irresponsible teens

So, what do you do with your kids when they decide that their friends are more important than being with family for a holiday? Or say they choose to ignore your parenting time to go with the other parent. How do you feel if your child would forget your birthday? What about when a child throws a fit about family time or family plans?

I have a policy. Now, I fully accept that with the kids growing up and getting seriously involved/engaged/ married - you have to share your kids with the other family. And 2 of mine work or have significant others who work and you know that you can't change a work schedule to suit your wants. So in those two situations, then those type things are excused - of course.

But now, should one of my kids chose to party, play, ignore the family during any of those situations. Then not only do they get to deal with my displeasure (and I am seriously not fun when I get peed off) then whatever plans we had... We not only go ahead with whomever is around/home/there - and they don't get any of the goodies that might go with that holiday. And yes, I am that mean. I don't save dinner for them. Candy, presents, goodies - forfeited. Because my thought is - that if they chose to not be a part of the family for that time then they don't want the goodies/privileges that go with that either. And if none of them want to be home- then I just cancel the holiday. Saves me the hassle of cooking or shopping doesn't it? Does that mean that I won't give myself a treat for that day? Nope - not at all. And I will do something special for anyone who cares enough to be here.

We... are not doing anything as a family for Easter this year. Ice Cube and Ruth - working. Donna - working. Hurricane - vehicle and money issues again. Kristi and Little Man - wanted to party and took off for Old Town at midnight last night. They made the choice totally disregarding the holiday and the list of things that I have to have done before I can go back later this month. As I am now having to work on things by myself with only B for help - there will be much less accomplished this weekend than I had hoped. A reader commented the other day that my kids were being selfish. All I can say to that is: That's kids. I guarantee that I wasn't thinking of my mom when I was 17 or 20 either (although by 25, I had 2 kids and was pregnant with a 3rd - so I had a lot more respect for my mom than my kids do for me by then). Kids are infants, go thru the terrible 2-3's, become fun and basically human for several years, and then turn into teens and become more self centered than the worst 2 year old. If you're lucky, you live long enough as a parent to see them turn human again. Some parents are blessed with teens who's inconsideration extends to failing to pick up after themselves or leaving messes that "I don't know" and "not me" get blamed for. Some parents get blessed with the ones with big mouths that think the rules don't pertain to them. Since I wasn't smart enough to quit before 5, I got a mixture of all of the above.

Little Man's current "threat" is that he is going to "move out the day" he turns 18. This from a kid who hasn't graduated, doesn't have a job, and hasn't even made a single car payment on the car he's driving. He can't afford car repairs, gas or insurance on the car. Would have no way to pay for the phone that he spends 11 thousand texts a month playing on. Couldn't afford to pay for an apartment or food, let alone utilities. Now... how is he going to move out? The car isn't his so he can't even sleep in it. I would think some things like a diploma and a job might be necessities if he were serious about moving out. But hey- that's just me. I had a job from the time I turned 16. Graduated and moved out at 19. Worked and payed for my own place since then including supporting kids and a husband. Went to college while working and paying for an apartment. And yet... in my children's eyes. I am stupid. Too old to know. So I sit back and laugh while they make mistake after mistake choosing to learn their lessons the hard way.

Well, off here. I have painting still to do and a floor to start putting down. If I can get the painting done this morning, I can start laying floor this afternoon. B told me not to worry, that he'd help. And I'm sure he will. He shows more responsibility than several of his older siblings. And he said he'd dig the holes for the 2 plum trees that I picked up yesterday so I didn't have to do that. And yes, I will be careful and try not to over-do. I can't promise I won't over-do because I have so much to accomplish. But I'm not trying to rush it to get back for a week now. If I only get in for a day for the wedding or even if I miss the wedding, that will be fine with me. Ice Cube and Ruth will either let me take Elmer for a few days or bring him down to see me if I can't make it in. I'm not real worried about it. What concerns me much more at this point is getting my house done. And unlike the kids who can take off without any care or concern for anything other than themselves, I can't just leave these animals without someone to take care of them. Both Kristi and LM wanted to keep a kitten from the litter the stray I took in just had. (and she will be fixed as soon as she's done nursing - we couldn't tell if she'd been fixed before or not). With them taking off without taking care of their responsibilities last night (I'm talking changing clothes and not even putting their dirty stuff in the hamper just leaving it on bedroom floors- leaving their drinks sitting where they were when they cooked up this irresponsible idea - LM even left a wet towel on his floor - dishwasher not unloaded - counters not wiped down - all the chores that they're supposed to do basically undone) - they are not keeping a kitten. Its just one more thing that I would have to take care of. And I have enough to take care of believe me. Neither one of them showed the maturity necessary to be a pet owner with the way the left last night. Just total - I want to do this and I'm gone. Had they completed their chores, taken care of the mama cat we already had to make sure that she had food and water, left at a decent time instead of midnight - then that would be one thing. And I know a bunch of my readers are cat people - I am not. I take care of the cat we have because I felt sorry for when some idiot threw her out of a car and left her to starve. She was scrawny when we started feeding her. And speaking of the cat- she's obviously out of food or water because she's standing at the foot of my recliner whining so ... that's first on my to-do list today.

Happy Easter all! And B and I - we will have a good Easter. We'll do something special for the day. He'll get some Easter candy. And maybe we'll go out to dinner or have something that the 2 of us like. I'll talk to him about it today.