the lesson I learned

I've mentioned Vix and Cal.  They are my bestest friends and the kids god-parents.  I have called Vix my "sister" for more years than I care to admit.  She and Cal are still so much in love.  Cal has MS.  Multiple Sclerosis. It's a rotten, horrid, awful disease that's eating his body little by little.  Vix takes extraordinary care of Cal.  Cal had acute onset MS.  He was in the military and doing some sort of exercises.  He got into a tank in southern TX heat.  He came out with MS.  MS is aggravated by heat.  The heat causes flair ups.  Now, if you think living in TX is not the best idea for Cal - rest assured that he is quite comfortable in the AC.  Vix is very careful with making sure that their house stays acceptably cool for him.  And the new house that's being designed is specially designed for staying comfortable.  They're building a dome house.  Most dome houses stay at around 72-75 degrees without using either heat or air.  At least the type they're building.  

Cal is much healthier than many people with his type of MS.  We are so very careful to not expose him to anything. A simple cold bug is dangerous to people with MS (like many other diseases).  I'd explain the whys of all this but I'm not that technical.  I will say that I believe the reason Cal is still doing as well as he does is because of the care that they take with his health.  And although the disease has done nasty things to his body- Cal has a brilliant mind. He's a MAC developer and some program he wrote is standard issue on all MAC computers now.  (like I said- I'm not a technical minded person).  

As well as Cal is doing considering his medical issues.  Helping him - I hate to say "taking care of him" - is a time consuming process.  He needs help getting in and out of bed.  There are days that he can't get out of bed.  Someone has to cook for him and make his plate.  He's at the point now where fine motor control is a struggle so he even needs help cutting up his food.  He needs help getting to the bathroom, getting his clothes, Vix gets him his medicine, makes him whatever he's hungry for, he has special drinks that need fixed- you name it and she does it.  And when he's have a bad day or a bad week - what suffers is the other stuff she has to do like housework.  And with the trip to Vegas- well, you know who had to do all the packing.  

So today, my friend and I went over there and cleaned house for her.  We did it as a special something for her.  Because she's always taking care of him.  (Cal does spoil her financially though and is very loving to her so you could say that he spoils her in his own way).  But my friend, who took care of their cats while they've been in Vegas, thought that this would be a nice thing to do for Vix.  Cal had been not very well before they went to Vegas and the house was in need of some tender, loving care.  My friend is a much nicer, caring person than I am and she comes up with these great ideas.  So, we went over and did a thorough clean on her kitchen for her.  We wiped down the cabinets, moved everything and did the floor, and totally bleached down her counters.  We also stripped down their bed, washed the sheets and remade it and ran the vacuum in the house.  We wanted to get to the bathrooms too but we ran out of time.  I did several loads of laundry while I was there and folded the laundry that she had in the dryer.  I say thank you to Mrs. JJ for coming up with the idea.  Thank you for reminding me that my sister is carrying a burden that I don't always recognize.  That as much as she loves Cal and as much as I don't see Cal as "disabled"- there IS a lot to taking care of someone with the medical issues that he has.  Mrs. JJ compared it to having a very large toddler.  Having known Cal for so long- I didn't see the "disability".  I see the person he is.  And I need to remember that Vix who is such an important person to me- does have those extra things to deal with when I go by there and the dishes aren't loaded.  I need to just pitch in and do them for her instead of just thinking that they need done.  

There's the lesson my friend taught me.  Sometimes we know people so well 0r don't know them well enough that we miss the things going on in their lives and don't even try to understand why things are the way they are.  We just judge.  I don't want to be like that.  I want to run with this lesson Mrs. JJ taught me and be a better person.  One that steps up and helps- not one that judges.  

Now, off to watch American Idol because like my blog friend, Kou - I'm addicted.  Sorry Kou!  Not meaning that in a bad way but I do love to watch that show and I know you do too.