  The funeral for Candy Grandma is on Tuesday.  I suppose you would call it that.  They are having no visitation at the funeral home.  No nothing.  Just a graveside service.  And then back to the X club where they'll all get drunk again.  What a life!  The aunt and uncle that live by me went back for the funeral with their son, K.  The other 2 siblings didn't go back either.  But now, that's not their dad's mom.  It's their dad's step-mom so .... probably a different story.  But the guy cousins have to work too.  I asked the kids briefly about going back but with the 2 younger ones starting school and work schedules for the 2 older ones, plus Little Man started a job last week- there was just no maneuvering around it all.  Even if I could have come up with the money.  Also, I thought about the Ex factor.  I didn't think it would be right to cause a disturbance at the funeral and just us showing up would cause a disturbance.  Ex would want to see and talk to the boys who have no interest in talking to him at this point and then it would get ugly and that's not what everyone else would need.  That's not what the boys need either.  If they had shown a lot of interest in going-  then I would have found a way to make it happen but only the older 2 even remembered her and both of them said they just didn't want to go back.  Sad right?  I imagine if I had pushed for a reason- it would have boiled down to 1-money and 2- their SD (sperm donor).  

So, I called the Ex-mil.  That was an interesting conversation.  It's the 1st time we've spoken in over 4 years.  She was fairly nice about it all.  Never asked about the kids.  She told me about her mom's passing.  I told her I was getting ready to leave to take LM to work and she was confused.  Take who to work? 

"LM"

"He's old enough to work?  Really? Where's he working at now?"

"X company"

"Really?  How old is he now? Is he old enough to work?"

UGH!  You'd think they'd have a general idea of the kids ages but no, she has to ask how old they all are now.  So, updated her that Ice Cube almost has his truck paid off and has had the same gf for almost a year.  Hurricane has had the same gf for going on 4 years running and got her a diamond for christmas last year (promise ring NOT engagement ring he tells me).  She never asked about B at all.  Just told me to tell all the kids that she loves them.  And didn't that get my ears burned.  Because with all the times that she's called them and sent them birthday cards or christmas cards you know?  They really appreciated me passing on that message.  Not.  But you know how it is.  If you don't pass on the message - you feel guilty for not telling them.  And when you do pass on the message - then you're the one that gets chewed out for their shortcomings.  You know the comments like "sure, I can tell she does from the last call/card/contact we had".  I hate teenage sarcasm!  Every single one of them when I said something about their grandma passing freaked out thinking I was talking about MY mom.  They never even considered having another grandmother.  I had to jump in really quick and explain who I was talking about.  Then LM was mad at me for scaring him.  I didn't mean to.  It just never occurred to me in all this mess that with Ex and the majority of his family ignoring their existence that they would forget that that part of the family existed.  I should have known.  

In other news: 

~ Tuesday is back to school day.  Hurray!  

~B has to have a glucose tolerance test on Monday.  Yuck!

We have to go by his school to pick up his new schedule and stuff on Monday too. (LM's is done) B's wasn't right and I had to have some changes made.  He has issues with Science and has vision issues so we had requested a certain teacher for him who is a wonderful lady and will work with him but not let him get away with anything.  The vision issues make certain things fun in school and she already had LM who has the same issues.  

~We still have to do some shopping for them.  OH how fun!  Shopping with 2 teenage boys.  Someone please send valium.  ;)

~We finally heard from B's new coach and he seems pretty nice.  I volunteered to do the scorekeeping for his new team and it was very graciously jumped on/accepted.

~LM's car has been diagnosed (thank you cousin B!!) and will be fixed and ready to go when he gets his license.  We will be picking up part numbers today and going to get the parts!

Well, time to go make myself look human as LM just got called into work an hour early.  Did I mention I can't wait till he gets his car fixed and his license???  Did I?  

And it continues.....

First of all, let me say a big THANK YOU to all the people who have read and commented on my last few posts.  I can't begin to tell you how much I value your opinions and input on this!  This is one of those subjects that I don't have many un-biased places to vent.  Everyone that I am friends with that knows Ex thinks I should string him up by the nether regions.  My mom turns funny shades of purple when his name is mentioned.  It's just one of THOSE topics that tends to make people look like volcanos are beginning to erupt under their scalp.  ;)  Even the cousins of his that live around here get the same way.  Hmmmm  Interesting this to think about actually.  Anyhow, my friends certainly aren't unbiased and I definitely wanted unbiased opinions.  So, thank you again!  

I got the paperwork notarized today.  I still have a few blanks that I'm trying to fill in with all the papers.  I got his moms number and address, his dad's information, some cousins.  Most of his aunts and uncles are either diseased or in prison.  Not very helpful there.  He has like 3 of his mom's brothers that are in prison and his dad's only brother won't talk to him.  Most of the cousins on dad's side of the family are diseased.  3 of the uncles son's are dead from alcohol related incidents, 1 son is on the run from the police and on the City most wanted list, and the 5th son is a drug addict.  Not much to go on there.  But, I should have it totally done and in the mail by Friday.   Just a few more things to try and google.  

It was mentioned that the drug usage is an issue in all this too.  It is a major issue that we've had to deal with.  I am SO very torn with all of this.  I believe that the best thing for my kids is to NOT be in that merry-go-round that is Ex's life.  I think that the best thing that he ever did for the kids is to leave them alone and not drag them into that mess.  However, I also wish that the kids had a DAD.  Not a sperm donor that ignores them.  A real dad!   Not just to support them financially.  To be there for them emotionally.  Someone that they saw on a regular basis.  To teach them men type things and have that male type bonding.  So that they had 2 parents and not just me.  And part of it is selfish too.  I'd like to have that other person to talk to - someone sensible to help make decisions and decide what's best.  I have some pretty good kids and they're turning into pretty decent young men but they started at a disadvantage in life from only having 1 parent and the fact that we live in a lower income bracket.  It's been an uphill battle and there have been some pretty interesting bumps along the way.  

Ex was had done drugs before we met.  But he had gotten clean.  He was even avoiding alcohol way back when.  He avoided his family back then too because they are all party type people.  Both parents are alcoholics.  Mom has 18 DUI charges.  Uncles in prison on drug charges.  He neglected to mention most of the family history to me.  But, at 22- I doubt I would have been mature enough to care anyhow.  I knew he was avoiding them because they had issues.  I just wasn't mature/smart enough to realize that this would never last - especially with us living in the same county.  So, we had some battles thru the years about pot.  Major blow out wars over alcohol.  Ex would go months without drinking (we were together years before he started again).  And then - boom- with no warning- it would be a binge.  And he'd disappear.  When Hurricane had his appendix out- it was emergency surgery.  He was 5.  He was in recovery before I could find Ex.  Well, I could find where he was drinking- he just refused to come to the phone at the bar.  I had to find someone to go track his tail down to get him to the hospital.  Drunk and passed out when Little Man was born.  Couldn't find him when I went into labor with Ice Cube.  Etc...Etc...Etc...  He'd leave to go to the store to get a gallon of milk and not come back for 3 days.  It was - well, interesting to say the least.  So, the kids never depended on him ever.  They knew from very early on that he was most likely not going to be there when/ if needed.  I would go so far as to say that if he was needed- that's when he was most likely to disappear.  And he had plenty of folks/cousins to drink with on his trips.  But then, he could stay sober for months on end and be a very charming, sweet person and always so repentant.  So, why did I stay?  I'm a sucker- he'd get bad- I'd leave or he'd leave and then he'd sober up and be human again.  And I was a chicken.  Afraid that I couldn't do it.  Afraid to admit to anyone that my life was miserable.  And he always told me that I could go any time I wanted- but he'd kill me before I took his kids.  And I was never really sure he wouldn't get drunk and do it.  I even got a restraining order on him one time.  He kicked in the door and stomped every phone in the house into pieces.  His sister called the police on him (she lived in the upstairs apartment and heard him breaking things).  He was out of jail before I got out of the emergency room.  So, having someplace safe to go was what I thought would be a consideration.  Had I known he would walk away and never look back- it would have been over years sooner.  But- then I wouldn't have LM or B and so I guess that's what God had planned for my life.   But, the last year before I left- he was on the road driving truck.  He got involved with his dispatch lady and together they started with the cocaine.  And he's been messed up with it now for the last 10 years.  It's sending him to prison.  I imagine if he hadn't gotten busted- it would be putting him in the grave instead.  Any way you look at it, he's into the drug scene so far I can't see him ever recovering.  He sells pot, cocaine and pain pills and uses all of the above too.  Prison will probably save his life.  But yeah, drugs are also a part of this whole mess.  From him- not me.  ;)  I imagine that the 2 parent thing around here is not ever going to be a reality and we'll just keep muddling thru.  

Support now- I may get lucky there and the private company might be able to twist his arms enough to pull some pennies out of him.  

On other notes:  Took B and LM to the Ranger game tonight along with LM gf.  9-1 Rangers.  YEAH!  Go guys.  Hope Ian Kinsler gets well soon - doesn't need surgery- and comes off the DL after only 15 days.  I hear Blalock will be back in time for Fridays game.  That will be cool!  We'll be there.  

Enjoy all!

I can't believe......

The Rangers beat the Yankees.   Yes, the Rangers have had one of their best seasons lately.  I don't think they've done this well in like 10 years.  But still.... the Yankees are a dynasty.  And a walk off Grand Slam for Marlon Byrd.  Congrats to the Rangers.  I, personally, am still a Red Sox fan first but the Rangers are my 2nd favorite team.  I get to see the Red Sox play in person one time a year if I'm lucky.  We, B and I, go to Ranger games about 3-4 times a month.  B informs me that it was a coaching error.  He says that they pitched a "lefty against a righty when they had a righty warmed up and they should have brought the righty to get a match up".  Now, if that makes ANY sense of all to you- congrats!  That's the 3rd 9th inning win the Rangers have had this week that I know of.  We saw them do it Tuesday and Friday when we were at the games and now tonight.  Unfortunately, my Red Sox lost tonight to Kansas City.  That's fairly unbelievable too.  

That I'm having to deal with ANOTHER boy hitting puberty!  I know it happens.  I know its part of life.  But that does NOT make it any easier.  If there is a time in their lives when I totally feel inadequate- it's when they hit this particular stage.  And I will say:  Thank God for older brothers who are right there helping us both live thru this!  And to have the 2 youngest hitting at the same time is cruel and unusual punishment for me.  Although the 13 year old still resembles a human,  the 16 year old is somewhere along the lines of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde right now.  Patience is the name of the game here right now.  

That my ex-husbands family has invaded the little town I live in.  Now to show you how unbelievable this is.  Ex and family have all lived in a medium sized town in IN.  After the break up we relocated to TX.  Came down here to where the kids god-parents lived and we had support.  Also for safety reason.  We live in SMALL town TX.  When we moved here- population was under 1300 people and that was counting a population that was 80% cows I think.  The nearest McDonalds was 20 miles down the highway.  The nearest Walmart was across the street from the McDonalds.  No fast food in town.  No stoplight or even a stop sign down the main street.  We've now grown enough that it's only 12 miles to the nearest Walmart and McDonalds.  It's still a town down the highway but still.  We even got a Sonic here in town.  But we're still the proverbial "small town".  I live on a country road that's gravel.  More potholes that you can count.  In the middle of nowhere.   So, what would the chances be that his cousin and another cousins family would both get transferred HERE.  To where I live?  And then what would the chances be that they would both buy houses in my neighborhood?  And then their parents came to visit from IN and they talked the parents into moving here.  So another one of their son's bought them a house.  ON. MY. STREET.  And it's not that I don't like these folks.  I do.  This is the only one of Ex's uncles that hasn't been in prison  (out of like 8 or 9 uncles).  They're really decent nice people.  But still....  I can't believe this!

Well, off to bed.  Hope everyone had a good weekend!