Random updates

For starters, I managed to make all necessary arrangements to be able to leave town tomorrow. Little Man actually has a check coming that will cover the repairs and the big thing was seeing if we could borrow money till it got here. Thanks to Vix who graciously loaned me the majority of it so that we could pay the mechanic. Another thank you to our mechanic that we found when we moved here last year who has agreed to take a check for next week for the remainder of the money. He already has the car and told me to go be with my grand baby on Monday and he'd take care of the car. Really nice guy. Does great work and doesn't do unnecessary work. So many times over the years, I have run into unscrupulous repair folks who have thought that a single woman was fair game. Big mistake when it comes to me. I am not as dumb as most of these fools assumed. We also arranged rides from a couple of Little Man's friends for work and to go get his car when its done in case its not done today.

Today I will spend cleaning and packing because don't you know, never leave town with a dirty house. Little Man is hoping to have his car back and have a few days off work to come down and join us.

Tara is doing mostly fine. She has been hanging out with Pancho (friend of the family from old town) and her brother. While Little Man is at work, they have taken walks thru the property and gathered wood to have a bonfire last night. Tom alternates between begging her to come back and trying to make her jealous about the new girl he's seeing. She bites not at all. Almost like a switch in her turned off inside her. Her care switch. She seems more amused by his pathetic attempts at manipulation than anything else. She just wants to go on with her life. He claims that it's not him stalking either blog. He says that it's his mom, his sister, his sisters girlfriend. I don't really care which of the pathetic losers it is. They all need to get a life. Realize that she's done and we frankly don't care about any of them. His current story is that he is going to return all her stuff and she can sign the divorce papers when she goes to town. I'll believe it when I see it. I'm not holding my breath and neither is she.

Yesterday, someone from Washington named Caroline googled the word "circumcision" and found my blog. She felt obligated to tell me to do research before "letting" this happen. Now, had nothing else clued me in to the fact that she was a new reader- that would have in a large way. See? Anyone who reads my blog would know that I don't make those types of decisions for my kids. This is not "my child" we are talking about. It is my grandchild. And as such, it's my place to support the decisions made for him by his parents. The parents made their decision after months of thought and consulted with his pediatrician. All 4 of my boys are circumcised too.

Caroline thought that I wouldn't post her comment - she was wrong. But for any and all new readers, I am not my children's conscience. I am their parent. It is my job to guide them. To teach them to make decisions - not to make those decisions for them. I don't always agree with the decisions they make. And let me say - when my kids were little, I didn't let them make life altering decisions. We started small and easy with things like do you want the chicken or the cheeseburger? But all in all, be realistic. Your kids will eventually move out. They will eventually be adults who have to manage their own lives. Fact is- eventually, we won't be around to make decisions for our kids anymore and if you've never allowed them to make a choice or a mistake for themselves before, then what will they do when you're gone? I have a girlfriend who micromanages her kids lives. Her son is now going on 30, married and with kids and he still calls his mom to see if they should do A or B. Mom gets mad if she doesn't know every move that they make. Me? I request that they keep me informed out of politeness if they are going out of town. With Little Man and B - it is mandated. Common courtesy requires that they inform me of where they are and they have a curfew to follow. Even when B is with his brothers, he is required to call me and let me know if he leaves Ice Cube's house to go with even Hurricane. Failure to do so makes life very uncomfortable for him. I have finally impressed upon him the importance of this to the point that he will call me if Ice Cube is even taking him out for lunch. Last night he called to let me know that they hadn't charged the phone and it was almost dead with the charger at work with Ruth. Good kid. Now, its not that I'm going to tell him that he can't go out to lunch. It's that as his mom and as he's a minor, courtesy dictates that he keeps me informed.

My philosophy and its worked for me and mine. I have always been big on actions have reactions and consequences. I was good at laying out the consequences of their actions should they not follow my rules growing up and then sticking to them so they learned that lesson well. I am not one to make excuses for their behavior - nor did I defend them when they were wrong. So, I thank any and all readers for their opinions. Everyone has an opinion and everyone is welcome to the one they have. Just know that once you enter this site- this is my world. My playground. Your opinion will not change either me or my actions. If your opinion is sent in respectfully in a comment, I will post it. If you chose to comment anonymously then I will ignore you. Trolls will be ignored. The stalkers from Tom's house that show up as Killeen TX - embarqhsd.net 76.0.76 - also ignored. I don't post for you. I write this for me. I'm selfish that way. I started this blog and write it solely for myself. See, it helps me keep track of things in my life for one. For another, I have met some very enjoyable friends thru this whose opinions I have come to value and appreciate. But the biggest thing is that this helps me sort things out in my mind sometimes. To work thru things and get them off my chest. None of these reasons include looking for approval for decisions that my children or I make.

To my regular readers, you know how much I value both you and your comments. How much I value your opinions and input! If you are a new reader- welcome. Your comment - provided it is respectful- will also be posted and valued. Just don't expect it to change me. I'm sort of obstinate that way. Something to do with that scotch/irish/aries temper of mine I imagine. ;) Now back to the packing and baking. I am making some banana bread and stuff to go with us tomorrow.

Keep smiling all!

When it rains...it pours

This has been the month of the car issues First there was the brake issue with my car. That was a sweet $100 gone down the drain quickly. Next came the ignition issues. Remember? Put the key in and well... oops - the key won't go in anymore. Yes, can you say that that particular Ford ignition was a piece of junk? Yes, I have a Ford Focus. And the locks in the ignitions just randomly fell apart. Nothing like a $350 kick in the teeth there. And then last night, Little Man was driving home from someplace that I hadn't wanted him to go anyhow and the clutch popped and ... quit working. Do I look like I have unlimited patience here folks? Do I look like I have a money tree growing in my back yard? Did I really need tested this much?

As for Little Man's car breaking down on his way home... Can anyone say Karma? He likes to hang out with his cousins on SD's side of the family. The control freak aunt that he has won't let him see her 18 year old son unless he goes to her house. Now, after my go round with her the other day, I haven't contacted her. I said I was done and done I was. So, what did she do? This woman who has never sent my child a single card or acknowledged him on any holiday or any way, decides to start texting my son. And I asked him to not go over there and feed into her stupidity but he's 17 and he knows it all. His friend that went with him, saw right thru the aunt. The whole time they were there, she sat in a chair and told the kids to get her this or get her that. She did get up and go to a friends house for a few hours last night but when she got home, right back in the chair. The kids - they ate sandwiches for dinner. Little Man and his friend- came home starving. Good thing I had made dinner and had it ready for them to just pop in the microwave. This is typical for that Aunt. Her hubby will work all day and then come home and make dinner and clean up after it. Her sisters 17 year old that she has custody of is treated like a maid. The other kids are allowed to do sports or visit friends or spend the nights places. Her 18 year old, they bought him a truck for his 16th birthday. The 17 year old nephew, not even a drivers license. Her 15 year old, already has his permit. But not the nephew. I have never seen another kid in that house have to do dishes or feed animals. But the nephew, it's do the dishes, fetch me a drink, go feed the dogs. He's always grounded - always in trouble. Little Man gets so mad at the way the boy is treated. It's not a way that I would treat a kid or anything that I even remotely find acceptable but she keeps it just this side of the line to where social services wouldn't step in. Another year, and the boy will I'm sure show her his heels and find someplace else to live.

The bad news with all this... If I can't get Little Man's car fixed, I will not be going back for the baby's surgery or my friends wedding. My trip- killed off. I'll have to make an in and out trip to pick up B and drop Little Man's friend off but any chance of hanging out and seeing friends probably not gonna happen. Since the baby's surgery is just a circumcision, it's not really a major deal - not like heart surgery or anything. But, they're still putting him to sleep and I wanted to be there. Or if Little Man is not on the schedule, maybe it will be that I make it in for the surgery but I have to miss my friend's wedding which might be worse. I can't even think about it all right now. I just need to work on getting the situation handled before I am due to leave on Sunday. Well, off to see what I can do.

Keep smiling all!

Tara's birthday

So we're sitting here watching American Idol tonight. It's Tara's birthday and she's been feeling ill since last night. Despite that, I think she's had a good birthday. Ice Cube and Ruth gave her $20 for her birthday and she was so excited that they remembered. I got her a new phone card for her phone. As soon as the old one runs out, she's going to change to the new one and change her number. I think she's happy now. So, pardon this short message to her....

Tara, I know you read. 25 years ago today I gave birth to my only girl. My princess. The only one of my kids who is as involved with books as I am. The child the most like me. Maybe that's why we've clashed so many times over the years. You were my "experiment". The one I learned with. I was so young when I had you and knew so little. I hadn't learned yet to let go and let my kids make their mistakes. I tried to "protect" you to death. I'm glad that you still felt safe enough to pick up that phone and call when you were walking down the road a week ago. My wish for you this year is to take the time to heal. You can do anything with your life that you want to! Take your time. Figure out what you'd like to do. What will make you happy and then go for it. Happy Birthday kid. May the coming year be better than the last.

So, Tara got a nice birthday present from Ice Cube and Ruth. They let us keep Mr. Precocious for a few more days. Ruth is working double shifts the next 2 days and Ice Cube has 10 hour days. So, we get a couple of extra days with my sweet boy. My mom is giving us a hard time saying it's not fair that we get to spoil him and she doesn't. I will say that I still can't get over how good the boys are with him. They jump up and make bottles and change diapers and have no problem playing with him. We got him a blow up ducky bath tub today. It has a temperature sensor in it and the beak has something in it that quacks. He had a blast playing in it tonight. The boy absolutely loves playing in the water. We got him a little rubber ducky to play with in the tub and he had a great time.

My car decided to give me a few gray hairs today. I got home from picking up baby food and the bath and a few other necessities and took the keys out when I unloaded the car. So, then Little Man, who is being so helpful today, runs out and is going to change my oil for me. He goes to put his key in the ignition and the key won't go in. According to popular opinion, the consensus is that the tumblers broke in the ignition. Cost- somewhere over $300. I'm still in shock. Hoping that the dealership doesn't take me for too big a ride. So, wish me luck all! But, I will tell you all. B offered me his birthday money. Tara offered to take her phone card back and give me the money for that and Little Man told me that if he had any money, I'd be welcome to it. So, my kids... They're great!

Happy Birthday Tara! Hope the next year brings you much joy!

I am so very......

TIRED!

Maybe it's from being sick.  Maybe it's from being a single parent for the last 10 years.  Maybe it's from having teenagers.  Maybe it's because my car broke down and ruined my plans for Christmas.  Maybe it's just because I'm OLD.  Maybe it's because it's 31 degrees in TEXAS.  Maybe it's because my mom's not coming to visit this year.  Whatever the reasons- I'm absolutely suffering from a major depression.  

Maybe it's because I have teenage boys who - while I'm normally pretty good about letting things roll off my back and just dealing- are inconsiderate boobs sometimes and it's really getting to me.  The self-centered teenage-ness is just bugging the daylights out of me right now.  Ice Cube has done NOTHING but tear my head off for anything and everything since the stuff went down with Ms. R.  If I say "good morning"- then I'm "bugging" him.  And Little Man is bound and determined to run the car insurance up to where he's paying $200 a month I think.  He "bumped" into a girl today at the school.  Of course it wasn't HIS fault.  She shouldn't have walked in front of his car.  The fact that she was on a CROSS-WALK seems to have totally escaped him.  Did I mention that it's 31 degrees in TEXAS?   

And lets not forget the 1/3 of my monthly income that has gone to "fix" my car which still isn't fixed.  I'm sure everyone can imagine what that's done to my Christmas budget.  It started when I went to pick B up for physical therapy the other day.  I got about a block from the school and the car quit and wouldn't move.  The fuel pump went out.  $200 later- it had a new fuel pump and still wasn't running.  So, I called Cousin B- "replace the fuel filter" he tells me.  A new fuel filter and fuel injector cleaning later it's running worse.  The check engine light is on.  So, over to Cousin Bubs house to hook it up to the computer.  Another $60 later - it has new plugs and plug wires.  ITS STILL NOT FIXED.  Apparently, when I had them flush the injectors- all the gunk went into my cadalitic converter.  So now I get to replace that too.  Which definitely WONT be happening this month.  It runs.  Not well- but it runs.  So good enough.  

Anyhow- forgive me my pity party please!  I'm usually pretty good about just taking the cards and playing the hand- but I've been jumped, kicked around, and beaten down just one time too many today.   I am eternally tired of being the whipping boy every time something upsets one of my kids and they can't yell at who they're really mad at.  And I admit- every time this many things swamps me at once- I get a great big nasty attitude with SD.  Because normally, it's financially related and him owing me so much in back support and living so high on the hog while I struggle just makes my attitude worse.  ;)  

UGH!  I'm so grumpy I'm disgusted with myself.  Y'all have a good night- I'm off to bury my head in a hole somewhere.  

Just another crazy week and other updates

Wow!  What a week!  The funeral for Candy Grandma is on Tuesday.  I suppose you would call it that.  They are having no visitation at the funeral home.  No nothing.  Just a graveside service.  And then back to the X club where they'll all get drunk again.  What a life!  The aunt and uncle that live by me went back for the funeral with their son, K.  The other 2 siblings didn't go back either.  But now, that's not their dad's mom.  It's their dad's step-mom so .... probably a different story.  But the guy cousins have to work too.  I asked the kids briefly about going back but with the 2 younger ones starting school and work schedules for the 2 older ones, plus Little Man started a job last week- there was just no maneuvering around it all.  Even if I could have come up with the money.  Also, I thought about the Ex factor.  I didn't think it would be right to cause a disturbance at the funeral and just us showing up would cause a disturbance.  Ex would want to see and talk to the boys who have no interest in talking to him at this point and then it would get ugly and that's not what everyone else would need.  That's not what the boys need either.  If they had shown a lot of interest in going-  then I would have found a way to make it happen but only the older 2 even remembered her and both of them said they just didn't want to go back.  Sad right?  I imagine if I had pushed for a reason- it would have boiled down to 1-money and 2- their SD (sperm donor).  

So, I called the Ex-mil.  That was an interesting conversation.  It's the 1st time we've spoken in over 4 years.  She was fairly nice about it all.  Never asked about the kids.  She told me about her mom's passing.  I told her I was getting ready to leave to take LM to work and she was confused.  Take who to work? 

"LM"

"He's old enough to work?  Really? Where's he working at now?"

"X company"

"Really?  How old is he now? Is he old enough to work?"

UGH!  You'd think they'd have a general idea of the kids ages but no, she has to ask how old they all are now.  So, updated her that Ice Cube almost has his truck paid off and has had the same gf for almost a year.  Hurricane has had the same gf for going on 4 years running and got her a diamond for christmas last year (promise ring NOT engagement ring he tells me).  She never asked about B at all.  Just told me to tell all the kids that she loves them.  And didn't that get my ears burned.  Because with all the times that she's called them and sent them birthday cards or christmas cards you know?  They really appreciated me passing on that message.  Not.  But you know how it is.  If you don't pass on the message - you feel guilty for not telling them.  And when you do pass on the message - then you're the one that gets chewed out for their shortcomings.  You know the comments like "sure, I can tell she does from the last call/card/contact we had".  I hate teenage sarcasm!  Every single one of them when I said something about their grandma passing freaked out thinking I was talking about MY mom.  They never even considered having another grandmother.  I had to jump in really quick and explain who I was talking about.  Then LM was mad at me for scaring him.  I didn't mean to.  It just never occurred to me in all this mess that with Ex and the majority of his family ignoring their existence that they would forget that that part of the family existed.  I should have known.  

In other news: 

~ Tuesday is back to school day.  Hurray!  

~B has to have a glucose tolerance test on Monday.  Yuck!

We have to go by his school to pick up his new schedule and stuff on Monday too. (LM's is done) B's wasn't right and I had to have some changes made.  He has issues with Science and has vision issues so we had requested a certain teacher for him who is a wonderful lady and will work with him but not let him get away with anything.  The vision issues make certain things fun in school and she already had LM who has the same issues.  

~We still have to do some shopping for them.  OH how fun!  Shopping with 2 teenage boys.  Someone please send valium.  ;)

~We finally heard from B's new coach and he seems pretty nice.  I volunteered to do the scorekeeping for his new team and it was very graciously jumped on/accepted.

~LM's car has been diagnosed (thank you cousin B!!) and will be fixed and ready to go when he gets his license.  We will be picking up part numbers today and going to get the parts!

Well, time to go make myself look human as LM just got called into work an hour early.  Did I mention I can't wait till he gets his car fixed and his license???  Did I?