Fun times in the life....

So yesterday, yet another productive day. It didn't start out so well, I guess the heating element in our dryer went out because that baby isn't getting hot any more. Now, that sounds pretty bad right? But B helped me hang out laundry yesterday. Kristi pulled it down off the line once she woke up. Kristi and Little Man both offered to help come up with the money for a new dryer. I feel loved!

So, then this morning, my brother - my real 1/2 brother - talked to me on IM. A real conversation and sharing of information. Now, both my 1/2 brothers that I found on that social networking site have added me to their pages. And we've traded a few short emails back and forth. But today is my brothers 36th birthday. And I actually got to talk to him and wish him a happy birthday! The first one I've ever even known he existed. I love it!

As to the work gotten done yesterday. B and I ran to the feed store. We picked up some chicken feed. Then we ran over to the store and got the essentials. You know- bread, milk and more mayo type stuff. We're getting eggs in a good quantity now days and now it comes in to how to use them all before they go bad. Guess we'll be eating lots of egg salad and tuna salad and scrambled and deviled eggs. ;) Little man got the rest of the closet ready to put the carpeting in today and took the measurements so we knew what size piece of carpet to cut. Kristi ran the vacuum and did the counters. She also helped me pull the toilet apart in the bathroom. We ended up replacing all of the innards in the toilet. This is not a bad thing though now. There was a ton of rust in there. It's all gone now. We changed out all the rusty bolts and the gaskets. No more leaking any place in my bathroom. Only one more faucet left to change out in there and that's in my garden tub. I treated the whole bathroom with the mold killer and preventer again. Then this morning I put the other treatment stuff on the floor. First coat. When/If it dries- I'll put the 2nd coat on. Hopefully today.

B's rotator cuff is apparently torn again. He can't raise his arm and he is in pain. I'm trying to find him a doctor to treat it and not having a whole lot of success.

So, there was a whole lot of fun last night at Kristi's work. To read what Tom and crew have been up to yet again and about the harassment charges that are being considered as well as the restraining order that we're talking about - read HERE.

its a rainy friday

Yesterday was such a productive day! We got a lot done and I'm very thankful to the kids for the work they did. Little Man was my motivated one yesterday. He got most of the front yard done and helped out in several little projects around the house. I did the touch up paint on 2 of the 3 colors in the bathroom and got rid of all the paint from where it didn't belong. Now, I just need the boys to finish up the flooring. I need to get new handles for the bathroom cabinets and a new toilet seat. But none of that is really a big deal. Its more so that the bathroom is all matchy cutey than because the old ones are gone. I just don't like the way they look with the new paint job.

So, Kristi has been waiting for her disbursement from her schooling. This is money that they basically give her for going to school. She was in shock yesterday when she found out that all the money had been disbursed for the year already and that she didn't have any coming. She jumped in the shower and asked me to run her into town to look for one. That little thing called lack of cigarettes is a powerful motivator. Stop one - they told her that the guy who does the hiring wouldn't be in till today but to call him today. Stop two- they hired her on the spot. She started last night. Now, I'm happy for her with this on so very many levels. To start with, her self confidence took one devil of a beating in the 3 years that she was with Tom. He beat her down to where she thinks that she can't do better than him. She was a pale imitation of the child that started dating that jerk years ago. We have all been working so very hard to bring her back up again. Every time she does something for herself- it brings her up in her self esteem. For another, she will meet new people and make new friends and that will be good for her too. Tom didn't let her have friends. The only people he didn't run off was his family. He is such a jerk that no one else could stand to be around him. And where she's working - she's bound to meet guys. And I can't imagine anyone worse than what she had so... short of bringing home a serial killer- she's gonna move up. And when she called me last night- she was bubbling over. She had already made a friend. They were going out and she wasn't coming home till this morning. I hope she had a great time!

Me? I'm moving right along with what I want to accomplish around here. I've taken a few pictures and I'll post the before and after as soon as I finish it up. Just the bathroom and bedroom so far. I finished up the paint job in the bathroom totally yesterday with the last little bit of touch up. I'm trying to put things back in the room. Get rid of some of the clutter that accumulated in there when we moved. Today I finally get to move my special things from my kids and my pictures back into my room. Now all I need to do is save the money to get new curtains and a bed set. ;) And then on to the next room. Something new to work on every day. And only 4 weeks to get it all done.

So, yesterday Cousin Josh called LM to see if he could come stay here for a day or two. LM told him that Kristi had found a job at stop 2 and that he might have found a new job yesterday. Josh has been looking for a job living at Tami's house for over a month and no such luck. Of course, the way he presents himself when looking for a job might have something to do with that. So, if you remember, I mentioned that something wasn't right with Tami. That after I cut her off, she started texting LM which was something I find inappropriate. If they had had that type of relationship before I cut her off- that would be one thing. But they didn't. This is a woman who never recognized their birthdays or christmas or came to see them when they were in the hospital even though she lived nearby. So, Josh tells LM that all week Tina has been racking him in his privates. And he just needs to get out of there for a bit. So, an hour later- he calls back and supposedly Tina has kicked him out. And LM bugged me and bugged me to let Josh come here. So, about the time LM was going to go pick Josh up and take him to big town to his dad's house, all of a sudden Josh texts him and tells him never mind. Well, I told LM - "Tina found out Josh was coming here and it ate her up till she stopped it from happening". And I think LM is finally starting to see thru it all because he told me "Yeah, I know mom". Then he told me that Tina tried to text him and ask him if he was going to pick Josh up. Then he told me that he didn't bother to answer. Good for him! I hope he sees thru her!

Well, off here to finish up the touch up painting in the bathroom and put all my pretties up in the bedroom. The I need to get the boys to lay the last little bit of flooring and those two rooms will be done. Wish me luck that I get it done today!

random updates

Good morning all! Please don't forget that if you start seeing someone from embarqhsd.net on your site meter from Killeen, TX - that is our good friend Tom and family. Tom has, of course, moved back home with his mom and so you may see more than 1 hit a day from that IP as there are multiple people from that house that have no life and therefor have to live thru mine.

I was asked yesterday: What happens now with the doc? Well, they wanted me to get this test done today but as I felt the need to get home and didn't want to stay another couple days I'm going back next month and getting it done. They are going to stick this big ugly needle in my knee and make me miserable while they look to see where all this dye goes that its not supposed to. I bet you just can't imagine why I would put that off a week or 5 can you? Personally, I could pass on that whole idea. I'm thinking... big needle = pain. I don't much care what they do to me when I'm asleep but awake... That's a whole different story! After that, later that afternoon, I will get to see my brilliant doc. He will give me the option of this or that. Troy wanted me to get the test done immediately because - well, he couldn't figure out how I'm still walking. I told him: "one step at a time of course" ;) Is there another way to do it? Depending on how bad it looks when they get the dye study back, they may be able to go in there and clean it up some more, put a fake padding type thing in there, or we may be at the point where they have to try and replace the knee and start turning me bionic. The doc wanted to avoid that as long as possible because of how young I am. I hear that those bionic knees have a limited life expectancy and the doc really didn't want to have to put more than 1 in because the ligament and tendon issues that caused the original bones to get like this will make his job "interesting" (yeah - that's the word he used. Makes me feel real confident about this surgery...yep it does) My back problem - disease acting up. Will it happen again? Oh most likely. I could sneeze and have it do it again. My opinion on that? It can just shut up and leave me alone while I live my life. I've got things to do.

Kristi and Tom? Oh, he's Mr. Manipulative. Tuesday night- he denied everything about OK and called Little Man a liar. Yesterday, his "AA and counselor said he has to own up to his mistakes to be able to move on". Of course, he hasn't gone to AA by his own admission so that part of it was total BS. Oh yea, part of the 12 steps is to own up to those who you have wronged. But do I think he had an awakening in less than 24 hours? Not a chance. It's all part of his games. He admits that he wasn't a good husband. We all know that he destroyed the last 3 years of her life. He claims to love her. Claims that we all know are false. See, here's the truth of the matter. He knows that he's ripping her apart. He knows that all the issues between he and her brothers- his fault. He abused children. LM - 15 at the time. Ice Cube- 16 at the time. B - was 12 when all this started and he had to be subjected to the drinking and the screaming and cussing and get drug out at midnight to go rescue his brother from a safe house over 100 miles from home. I've discussed how that affected LM before. Tom did admit that he was abusing Kristi that night and that LM was doing nothing more than standing up for his sister. He, of course, denied threatening to kill LM. A denial that I don't believe. He knows that the damage done between himself and her brothers - permanent. That there is no turning back the clock. That his abuse and drinking destroyed any chance of him ever being accepted by them. Yet, he still keeps tearing her apart trying to get her to go back to him and lose her family. Her brothers have told her that they're done with her if she goes back. Tom cost her 3 years of her brother's lives. She doesn't want to lose watching her nephew (and the nieces and nephews to come) grow up too. She's stated that. If Tom loved her- he'd let her go. Quit tearing her apart. He won't. Proves that he doesn't. Words are cheap. His actions show the truth just like all the times in the past.

The boys? Doing good. Schooling - going good. They've been hanging out at the house joking around and helping out. As soon as I get a chance to get into the big town near by, I need to pick up a few things to finish up stuff around here and then I've got some fun for them to play with. ;) Don't know how much fun they'll consider it all but... they'll get physical education out of it.

The chickens started laying eggs. We got almost a dozen yesterday. There were 8 out there in the morning and then 2 more when I went to put them up. Unfortunately, that means they're probably laying during the day and we're losing some because they're laying them around the yard. I need to work on that problem too. But what I need to get to fix it- once again in the larger town and I need to go make a trip there which is an undertaking that I'm not ready for just yet. Oh for a good laugh this morning.... I hard boiled some of the fresh eggs last night for the salad for dinner. B looks at us and says: "What do these eggs taste like?" Kristi answers him "eggs". And we all laughed at him. He just wasn't sure about this all. It was hilarious. I think he was afraid that they were going to taste different or something.

Off to the races. I have one cabinet in the bathroom left to paint. Then I have a little bit of touch up to do. Then we lay the rest of the floor. We are so close to having those 2 rooms completed. AC guy will be here today to take care of cleaning out the ducts and the AC guy knows a guy who will come take care of the insulation under the house. I really want to have it all completed before I go in for surgery. Keep smiling all!

edited to add: I sit here now biting my tongue in half as my daughter is in tears while Mr Abusive Tom tears her down further. She told him her brothers will never accept him (an absolute truth) and that she can't lose them. He steadily manipulates and makes her cry while jerking her chain (and yes I know she needs to just change the number - not call him and make a clean break!) but like I said- if he loved her like he steadily lies and claims- he wouldn't do this to her. People live thru divorce. They live thru the loss of their children. Tom has done both. Its a shame that he doesn't spend as much time and effort in trying to become a parent to his children as he does making my daughters life hell. The more he hurts her - the more certain it becomes that 1. he has not changed and 2. we will never accept him. And folks, don't take this wrong but we live in prejudice town USA in the south - my boys would accept her dating a black man and deal with all the talk and embarrassment of that sooner than they would accept Tom.

Welcome to Amy's world of crazy

I'm going to have a hard time writing this update. Let me start out by saying that the doc's visit was fun. Cathy is a blast. We have a great time together. And Troy, the doc's assistant, is great. He thinks we're funny when we're making jokes about my condition. When they came in with the 4 page results of my MRI, we were joking that "the longer the better right?" Yeah- the longer the report - the more they found wrong. That's just me and Cathy keeps me laughing even when it's bad news. And today- bad news. They did xrays. The knee has degenerated to the point that you no longer need an MRI to see the damage. It's visible on the xray. The cute little puffy stuff that's supposed to cushion the leg bones from each other and be the shock absorber in your knee- mine is gone. They said that I was stage 3 on one side- stage 4 on the other. I, being the smart ass that I am, said "that's good right". Ummm no. It doesn't get any worse. That's as bad as it gets. I'm just bone on bone. So, with every step I take, I do more damage in there. So, now, I get to go in my next trip and get this big ole needle stuck in my knee so that they can shoot it up with some dye stuff and find out where the leak is. I tried to tell them that I wasn't leaking anything out of my knee but Troy wasn't buying it. He did suggest that I not walk on any uneven ground and that I kept something handy to help me out with that little walking idea. So, how do y'all think I'll look sporting a cane? What do you think? Something nice and chic like a skull head? So, here's the bad part of the cane idea. They disease has moved into my left elbow type area too. So, I've already had to have both wrists worked on. Now we're looking at the elbow idea. OK, so what happens when I can't walk without a cane or crutches but my arms won't support my weight? Y'all are welcome to try to figure that one out - I think I'll skip worrying about that idea right now. Can't change it, it hasn't happened yet, and I have faith that Dr MK will keep me mobile. A friend last night told me that I'd just turn into the bionic woman. That works for me too.

So then I came home, and Kristi was talking to Tom. Apparently, she got lonely and melancholy while I was gone. And she gave in and called him. Cause see, no matter what her head knows - her heart misses being married. As she explains it- it's not the drinking and the fighting she misses. Its not what their marriage turned into that she misses. It's the crawling into bed with someone at night and having someone hold her. It's in the middle of the night when she feels alone. And Tom - he tells her everything she wants to hear. He told her that he changed. That she could still see her family and he wouldn't interfere. And I reminded her how many times we had heard that before. Every time she's left him its been the same thing. Every time this has come to a head - he's told her the same thing. And he talks a good talk. He tells her that he wants her to have a relationship with us but his every action makes sure that we won't let him around and then he forces the "Kristi is his wife and we have to deal with him". I can't get on that train again. Kristi asked me if I would still talk to her. Well, I'm not going to not answer the phone when she calls. I always have answered. But - the closeness we've shared these last few weeks - would be destroyed. She said she'd call me when he wasn't around because not one time have we ever been able to have a conversation with him around that he hasn't sat in the background running off at the mouth till we hang up just so we don't have to listen to him. And I wouldn't call her. In all actuality, when she's with him - I dread even answering the phone. You never know if its going to be him calling from her phone or her calling because he "wants to talk to you about this or that mom". Because he pushes and pushes until he pushes us away. So, why jump back on that merry-go-round? And then her brothers jumped in with their 2 cents. And that's what turned the corner. Remember when I said that for all their fighting amongst themselves, they are very clannish? Yeah, well all 4 boys were definitely on the same page in this one. Ice Cube told her that if she went back to Tom, then she wouldn't see him, Ruth or Elmer anymore. That he loved her but that they had always been there for her and going back to someone who had blacked her eyes and bloodied her face was a slap in the face to that love. I don't know what all Hurricane said to her. But he was more the voice of reason I think. Little Man was unhappy to say the least. He told her no- she couldn't go back to Tom and end up dead. Whatever talking that they've done since she's been here has some special meaning to them because he kept telling her remember? Remember what you told me? And folks- I didn't ask. I don't know what she told him that she hasn't told me. He was there in OK that night. He saw the abuse that she suffered that night first hand. Cause that's why Tom went after LM that night. For standing up to his sister. Following some conversations with her brothers, Tom called in yet again. (yea, so much for changing the number right? She ended up letting him have it. Now, she says she's going to change it yet again next week when she renews her card.) She told Tom that she couldn't do it. That if it were "right then it wouldn't be like this". I guess his family was no more happy with the idea of them getting back together than our family was because I heard him yelling something at Kristi about how he'd been arguing with them for the last hour over ... (she walked further than 10 feet away and I could only hear yelling and not make out actual words). Of course, after she told him that she couldn't lose her family over him again - he started screaming again. She ended up telling him that she couldn't do it right now and hanging up. Of course, then his family had to start jumping in. Bonnie called. Kristi just stopped answering the phone again. So, then Bonnie has to leave messages. Which Kristi didn't listen to. She can't. And part of this would have never happened if Tom had just left her alone. Instead of stalking her online. Sending her email after email after email. All of them full of how much he had changed. All of them playing up to what she wanted to hear. If he had changed his number when she changed hers. But no- she deleted his number. He sent her emails with the number asking her to call him. His sisters girlfriend called it right when she said that they were toxic. She compared their relationship to combining bleach and ammonia. And she was right. They're bad for each other. But Kristi is going to do what she'll do. But Tom - not welcome here. Ever. And the rest of us - not going to forgive Tom for all the abuse.

On other notes... I am so very glad to be home. I missed being here so much! I need to have this chance to regroup. To get my head together and take care of things around here before going to do battle with my body again. I have to have my head right. I have to get my support system ready and lined up. I don't want to go into surgery worry about anything or with things not all done. So, the kids and I have a lot of tail kicking to do in the next few weeks. I have a lot of things to finish up before I can be off my feet for a while. And that includes making sure that all the kids lessons are ready to go and they can keep going on their schooling on those days that I am not quite up to par. So, off here to start some of that proverbial tail kicking. I told the boys that they could have today to sleep in and then tomorrow- it's off to the races. I'm going to pick up the new bar for the chain saw and they have some tree work to take care of. We're also going to get this flooring in. Totally and completely done. All the stuff that needs to be completed for the insurance- needs to be done. As well as fixing the things around here like the chicken coop that need to be done before I can be done. I told the boys. I warned them that today was their last day of sleeping in before we got going. And that we were going to hit the books hard and heavy too. So, they are warned. I'll try to keep y'all updated as we go. Surgery scheduled? Not yet. They need this dye study before we can see where to go next.

I'm in a good frame of mind. I'm going to relax today. Take care of the laundry and some organizational things while I let the boys sleep in. And I'm going to relax a bit today too before I get active tomorrow. And yes, I am going to leave the heavy stuff for the kids and be careful of my back. Thanks!

From the womb?

Kristi and Hurricane are 1 week shy of 3 years apart. Hurricane and Ice Cube are a few months shy of 3 years apart. Little Man and B are a few months shy of 3 years apart. Then we have Little Man and Ice Cube. They are 18 months apart. To the day. Did I plan this? Not a snowballs chance in the hotter lower regions! In all honesty, I am one of the .1 % of women that can get pregnant on any given birth control. Now, 3 years apart in age - worked great! One was out of diapers before the next ones needing them. They're more independent. They want less attention from you. At 3 - its "I do it". Ice Cube and Little Man - they were at each others throats from birth. The first picture I have of the 4 kids together was for Christmas that year. Little Man (who is about 4 months old at the time) was grabbing a nice handful of IC's hair. It has never gotten better in the 17 years that have followed. Of course, I imagine that they couldn't have been any further apart personality wise if they had no shared DNA at all.

Before IC turned 4, he had gotten 2 sets of stitches in his head courtesy of LM. Once when he was trying to steal food off LM's plate, LM stabbed him in the head with a fork. Yes he did. Left the fork standing straight out of his brothers head. I kid you not folks. We didn't give LM a fork to eat with for many a year after that. Made him eat with a spoon. When the kids went to my mom's house for dinner one time, my mom set the table and IC told her. "no no gamma. LM don get no fok." It wasn't long after that that the kids were in the back yard playing - all 4 of them with a 6 ft privacy fence guys - and they got into it over a toy and LM picked up a 6" gate hinge and hit IC in the head with it. Back to the hospital for more stitches we went. Now, after that- either IC got smart and made sure there was nothing for LM to hit him with around when he instigated. Or LM got tired of not being allowed to play out of mom's arms reach because of him hitting people. Do not think that IC was Mr Innocent in all this. He wasn't. Were LM's reactions over the top and unacceptable. Yea but he was 2 and 3.

Last night, LM was hanging out at brothers house with oh so good friend, Casy. (and please read that with all the sarcasm intended). Casy was in a bad mood because he was fighting with his mom. Somehow, the 3 of them got mouthing back and forth because don't you know the testosterone was a flowing and couldn't any of them keep their mouths shut. By the time all was said and done, my 2 had gotten into it. LM was in his car with no gas and no money because he went down to old town on Casy's dime at Casy's invitation and Casy was supposed to put the money in his car for him to come home today. And yes, I spoke to Casy directly about this before the 2 left here. I laid into both of mine and Casy isn't free from the wrath of Amy yet by any stretch of anyone's imagination. LM - now with Hurricane. We will get him gas money today to come home on. He has said he won't go back now for the wedding. Not much of a surprise there.

I am cutting this visit short. Between the issues with my back and things I need to do here at the house, I am tired. I am not much in the mood for a visit right now. And weddings aren't really my thing. I am so worried about my back going out again, I'm scared to breathe. I'm not really thrilled about leaving town right now but I did make the commitment. My hermit tendencies are in full control right now and they are yelling at me to just stay home and close to the couch. However, if they win this battle, then its easier to let them win the next one too.

And if they win enough battles, then eventually they'll win the war. And I'm not willing to let that happen. See, if I had my way - I'd stay home 24/7/365. I'd much rather be a hermit and not deal with any people outside my little electronic devices. Keeps the demons in my imagination at bay. But I long ago learned, that if I let them gain ground - they don't give it back. For every little bit of freedom I've lost over the years, they make me fight twice as hard to get back that inch as I fought to keep it. So it's easier to fight the little battles - to keep what's mine. And so I'm going. But to preserve my back- I'm making it a shorter trip. Because I don't think Elmer will understand if grandma can't pick him up and swing him around like usual.

Well, off here to start lists for the ins company. They needs lists of the damages to my personal property. That and I have to get some money into LM's account so he can get home today. Keep smiling all!

A Breakthrough?

So, I got a text from my Little Man tonight. He wanted to know when I wanted him home. Step one accomplished. So, I called his phone. And we talked. Or I talked, he didn't hang up and he cried. Hate to gang up on the poor kid but that is exactly what we did. Hurricane talked. Ice Cube talked. I talked and we all said the same thing. Now, did he try to pull a woe is me act? He started to try it on me. I cut it off at the pass. Did he try to twist things to make me feel badly for him? I don't play that game either. It was time to play hard ball and that is what we did. Does he feel ganged up on? Yes he did. And I told him we did it for a reason. I told him that his brothers were not going to help him make the mistakes that they did - that they want better for him and that we were all going to take a hard line with him until it got thru his head. And then he tried the "yea I know I'm an F up". And I said - no - not yet but you're trying to go there and we're going to do our best to stop it before you accomplish making a mistake that really does mess up your life. And then I started laying down the law. That this was how things were going to go and this was what he was going to do. And that he had some thinking to do. He thinks that we can't afford college. Well, there are a lot of things that I can't afford. But, college is one of those things that he will be able to go to. It is one of those things that is manageable. I also got on him for hanging out with his Aunt Tami and his cousins. Told him that his attitude and behavior had changed/gotten worse with that association and that either he needed to do a major adjustment in that area or stay away from them.

He was also having some trouble dealing with his sister coming back. Part of this was normal sibling jealousy. Part of this is issues dealing back to that fateful trip to OK and Tom's abuse of him on that trip. Some of this he will have to work thru with Kristi. See, I can't rebuild those trust issues that were destroyed between the two of them that horrible weekend. I can't take that weekend away and neither can Kristi. It happened. Its a part of their history. Something horrible that they went thru together and handled in totally separate ways. LM was stronger than Kristi that horrible night and he payed for it later. After Tom chased him around and around the yard with a knife threatening to kill him (*** this is LM's story which has never changed from the get go. Tom has told 15 different versions of different stories of that night to many different people. Never the same story twice to anyone that I have compared notes with and not even the same story twice to me. Kristi backs up many parts to LM's side of the story when she's not around Tom but that night - backed up Tom's side of the story to the police to keep Tom from jail ... and save herself from the tail kicking that would have occurred later had she gone against him***) the police had to take my poor LM to a safe house to protect him from Tom until I could get there to pick him up. Part of this, LM needs to understand that had Kristi backed him up with the police, Tom would have been out of jail before I could get there and they both would have payed an even higher price. I don't doubt this one bit. The one time my ex got arrested for domestic violence, he was out of jail before I was out of the hospital. Kristi remembers this well as I had the kids at the hospital with me. Part of this, Kristi needs to understand that she is going to have to show LM with actions that she has changed/learned from the past. She wants to talk to him about it. She has tried to talk with him about it. It's an actions thing. Not a talking thing. There was a vital core of trust broken in their relationship that night. It took actions to break it - it will take actions and time to fix it. There is a report filed from that night. I know Tom hopes that his ex-wife never hears about it or some of the other things because then they would cancel even his supervised visits with the kids. That might blow his lies with his new girlfriend. I can't believe that she allows him around her kids with his history of violence at/around children. I suppose that's something she'll have to learn the hard way just as his ex did and just as Kristi did. Anywho ~ those issues, while something that I can talk to both Kristi and LM about, are something that they are going to have to work on between the two of them. And it will take time. Just as it is taking time for her to work thru things with Hurricane.

Accident update: I am up and moving. Slowly. Very slowly. I worry about every move I make afraid that I will do something to mess my back up again. I have never been this afraid to move, to bend, to try to lift anything. I know in time that the memory of that pain will fade and then I'll do something stupid again but for now... it keeps me careful. ;) Kristi and I cleaned out the chicken pen today. Well, mostly she cleaned and I pretended to help but I did enough to not feel totally worthless. And to know that I am on the mend. We worked in the bathroom yesterday working on the painting. She did a 2nd coat last night at a time when I was totally unable to do any of it. I'm going to go in there in a bit and do some of the touch up work. Nothing over my head. No stretching or bending. I pay very careful attention to what's going on with my back at this point and time.

Wish me luck....

Nuts or Brain Dead?

People have really lost their minds in the world around me recently. Either they have gone stone cold brain dead or just flat out nuts.

For one, Little Man thinks that he can move out now. He will be 18 in 3 months. Now, by TX law, he can move out actually. Once your child turns 17 in this state, the police will not force them back home. Which is garbage because the parents are still financially responsible for them. So, they won't make them come home. Can't make them listen. But you still get to pay for them. Ha! Not! They will also be charged as an adult for any crime that they commit. So, while I was back in town for the last wedding, LM either quit or got fired from his job. And he has chosen to not look for another one. Now, he has his car insurance paid up thru May. After that, I'm removing the car from my insurance. And it will be parked. So, then he hits me up with, he wants to move back to old town. And he wants to do it now. But, he wants me to keep paying for his cell phone and part of his car ins while he does it. Can you say.... BWAHAHAHAA Not gonna happen. Not in this lifetime or the next. I told him that if he was grown enough to move out- he was grown enough to pay his own bills. Now, honestly- I might continue to pay for his phone for the few months that are left on the contract. Only because the cost of terminating the contract is more than paying for the monthly service. But car insurance? Never. And like I told him, his car insurance is going to go up majorly in price. He has an accident and a speeding ticket and drives a camaro. I have a perfect driving record and almost 30 years experience while he is a teenage boy. Removing him from my policy will save me about $50/month. It will cost him about an extra $100/month. Additionally, if he's not residing with me, I legally can't have him on my car insurance. They frown on things like that. And I'm not nice like that. Now, if he had finished his schooling, was going off to the military, going off to college, doing right- any of those circumstances would change things. But the way he's going/acting- I'm all for letting him learn the hard way. Yes, I am a mean one. But really, they can either learn now or learn later and better to learn from me than the police.

For another, Tom and his family had gone away for several days. I had delusions of the fools finding a life and not being obsessed with me and my life anymore. No such luck. It wasn't that they grew up or got a life. It was Tom's sisters birthday this past weekend and they had a drunken fest of a weekend. Yeah - so much for his lies about how he quit drinking right? It's ok. We never believed them anyhow. ;) So, last night, they got on my blog and did a search for all blogs relating to Kristi. Yes! I'm serious! Can you say pathetic losers?

So then, my old neighbor called me today. She keeps wondering when I'm coming in for her son's wedding. Well, right now- I don't know. I don't know that I can make it in for the wedding. And its so nice to be wanted. It really is. But that is a long time in the car - sitting up- when I haven't been doing too well at that the last few days. And then - will I be able to drive it? Because I'm not all too sure about making that trip right now. So, Hurricane offered to come get me. As sweet as that is- climbing in and out of his truck- not a good idea. The bouncing and bumping of riding in his truck- not a good idea either. And then, I would be down there and vehicle-less- which is also something that I'm not thrilled with. So, either I will make it down there under my own power- or not make the trip right now. Now, my neighbor is all - "oh don't worry, you'll be up and fine by tomorrow" But so far- not even close. Yes, I get a bit better every day. Yes, I am up and doing a bit more every day. But 3 hours in a car? I just don't know about that one yet....

Well, time to see what trouble I can get in to. I did start a load of laundry today. Yeah me! I also ditched the leftovers out of the fridge. Kristi has been doing the loading and unloading of the dishwasher. I still hurt to even breathe. Seriously. It hurts to take a breath. It hurts from my back thru to my ribs. Irritating as all get out. Y'all take care and have a great day!

Sunday special

Good morning all! I am up and feeling a bit more human today. I was running a fever last night on top of the other things. Almost 102. I called Vix and asked her where that would have come from because I didn't feel sick. Only in pain. She told me that the fever could be a reaction to all the misery that my body has gone thru. The fever is gone this morning so far. I have done nothing but sleep it seems since I got home from the hospital. I get online and start talking to one of my friends and drift off in the middle of a conversation. Kristi and B have stepped up and kept things going while I have been flat on my back sleeping.

I have so very much to do around here. I keep looking at all the materials laying around that I should be up and working with. I get so frustrated with my inability to get up and get going on it. And the mess of having sheets of drywall and boxes of flooring in my dining room is driving me nuts. ;) So is having my bedroom floor down to only needing one line of flooring to lay and being unable to get in there to do it. The skirting for the house was delivered the day I went to the hospital- its still sitting outside. Not that I was going to install that anyhow but still. I need to get the guy over here to get it done at least.

Well, sorry for the short post, I am drifting back off. I just can't seem to get my energy back. And I already had so much to do and so little time to get it done in. I need this to go away quickly so that I can get some stuff done before I go back to old town for the next wedding. I'm supposed to have a wedding a week from today. An appointment with my orthopedic surgeon on the Tues following the wedding. And then a mexican buffet couples shower from my other friend's son who is getting married in May. I may not stay in old town long enough to go to the shower though. I am so far behind here. Oh, and Vix and I have to go file suit against the home movers that moved this place while I'm in town. We have spent the last year trying to get this guy to make things right and he is still refusing. The mover guy did thousands of dollars of damage to the house and stuff in the house. We haven't even been able to afford to replace some of the things he broke. Kristi says that she's going to stay here while I'm gone and take care of the animals and stuff. She has no inclination to go back at this point and time. If she'd rather stay here and hang out and take care of the animals, that's fine with me. I can't believe that she'd rather stay here than go see her friends in old town but it works for me.

Well, y'all have a good day! I'm having the hardest time staying awake and that makes no sense. Its my back that got hurt. But yet, I haven't been able to stay up for more than an hour at a time since the injury. Someone please tell me what I can do to get over this faster so I can go back to working on my house!

Time to learn a lesson

For one - my children's antics cease to be amazing when they wake me up from a sound sleep. The amusement, the patience, the ability to tune it all out - fly right out the window. I go straight into downright aggravated with them in a heart beat. I know that my kids were taught these little things called respect and consideration. And waking people up in the middle of the night- well that's not showing either one of them. And let's go with the excuse - well it was really the dog that woke you up mama. Nope. Doesn't fly. See, if y'all weren't being so loud, the dog would be sleeping too. He whines when y'all are running in and out the front door laughing because he wants to go play with you. So, still your fault. Still you not being considerate or respectful.

Then, Tom had to rear his ugly head last night. And in this case- I blame Tara. Could she just ignore him? Could she just take the high road and tell him - too bad? No. She has to feed into his sick sense of stupidity. So, he contacts her and tells her that their divorce got kicked back. Proper response should have been: "Great. Ok. I'll see you in court. This way the judge can make a decision about all the stuff that I paid for and you're keeping." Plain and simple. End of discussion. But no. She decides to fall into his trap of whining about how he needs her. He has to speak to her. He can't do this and he just wants to be friends and get this worked out. And her dumb tail calls him. Why? Not. One. Good. Reason. It could have all been dealt with via email. And does Tom want to talk about the divorce? Of course not! Tom wants to talk about Guy A and Guy B. Tom wants to fight. Tom wants to argue about everything but the divorce. Tom doesn't want to be "friends". Tom wants control back. He's an abuser. A manipulator. And last night, she gave him a reaction. So she gave him what he wanted. She has got to get it through her head that the best way to get it thru his head that they're done is not to argue the point with him but to totally ignore his existence. She can see him in court and let the judge decide. She will be calling the court house here shortly to double check what he said last night because obviously he is untrustworthy.

Hurricane got a dose of Little Man's attitude last night. Hurricane called me this morning and he was a mighty unhappy camper. Little Man gave him a load of trouble last night. Blew him off this morning. And I was not a very sympathetic mommy type. See? As LM's attitude has gotten worse, I have discussed this with older siblings. I am the mean one because I've taken a hard line with him. They have listened and played into his poor me routine. Had we all joined in together months ago, we could have cut this off. Now, he's bound and determined to learn some lessons the hard way. I'm going to stand back and let him. Oh, I'll pick him up when he comes crashing to the ground. But I'm going to let him crash. Mr "I know it all" is going to learn a lesson.

A lot of parents want to protect their kids from all the hardships in life. And as a parent, I totally understand that need to protect your children from getting smacked down by life. But I believe in today's world, there is this need to build children up unrealistically. Kids used to have to do something to earn an award in school and in sports. Not today. Every child participates. A child doesn't show up for a practice one- he still gets to participate in games. Unfairly so too. Think about it. How fair is it to the other kids on the team who do show up for practices and work at the sport to lose playing time to a child who doesn't practice either at home or with the team? Or in school... A child might miss 20 days of school and be barely passing but at those end of school awards assemblies, not one child in the class is bypassed for some type of award. A friend of mine put her son in karate. She was bragging about the karate "tournament" that he won. A tournament that consisted of him being in one single match against one other child. That's not a "tournament". Should she have been proud of him for winning that match? Absolutely! But a tournament means you fight your way thru multiple kids in your age/belt group to get a winner out of the whole group. Here's what we have now. We have a whole generation of kids who think that they can never lose. They have been protected, coddled, and pandered to until they are totally unable to accept defeat or set backs in life. They think life should be "fair". And as any and every adult knows. Life is not fair. Never has been. Never will be.

There comes a time in life where you can over-protect your children. Where your goodness of heart in trying to protect them from their own mistakes keeps them from learning from those mistakes. Keeps them from growing as people and being able to make it in the world once they're out of your home. Unless we as parents want to keep them at home under lock and key until the day we die. And we all know that the time is going to come when it's time for our little birds to fly the nest. And it is our job as parents to make sure that our little birds can fly straight and free when that time comes. We need to teach them what they need to fly and then push them out of the nest. Let them fall when we're still in a position to be able to help them. Because one day, either we'll be gone or they'll be in a spot where we're unable to help. And we need to make sure that they have all the skills necessary to survive when that time comes. And some of those skills can only be learned by stumbling along the way. Now is Little Man's turn to stumble and learn a lesson or two.

I'm still here....

Me before the wedding

Kristi and Elmer before the wedding

With daddy at the hospital before surgery

So when the kids came home last night, they brought me a present. An almost 9 month old, crawling, breathing, sweet pea of fun. Of course, after the 3 hour drive home, he woke up when they got here and decided that it was play time. It was sometime after 4 before he allowed his old grandma the chance to go back to bed.

For those who have been wondering... Tara is Kristi. Kristi is Tara. She outed herself in the comments so I just went ahead and used her real name. Believe me it is much easier to not do the pseudonyms. Elmer is Little Bit. Little Bit is Elmer. I was trying to find a new name for him on the blog. When I asked for suggestions, the only one that came up was Ms Minnie's comment that I could call him Elmer he was so cute. Elmer stuck in my brain and so now the baby has become Elmer on here. He's cuter than Elmer Fudd though. Or I think so at least.

I did absolutely no work on my room today. It is just about ready to be put back together. We have one row of floor left to lay. And every piece has to be cut. I'm dreading it. And I only have the baby till Thursday so .... I may get to it tomorrow. Maybe. I had to go to the feed store today. The chickens needed layer pellets. I had to pick up a 5 gallon water jug for them. I have a couple of 1 gallon water jugs for them but its just not enough. And the warmer it gets here in the south, the more water they will need. Their house is in a nice shaded area under some trees to help keep it cool. I picked up new bedding for the pen. Their pen needs cleaned out and fresh hay put in the nesting boxes. Something else that will get done after Elmer comes home. I'm trying to figure out which one of the boys I can beg or bribe to shovel the old hay out. ;)

Things are quiet on the Kristi and Tom front. Tom has not bothered her since she hung up on him. Of course, she blocked him from every place that she could block him from and changed her number. She actually still has the old phone but hasn't bothered to turn it on since. That reminds me .... I need to remind her to check for messages on it from school. (gotta have her do that before I post this or there will be 90 messages from him on there which she won't read anyhow) She's been doing catch up on her homework. Her little trip back to old town with her brother messed her up on getting her assignments in. Oops. I'd feel bad for her but... I did warn them. I will admit, I feel like my relationship with Kristi is in a better place now than it's been in .... maybe ever. Tom taught her a lot of hard lessons. Some of those lessons helped her grow. She told me yesterday that she would prefer to stay here when I go back this month for the wedding. There's just nothing there for her anymore and I might be gone too long.

Well, I can finally start moving my stuff from the dining room back to my bedroom. Put my bed back where it goes. Drool over the thought of getting bed sheets that match my new room. I'm cleaning everything before it goes back to my room. And I have an itemized list to start for the insurance company for my personal items that were damaged in the flood.

Y'all have a great one!

irresponsible teens

So, what do you do with your kids when they decide that their friends are more important than being with family for a holiday? Or say they choose to ignore your parenting time to go with the other parent. How do you feel if your child would forget your birthday? What about when a child throws a fit about family time or family plans?

I have a policy. Now, I fully accept that with the kids growing up and getting seriously involved/engaged/ married - you have to share your kids with the other family. And 2 of mine work or have significant others who work and you know that you can't change a work schedule to suit your wants. So in those two situations, then those type things are excused - of course.

But now, should one of my kids chose to party, play, ignore the family during any of those situations. Then not only do they get to deal with my displeasure (and I am seriously not fun when I get peed off) then whatever plans we had... We not only go ahead with whomever is around/home/there - and they don't get any of the goodies that might go with that holiday. And yes, I am that mean. I don't save dinner for them. Candy, presents, goodies - forfeited. Because my thought is - that if they chose to not be a part of the family for that time then they don't want the goodies/privileges that go with that either. And if none of them want to be home- then I just cancel the holiday. Saves me the hassle of cooking or shopping doesn't it? Does that mean that I won't give myself a treat for that day? Nope - not at all. And I will do something special for anyone who cares enough to be here.

We... are not doing anything as a family for Easter this year. Ice Cube and Ruth - working. Donna - working. Hurricane - vehicle and money issues again. Kristi and Little Man - wanted to party and took off for Old Town at midnight last night. They made the choice totally disregarding the holiday and the list of things that I have to have done before I can go back later this month. As I am now having to work on things by myself with only B for help - there will be much less accomplished this weekend than I had hoped. A reader commented the other day that my kids were being selfish. All I can say to that is: That's kids. I guarantee that I wasn't thinking of my mom when I was 17 or 20 either (although by 25, I had 2 kids and was pregnant with a 3rd - so I had a lot more respect for my mom than my kids do for me by then). Kids are infants, go thru the terrible 2-3's, become fun and basically human for several years, and then turn into teens and become more self centered than the worst 2 year old. If you're lucky, you live long enough as a parent to see them turn human again. Some parents are blessed with teens who's inconsideration extends to failing to pick up after themselves or leaving messes that "I don't know" and "not me" get blamed for. Some parents get blessed with the ones with big mouths that think the rules don't pertain to them. Since I wasn't smart enough to quit before 5, I got a mixture of all of the above.

Little Man's current "threat" is that he is going to "move out the day" he turns 18. This from a kid who hasn't graduated, doesn't have a job, and hasn't even made a single car payment on the car he's driving. He can't afford car repairs, gas or insurance on the car. Would have no way to pay for the phone that he spends 11 thousand texts a month playing on. Couldn't afford to pay for an apartment or food, let alone utilities. Now... how is he going to move out? The car isn't his so he can't even sleep in it. I would think some things like a diploma and a job might be necessities if he were serious about moving out. But hey- that's just me. I had a job from the time I turned 16. Graduated and moved out at 19. Worked and payed for my own place since then including supporting kids and a husband. Went to college while working and paying for an apartment. And yet... in my children's eyes. I am stupid. Too old to know. So I sit back and laugh while they make mistake after mistake choosing to learn their lessons the hard way.

Well, off here. I have painting still to do and a floor to start putting down. If I can get the painting done this morning, I can start laying floor this afternoon. B told me not to worry, that he'd help. And I'm sure he will. He shows more responsibility than several of his older siblings. And he said he'd dig the holes for the 2 plum trees that I picked up yesterday so I didn't have to do that. And yes, I will be careful and try not to over-do. I can't promise I won't over-do because I have so much to accomplish. But I'm not trying to rush it to get back for a week now. If I only get in for a day for the wedding or even if I miss the wedding, that will be fine with me. Ice Cube and Ruth will either let me take Elmer for a few days or bring him down to see me if I can't make it in. I'm not real worried about it. What concerns me much more at this point is getting my house done. And unlike the kids who can take off without any care or concern for anything other than themselves, I can't just leave these animals without someone to take care of them. Both Kristi and LM wanted to keep a kitten from the litter the stray I took in just had. (and she will be fixed as soon as she's done nursing - we couldn't tell if she'd been fixed before or not). With them taking off without taking care of their responsibilities last night (I'm talking changing clothes and not even putting their dirty stuff in the hamper just leaving it on bedroom floors- leaving their drinks sitting where they were when they cooked up this irresponsible idea - LM even left a wet towel on his floor - dishwasher not unloaded - counters not wiped down - all the chores that they're supposed to do basically undone) - they are not keeping a kitten. Its just one more thing that I would have to take care of. And I have enough to take care of believe me. Neither one of them showed the maturity necessary to be a pet owner with the way the left last night. Just total - I want to do this and I'm gone. Had they completed their chores, taken care of the mama cat we already had to make sure that she had food and water, left at a decent time instead of midnight - then that would be one thing. And I know a bunch of my readers are cat people - I am not. I take care of the cat we have because I felt sorry for when some idiot threw her out of a car and left her to starve. She was scrawny when we started feeding her. And speaking of the cat- she's obviously out of food or water because she's standing at the foot of my recliner whining so ... that's first on my to-do list today.

Happy Easter all! And B and I - we will have a good Easter. We'll do something special for the day. He'll get some Easter candy. And maybe we'll go out to dinner or have something that the 2 of us like. I'll talk to him about it today.