Random updates

For starters, I managed to make all necessary arrangements to be able to leave town tomorrow. Little Man actually has a check coming that will cover the repairs and the big thing was seeing if we could borrow money till it got here. Thanks to Vix who graciously loaned me the majority of it so that we could pay the mechanic. Another thank you to our mechanic that we found when we moved here last year who has agreed to take a check for next week for the remainder of the money. He already has the car and told me to go be with my grand baby on Monday and he'd take care of the car. Really nice guy. Does great work and doesn't do unnecessary work. So many times over the years, I have run into unscrupulous repair folks who have thought that a single woman was fair game. Big mistake when it comes to me. I am not as dumb as most of these fools assumed. We also arranged rides from a couple of Little Man's friends for work and to go get his car when its done in case its not done today.

Today I will spend cleaning and packing because don't you know, never leave town with a dirty house. Little Man is hoping to have his car back and have a few days off work to come down and join us.

Tara is doing mostly fine. She has been hanging out with Pancho (friend of the family from old town) and her brother. While Little Man is at work, they have taken walks thru the property and gathered wood to have a bonfire last night. Tom alternates between begging her to come back and trying to make her jealous about the new girl he's seeing. She bites not at all. Almost like a switch in her turned off inside her. Her care switch. She seems more amused by his pathetic attempts at manipulation than anything else. She just wants to go on with her life. He claims that it's not him stalking either blog. He says that it's his mom, his sister, his sisters girlfriend. I don't really care which of the pathetic losers it is. They all need to get a life. Realize that she's done and we frankly don't care about any of them. His current story is that he is going to return all her stuff and she can sign the divorce papers when she goes to town. I'll believe it when I see it. I'm not holding my breath and neither is she.

Yesterday, someone from Washington named Caroline googled the word "circumcision" and found my blog. She felt obligated to tell me to do research before "letting" this happen. Now, had nothing else clued me in to the fact that she was a new reader- that would have in a large way. See? Anyone who reads my blog would know that I don't make those types of decisions for my kids. This is not "my child" we are talking about. It is my grandchild. And as such, it's my place to support the decisions made for him by his parents. The parents made their decision after months of thought and consulted with his pediatrician. All 4 of my boys are circumcised too.

Caroline thought that I wouldn't post her comment - she was wrong. But for any and all new readers, I am not my children's conscience. I am their parent. It is my job to guide them. To teach them to make decisions - not to make those decisions for them. I don't always agree with the decisions they make. And let me say - when my kids were little, I didn't let them make life altering decisions. We started small and easy with things like do you want the chicken or the cheeseburger? But all in all, be realistic. Your kids will eventually move out. They will eventually be adults who have to manage their own lives. Fact is- eventually, we won't be around to make decisions for our kids anymore and if you've never allowed them to make a choice or a mistake for themselves before, then what will they do when you're gone? I have a girlfriend who micromanages her kids lives. Her son is now going on 30, married and with kids and he still calls his mom to see if they should do A or B. Mom gets mad if she doesn't know every move that they make. Me? I request that they keep me informed out of politeness if they are going out of town. With Little Man and B - it is mandated. Common courtesy requires that they inform me of where they are and they have a curfew to follow. Even when B is with his brothers, he is required to call me and let me know if he leaves Ice Cube's house to go with even Hurricane. Failure to do so makes life very uncomfortable for him. I have finally impressed upon him the importance of this to the point that he will call me if Ice Cube is even taking him out for lunch. Last night he called to let me know that they hadn't charged the phone and it was almost dead with the charger at work with Ruth. Good kid. Now, its not that I'm going to tell him that he can't go out to lunch. It's that as his mom and as he's a minor, courtesy dictates that he keeps me informed.

My philosophy and its worked for me and mine. I have always been big on actions have reactions and consequences. I was good at laying out the consequences of their actions should they not follow my rules growing up and then sticking to them so they learned that lesson well. I am not one to make excuses for their behavior - nor did I defend them when they were wrong. So, I thank any and all readers for their opinions. Everyone has an opinion and everyone is welcome to the one they have. Just know that once you enter this site- this is my world. My playground. Your opinion will not change either me or my actions. If your opinion is sent in respectfully in a comment, I will post it. If you chose to comment anonymously then I will ignore you. Trolls will be ignored. The stalkers from Tom's house that show up as Killeen TX - embarqhsd.net 76.0.76 - also ignored. I don't post for you. I write this for me. I'm selfish that way. I started this blog and write it solely for myself. See, it helps me keep track of things in my life for one. For another, I have met some very enjoyable friends thru this whose opinions I have come to value and appreciate. But the biggest thing is that this helps me sort things out in my mind sometimes. To work thru things and get them off my chest. None of these reasons include looking for approval for decisions that my children or I make.

To my regular readers, you know how much I value both you and your comments. How much I value your opinions and input! If you are a new reader- welcome. Your comment - provided it is respectful- will also be posted and valued. Just don't expect it to change me. I'm sort of obstinate that way. Something to do with that scotch/irish/aries temper of mine I imagine. ;) Now back to the packing and baking. I am making some banana bread and stuff to go with us tomorrow.

Keep smiling all!

Before and after

A friend of mine from blog land and I were chatting the other day and she said that she can't imagine me heavy. I told her that I had about 4 chins before my surgery a little over a year ago. Now, mind you, I know that surgery isn't the way to go for everyone. I have a joint disease that was really being aggravated by the excess weight I was carrying around. I tried every diet known to man to lose weight. Big problem was the catch 22 I was in with the joint and exercise. See, you sort of have to be able to move to exercise and I wasn't able to get around so well. I needed to get the weight off to be able to move around. And I couldn't move around well enough to exercise. Now, did losing weight fix my joint problems? Not a chance! What it did was make them more manageable. I can move around a bit more. Moving around a bit more makes it easier to keep the weight off. So now, for my friend that asked....

Me the month before surgery:

This is me almost 6 months after surgery with one of my friends, Brandi:

There aren't more pictures of me because I don't like the camera. I'm usually the one taking the pictures so no one ever takes pictures of me. I need some new ones of me and my precious boy.

Speaking of the sweet one ---

He is napping right now. For some reason, he awoke at 4:45 this morning well rested and ready to play. Full of grins and smiles and happy with the world. Grandma and Uncle Little Man weren't so wide awake and happy at that time of the morning. We got him this blow up rubber duck bath tub. Squeeze the ducks nose and it quacks. There's a certain little someone who thinks he's just cool man joe playing in the ducky bathtub. So in hopes that you enjoy his smiling face much more than pictures of me.... Everyone have a great weekend!

smiles

Despite a popular belief that I have that I talk to myself most of the time and that my children have absolutely nothing between their ears to stop the words I spew, I found today that at least some of it sticks. For one, My daughter finally blocked Tom from her favorite online site. She has to leave one email where he can contact her about the divorce but she left him an email that he can't bug her on. She also emailed him and let him know that she wouldn't be discussing anything other than the divorce and all other attempts at contact would be ignored. I also heard her parroting my words back to one of her friends who is in a similar situation. I had to bang my head on my hand and ask her if I was hearing a repeat from this morning. Do you know that she was so very rude as to laugh at me? I mean really?

So there's new on the SD front. I didn't get my big $17 child support check last month. Seems that SD and M (crazy GF) were on a 2 week vacation to FL and a trip to Disney. Yes, I know the irony right? He won't pay the child support that's ordered. Pays a measly $17 a month in child support but can afford a 2 week vacation in FL. So word has it that Crazy M got caught cheating on him. Texting a guy while they were in TN on their way home. SD threw her cell phone in the river. They got home and he told her to get out. Now, this is bad on several counts. Its been no secret that I have wanted SD to get his act together and be a dad. But SD, as he is now- is not anyone that I would even care to have around the kids. The alcohol and drug use isn't something I need around the kids at all. Nor the cocaine that he's so fond of. Now, this has not been an issue as for the last 5 years, SD has been happy to ignore the fact that he has kids. However, if he and Crazy M break up and she takes her kids away, he'll remember that I have kids. Kids who actually share his DNA. And that could be a headache in the making for me. Of course, all I have to do to get him to quit calling again is to stick one of the kids on the phone. Once they tell him his faults as they see them in all their teenage maturity (read with all sarcasm here) and bluntness - he'll hang up and not call again for another year or so. There's a plan!

When Ruth and Ice Cube left yesterday, they were so kind as to leave something of theirs behind for a few days. And folks, I won't even embarrass myself as to tell you how we begged and pleaded for more time with their most precious belonging. So, I hope you all enjoy seeing what's below as much as we enjoy our time with our youngest family member.

Nope he's not ornery at all!

That sly grin

Sitting up like a big boy

What? I didn't do it grandma.... I swear!

Trying to get aunt Tara's computer

Gotta love that tail sticking up in the air

Keep smiling!

sunday ramblings

B is due home today. This makes mama very happy. I have missed my baby dreadfully. Not to mention, there have been occasions where his brothers aren't very respectful of the rules that I have set. Now, when called out on this, I always hear "yes mom, I understand" and "it will never happen again". Because I was born last night and I so believe them right?

So, I got most of my strawberry plants in the ground yesterday. I still have a dozen left but those will be done today. I just need Little Man to move the other big tote that I am going to use. My next project will be tomato plants. I'm planning on getting some thorned blackberry or raspberry plants to use as a natural fence. Not only do they make a great natural fence line, they're pretty, they smell good, and then we get good things to eat. One of the things I have yet to find, is no sugar added raspberry or blackberry jam.

Little Man's work is still not giving him the hours that he wants or needs. So he is once again on the great job search. He's in on the computer working on a school test right now.

Ruth and Ice Cube are doing well. They are finally starting to come out on top. They have dug out of the hole of horrible debt that they got into when they moved back to old town. They are saving to buy a 2nd car right now. Little Bit is doing well. He's 8 months old now. He's crawling all over the place. He can take the walker all over the house. He loves to clap and thinks its abuse when he's not the center of attention. Of course, with his doting uncles - he usually is the center of attention. They are bringing B home tonight so I am going to get to see the sweet baby if only for over-night.

B and Ice Cube are at the game room with Little Bit while Ruth is at work and then they're all headed this way.

Hurricane and Donna were over at IC's house last night. B was wrestling with Hurricane. Things seem to be moving along in that area. I haven't really asked. It seems safer. Hurricane turned 22 on Friday. I held to my word and didn't go that way for his birthday. It was hard.

Tara's situation is settling down I think. She has her moments where she really misses parts of her life with Tom. Not the bad things! Things like waking up with someone. We haven't heard from Tom since Friday night when Tara informed him that he needed help. She told him that he needed counseling, drug and alcohol counseling and to learn to be a father to his kids. She told him that she couldn't help him anymore. Then she told him good bye and hung up the phone. When he called back, she handed the phone to me. Tom asked to speak to her and I told him that she didn't want to talk anymore right then. He asked me if she was done. I told him that I didn't know. He told me that I did know. I told him that she said she was but that I wasn't in her head and therefor could only go off of what she said. He asked me to tell her that he was sorry so I told her. Her response: "ok". He told me that I must be glad that I finally got what I wanted. I told him that all I had ever wanted was for Tara to be happy and that if he had acted right and done that then it would have been all good with me. He started getting belligerent and started calling me names and cussing and I told him that I didn't have to listen to it. Then I told him that I was hanging up and that I'd ignore any other calls that he made that night and hit the pretty little off button. He hasn't called back since. We can only hope that he finally caught on and will quit calling but I'm not a holding my breath. I imagine that we'll be dealing with the occasional drunken outburst until she changes her pre-paid phone card and changes the number. His mom and sister both tried reaching her for the first few days but when she didn't answer to them, they eventually quit trying. Tara did respond to an email from his mom and thanked his mom for everything that she had done for

her over the years. Tom's mom was good to Tara. Tom's mom supported Tara more during her marriage to Tom than Tom did. That's just sad.

Well, Tara put a cake in the oven. I'm going to go mop the kitchen floor while its baking. She's helping me get things done around here. It's been a rough week and I am behind on my regular things. Doctor's appointments and planting have cut into my tv time you know?

Keep smiling!

what a weekend....

What a weekend! I am still looking for a short name for the baby for my blog ladies. And I am going to change Little Man's nickname too. Little Man has been Mr. Dependable for me in the last 6 months. I don't know if he sees it or not, but moving has been really good for him.

So, I said the kid's aunt was coming over Saturday. How many of y'all realized that I was talking about my ex's sister? Anyone? Ok, my ex's 1/2 sister. They have the same dad- different moms. (speaking of 1/2 siblings with the same dad.... I haven't heard anything from either of my 1/2 brothers still.) Does anyone have any idea how hard this relationship is for me. And for her too I imagine. I met Tami the same time SD did. They had never seen each other before. Ice Cube was a baby and Tami was pregnant with her oldest son. I don't know about y'all but in my house, I am the one that does/did birthday cards, pictures of kids, phone calls to check on the family - all that type of stuff. SD- well, as much as he's called my kids since we split up- that's about how much he bothered to call and check on any of his family while we were together. Tami and I are both picture people. We traded pictures of the kids back and forth, got in the habit of fairly regular phone calls. We had babies close to each other. Her oldest son is between Ice Cube and Little Man, her youngest is only a bit older than B. We arranged visits between the families. And after the divorce, I was in TX - SD in Indiana - Tami in TX. We made visits back and forth so that our kids would know each other. Now, I imagine that as uncomfortable as I am in befriending her- it's just as hard for her to have anything to do with me. SD is her brother even if they have only seen each other less than 10 times their whole lives. On my end of it, I value my privacy. I don't like drama. And this situation is a set up for drama. Let me repeat myself. I do not like drama. In any shape or form.

As much as I hate drama, I'm not saying I don't have a life filled with it. See - I was stupid and gave birth 5 times. That's like a recipe for drama. Especially once you add in those kids turning in to free thinking and acting almost adults who date and procreate. Throw in some foster kids and open my door for about any kid that my kids decide to drag home- and that is a recipe for yet more drama. So, is anyone surprised that there are days that I just want to bury my head in the sand and ignore the rest of the world? No? Didn't think so. Associating with Tami is opening myself up to have to deal with yet more drama. For one- there is no telling what random innocent remark that Tami might make to her dad (who lives in IN like SD and sees him occassionally) or SD himself that might get blown up to some giant headache for me. And did I mention, that I like privacy? Any of those same innocent, random remarks could cause big issues in that area too. And then there's the issue with pictures. Pictures are a part of my privacy. And at one point right after the baby was born, we had an issue with SD getting pictures of the baby. Tami swears it wasn't her but there are very few people that it could be. Now, let me explain the deal with pictures. I don't know that Ice Cube wouldn't give SD a picture of the baby if he were to ask. And that's the thing. Not sneak around and get pictures from other people and then use those pictures to weave fantasies about his relationship (there is none) with the kids. But as you can see, the chances of drama being caused by something as simple as a family dinner run high in this situation.

So, she did come over that day. And 2 of the kids came with her. And cousin J (CJ) showed up. And I had a houseful. And all this with the baby here. And the baby she brought with her cried more of the time that he was here than he didn't. And gave me a migraine. So, Saturday night can anyone guess how happy I was that the baby went to bed by 8 and slept all night?

But, Little Bit went home to his mommy and daddy (who missed him very very much) yesterday. We had to take Little Man's car as the brakes are still not fixed on mine. That baby was so happy when he saw his daddy. (Ruth was at work so we only met up with Ice Cube) His little arms and legs were a going and he had the biggest smile on his face. And after we returned him to his his loving parents, Little Man drove me home last night and I was brain dead. The weather was changing. Cold front moved in. And between the weather change and a weekend spent with all kinds of physical activity, this grandma was/is in pain. So I'm going to take it easy for at least today and maybe tomorrow too. And hope that my simple dinner with my ex SIL doesn't draw any more drama into my life. Because, I really hate drama.

(as soon as I get them off my camera, I have many pictures from this weekend to share....)

Saturday visits...

Angel, our happy go lucky ferret. Vix makes her these sleeping bag hammocks that she loves.

chickens. I am the keeper of the chicken food which makes me really popular with them.

more chickens. Lots of chickens.

Our puppy, Lucky. The poor sad puppy hates it that mama won't let him play with the birds in the yard. It's just not fair!

We also have another puppy and a cat. The cat avoids humans with a passion and I didn't get a picture of her and well... I got distracted before I got a picture of our resident mop shih tzu, Gizmo.

Little Man is playing with the baby. He is such a good baby. He was asleep just after 8 last night and I didn't hear a peep out of him until 7 this morning. He woke up smiling. I gave him a bath and he played some more before he ever wanted his bottle. They are making me give him back tomorrow. (I know - mean of them isn't it?) We have had a fun visit.

The kids Aunt T is supposed to come over today with a couple of her kids. She is also picking up this little baby that she babysits for and bringing him. That part of it I don't get and wish that she hadn't. That baby is a few months younger than Little Bit and he cries. A Lot. The problem with this being that when Little Bit hears another baby crying - he cries too. And won't quit so long as the other baby is crying. I imagine that this will be a really short visit because I'll end up booting her out if I have to listen to crying baby for long. Yes, I know- I'm a witch. Dealt with enough of that when Tara was a baby. Didn't like to listen to it then and now that I've raised mine- I don't have to listen to it anymore. ;) That's the good part about being a grand parent- they cry- you get to hand them back over. I will say that these kids have absolutely no idea of how lucky they have it with this baby. He doesn't cry. He is almost always smiling. He didn't have colic or do a lot of fussing. Did I mention that he's almost always smiling?

Well, off here to go find some food before I get invaded and forget to eat. Hope y'all have a great day!

Grand baby here

We're here and home. Little Bit slept from around 11 last night till 7:30 this morning. Is it the normal 11 hours he does for his mommy and daddy? No. But its pretty good for a little one who has never spent a night away from home before. He ate well for me. Hasn't done a whole lot of fussing. His uncle Little Man (ok - these 2 names are too long to type- I'm going to do some re-naming on this blog quickly!) just told me that the baby woke him up once laughing and grabbing his glasses off his face in the middle of the night. Fortunately for us, while Little Bit has learned to crawl, he's still not real proficient at it yet so it's still a hit and miss deal. Mommy Ruth forgot to give grandma his play yard so we put a mattress on the living room floor and uncle and baby slept there last night. In mommy's defense, she thought the play yard was still at my house where it mostly resides, and forgot that they had taken it home.

OK faithful readers, I need some help here. We need to re-name the baby. Idea's welcome. For one, Little Bit is too close to Little Man. We can rename him too as he's not such a "little" man anymore. For another, Too much typing for me! Names that are short and sweet would be appreciated! Thanks!

The baby is trying to walk/crawl at the same time. He goes from his hands and knees to his hands and feet and then sort of flops forward. This is hilarious to watch and gives a great imitation of an inch worm. I spend a good amount of time laughing at him. These kids have absolutely not idea how lucky they were with this baby. He rarely cries. The child wakes up happy and smiling. Not screaming for food or fussing. And he sleeps for reasonable amounts of time and still takes 2 naps a day. Tara slept about 1 1/2 hours at a time. She was walking by 9 months and dumped the Christmas tree over trying to climb it. She could climb out of the play pen and her crib by the time she was 9 months old. The boys are lucky they were ever born with as sleep deprived and stressed out as I was with her. My parents saved me with her. They would take her over-nights and on weekends and let me get some sleep. I was so sleep deprived with that child. And then Hurricane came along. And he was such a good baby. He played quietly and could self entertain. He was such a good baby and then such a good boy. He and I used to have such a good relationship.

Well, off here to chase a cute little baby around. One who I think will be back down for a nap shortly from the look of his eyes. He's had his breakfast. He's had his morning bottle. He's played hard for over an hour. I heard the unmistakable sounds of metal on metal yesterday when I went to stop my car. Little Man is out there now pulling the tire off and starting to try and fix it. He stopped last night after work and picked up the brakes pads for the front. Here's hoping that there's no rotor damage and I caught it soon enough. Prayers, crossed fingers, all well wishes welcome! G'day all!

Just me and my....

Grand baby! I got a call from Ruth today. She was asking if B still wanted to make a trip down there to hang with them. I said I didn't know. I wasn't sure how the transportation thing would work. Well, then she said that Ice Cube had mentioned that I might be interested in keeping Little Bit overnight. My ears perked right up. I'm surprised they didn't pop of my head.

Back story here.... A friend of mine popped up on my FB IM the other morn. She wanted to know if the kids had found someone to keep Little Bit the night before. Well, now that was a great question! But I wasn't the person to ask as I didn't even know they'd been looking for a sitter the night before. But now, I'm a ways away otherwise, we all know who would have him whenever they wanted to go out. And they both work evenings so it's not that often that they both have the same night off. Well, when I talked to IC later that day, I pointed out that I would have been happy to keep Little Bit. And he said - but mom, you live 3 hours away. And I said- well, we'll meet 1/2 way to do the trade. And I'll keep him for a day or two or week. Ok, now we all know that the week idea is stretching it. They have never been away from him all night before - let alone a week. The most they've done is let me get up with him in the middle of the night so that they can get a whole night's sleep.

So, Ruth tells me that all their friends are getting their tax returns in. And that everyone wants to party. And they don't want to have folks over with Little Bit there again after the fiasco during Ice Cube's birthday. I agreed that not having the baby there sounded like a good idea. But now remember- this is grandma talking. They could have told me that they wanted to sleep for 24 hours straight and I would have thought it sounded like a good idea if I got to keep the baby. So, we settled on a time and he's coming here.

Before everyone thinks I'm bringing Little Bit here to get him deathly ill. Both boys woke up this morning with fever and cough gone. I have spent the day spraying lysol and washing everything. I sprayed lysol on the carpets, the furniture, stripped the boys beds and sprayed lysol on their mattresses and pillows. I bleached counters. Used antibacterial wipes on door handles. Washed all the lap blankets that live in the family room. It's been a busy day for me. That might be why this post is going up so late. Oh and grandma might also have had to go to the store to make sure that no matter what mommy and daddy send for Little Bit to eat- she has his favorite fruit and granola lunch food. ;)

Well, I still need to mop the kitchen floor as soon as Little Man and Cousin J get done making themselves something to eat. I made taco's for lunch today because I knew Little Man had to work tonight. So it was FFYS (fend for yourself) around here tonight. We had leftover bbq chicken, ham, and tacos in the fridge. Plus I always have lunch meat, those disgusting yummy noodle things the kids eat, canned pasta and assorted other stupid things that my kids find essential. Well, I just got the call from Ruth, my lovely son wants to meet at 10 am tomorrow morning (ICK). So, off here I go to make sure that everything is ready. Night all!

teens....backs....

Well, Good morning to all my friends out there in blog land.

I stayed up altogether too late last night. Little Man started the season premier of a show he wanted to see and didn't realize that it was a 2 hour premier. We ended up stay up till some time after 2 watching the first 4 hours. Why was I so stupid? I am way too old for that. Of course, then I sleep in 2 hours later than I normally do which makes me feel like I'm behind all day.

In other news, I got a phone call this morning from Ruth. Ice Cube taught Little Bit to clap. I got to "talk" to the baby. What this entails is me sounding like a fool talking into the phone while Little Bit tries to eat the phone and makes noises in the other end. He smiles and tries to eat my voice and I talk to myself. Everyone done laughing now? Good! I also hear that he has figured out how to work his walker and he's turning into a terror on wheels. I will have new pictures of the baby next week that I'll post on the other site once I get them. I feel so sorry for those people who have ruined the chance to watch him grow. A whole side of his family that will never get to see his sweet face or pinch those little fat cheeks. Although, I really don't think that SD has the sense to know what he's missing and I doubt the rest of his family does either. And, as for Tara... Well, it was her choice to allow Tom to be such a jerk that none of us care to be around him. Much easier to allow Tom to show his tail than to either stand up to his abuse or leave him.

The sad part of that is that she's given up all of her dreams to endure his stupidity. She has POS and has been unable to conceive as she refused to follow the doctors orders to take her medication, watch her weight, or any other things that she could have personally done to help herself out. The man she is with has a felony record with multiple arrests for domestic violence and is an alcoholic and drug abuser. Foster care and adoption are out with his record. So the thing that she has wanted most in the world is very likely unattainable. She'll never have the pleasure (or headache) of being a step-mom to Tom's kids because he has no visitation rights to those kids. As he won't take any of the steps necessary to gain any visitation and doesn't care enough about the kids to pay the money for the supervised visits, he'll never move past that point. And as its been like 3 or 4 years since he was released from prison and hasn't made any effort what-so-ever during that time (no child support, no visits -that count via court anyhow because stalking the church the kids go to is not going to look good to the court, no calls, cards or letters - not even some sent that may or may not get sent back just lame excuses that his ex wouldn't give them to the kids so why bother) and has had at least one other arrest for domestic violence since being released from the big house, if I were his ex, I'd fight tooth and nail against letting him take my kids anywhere. No job history, no stability, living in 3 different states, always one step ahead of the law, and drinking more often than not. Its very sad for me to see Tara end up here. She had so much potential and could have had such a wonderful life. Had she kept on her meds, gone to a real school and met a man that didn't have a record longer than he is tall- she might have gotten to fulfill her dreams. Watching her suffer and give up everything she ever wanted in life has been hard. Much harder than not watching.

Me? I'm doing good. Trouble yesterday - dealt with. Am I popular? Not a bit. But like my mama once told me: "Parenting is not a popularity contest." Darn good thing too because I'd surely be in last place. Will I survive this unpopularity? Definitely! The one that's mad at me now - already mostly over it. Loves me way to much to stay mad when he knows he was in the wrong. And unlike some of his older siblings- way too smart to blame me for catching him making a mistake. ;)

Back to harping at a couple of kids to clean up their rooms. Not sure quite what it is about teenagers and bending over. Do teens have bad backs or something? What makes them unable to reach the floor to pick their belongings up off it? Answers? Anyone?

visiting

So, I have had company this weekend. But it's not really "company". Vix and Cal came down for the weekend.

I met Vix back in 1981. Yes, I know, I dated myself. I met her my Jr. year in High school. She was a sophomore in college. Remember I blogged about being into music. The only year I wasn't first chair bass all the years I played, was my freshman year in high school. I got beat out by a senior. This senior and I ended up being friends. When she went to college the next year, she went away to school to live in the dorm but the college was only about 30 miles away. It was great for my 15 year old self. My parents trusted this girl whole heartedly. They thought that she was just the best role model for my little self. Little did they know. They used to let me go hang out for weekends at the college with her. Her sophomore year in college, her roommate was Vix. Vix and I hit it off right away. Of course, it helped that Vix knew where all the good parties with cute boys were. And that she didn't say much when I drank too much. And Vix always treated me like her little sister but yet never bossed me around.

The friendship that started then has lasted thru today. The girl that introduced us? We still hear from her too. Not as frequently. She sends regular mass emails but other than that doesn't have much time to answer an email. And folks, don't misunderstand that statement. I don't mind the emails . I just don't much care for only being recognized as part of a mass email with no personal touches. These mass emails are like those annoying Christmas card updates that people send out. You know, things like Susie is head of the cheer leading squad, dating the captain of the football team and head of the student counsel while Johnny is being recognized by the state for his performance with his volunteer group and has been offered a full scholarship to harvard and they just bought a new vacation home in Hawaii and her husband has been offered a 1/2 million dollar raise and a company jet. And no, I'm not jealous. But no one's life is that perfect. We all have trials and tribulations to deal with. And when her son got a girl pregnant who gave him sex as a thank you for helping her with a homework assignment when he was 16 and they had to do a paternity test to see if the baby was really his.... Do you think that went out in the newsy email? Of course not.

Anyhow, that's how we met. Sorry for the side-track. 28 years later. Vix is god -mother to my monsters. Hurricane has lived with them on and off for the last 4 years. Cal has gotten every one of the monsters a computer when they started high school. And eventually, they will get around to building their house down here on this property. And it won't be visiting- we will be neighbors. Which was the original plan 11 years ago when I moved to Texas. I am the guardian for the property. Cal calls me his protector. My house is at the front of the property. I keep people from vandalizing the property but really what Cal wants me to do is keep the door to door folks from ringing his door bell. They can bother me and not him. Vix calls me her sanity. I drag her out of the house and make her socialize. Because if I didn't, she'd never go do anything. My anti-social buddy. She wasn't like that when we were younger but as we've gotten older, the more she stayed to herself, the worse she's gotten. Not that I am social. But I do better than she does.

How has our relationship survived 28 years? Opposites attract. Where I am anal- she is laid back. Where I am habitually early - she is habitually late. I organize my pantry - she throws it randomly in there. I am a dog person- she does cats. I have a ferret (a predator) - she has pet rats (prey). She has been happily married for 23 years now. I am happily divorced.

I really expected that some of these differences would make for an awkward visit. Especially, as picky as I am about keeping things picked up around my living room. I have to keep the floor area in those 2 area's picked up. Or the fact that while I am a morning person with an internal alarm that goes off around 7 every morning. I don't think Vix knows that 7 has an AM. I think Vix believes that 7 only comes at PM. Just as I don't do a 4 or 5 AM which she regularly sees- from the day before side. I mean our schedules are about as different as they could possibly be. I have been pleasantly surprised at how easy this visit has been. Sitting around the living room like normal folks watching movies together while Cal showed the boys how to properly clean the rifles. Watching Sunday football together which was ultimately weird. (well, its such a "normal" Sunday activity and we really are neither or us much into football). Things that have needed done have been accomplished. Cal and Little Man (and then Little Man got cold and quit but Cal stayed out all night) went deer hunting. No arguing between the boys and Vix. They do love to pick on her and she is just isn't sure how to take them sometimes. The arguing I worried might come hasn't. My anti-social friend has managed to spend 3 days away from home (well tonight will be the 3rd night). She is surviving. And thankfully, the boys have been fairly good with all this. Not too much rough housing. They've been helpful with Cal. All in all, a much more relaxing experience than I expected.

Ice Cube and Ruth both had to start their new jobs this weekend so they didn't get a chance to come visit. I miss seeing my Little Bit but totally understand that they have just moved and needed to start their new jobs and I'm very happy that they managed to get jobs in todays economy. Well, big day tomorrow. Y'all have a great one!

Fairly wordless Weds

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I'm not perfect

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weekend

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TGIF

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Adventures in crazy

Well, the kids came down for the weekend. I really expected Hurricane and Donna to show up too. They can't try to claim that they didn't know that Ice Cube and Ruth were coming down this weekend because Ice Cube and Ruth come down every other weekend. But, I haven't heard a word one from either Hurricane or Donna. Despite all the drama at the beginning of it, it has been a good weekend. The kids had fun last night. I sat outside with them for a little bit and then came in and watched the rest of the Yankees/Angels game. The kids burned up a lot of the yard debris that came down in the last storm. Ruth had gotten her camera back from the shop (apparently it had been broken) and they took a bunch of pictures. I didn't very many pictures but I did get some of NK (new kid) with the cake Ruth baked him. B was being pretty silly last night and kept jumping into all the pictures making silly faces. I'll try to get my hands on some of them and post them. They'll make good blackmail pictures later.

On another note, The kids came to me with some things this weekend. They are not very happy where they're living. Ruth said that she doesn't think that Ice Cube feels very welcome at her house. But I asked her if she felt welcome and she said not always. I don't think that there's anything "wrong" with this. I just think that her family is different than ours. She said that she always feels welcome and wanted here. That's good because they are always welcome and wanted here. They have been unable to get ahead financially where they are. They don't have anyone to watch Little Bit so that she can go to work or school. Ruth has a $2,000 scholarship that she can take to any school she wants right now. But her mom works and she doesn't want to leave Little Bit with just anyone. Yes, I know that parents all over the world do it every day and leave their children in day care. But they can't afford day care. Whereas here, they can leave Little Bit with me while she goes to school.

It's really funny as one of my favorite blog authors, Sharon, had written a post a few days ago about what do you do with your adult children? Do you let them sink or swim? Do you let them move back home? I left her a comment saying that I had handled it both ways. I've let them come back home and I've told them before that its not a possibility. I believe that a lot of it comes down to how they left home. Did they leave on good terms or because they were making everyone's life miserable? Have they worked to change things if they left on bad terms? Are they responsible? Is the mess they're in of their own making or is it something that was unavoidable? I mean if they quit their job for no reason then that's one thing. If they got laid off or hurt at work then that's another issue. Are they respectful of you, your home, and your rules? Because that's a big one around here. No respect - no tolerance. In this case, I would be ok with letting them come here on a short term basis. Like I told them - I'm not going to have them here when Little Bit is 10 years old and they're hitting 30. They will have to save 1/2 of what they make. They need to do what they can to become self sufficient. I don't mind helping. Ruth is going to med school and I sure don't mind keeping Little Bit while she goes to college to better their lives. The local college has a culinary arts program too and that is what Ice Cube has wanted to do. I don't mind helping them get ahead. But my help only extends as far as their willingness to do the work. This is what was supposed to happen when they went to where they are now. But her mom works long hours in a demanding job. And her mom has a social life (unlike me). Her mom is a very busy woman. And the cost of living there is so much higher than it is where I am. (There are benefits to living in redneck village ok?) Plus, Vix and Cal have offered them the chance to build on this land or move a home onto it. They can go far enough away for us all to have privacy but close enough to make it convenient for Little Bit to come to grandma's house. That would be a dream come true for me. Having Little Bit close enough that Ruth can say - go over to grandmas and have him make the across the property. Of course, that would be years in the future because at this point, you don't walk the property without a gun (if he could even walk). There's a black panther loose around here and its just common sense to be armed. And there's another pet peeve of mine for you. Gun control. We have a black panther running loose around here. Coyotes. Rattle snakes and Copperheads. I understand that some folks who live in cities and suburbs don't think about us folks who live out in places that guns are a fact of life still. Personally, I'll shoot a snake quick before it gets a chance to get me. Sorry for the side track.

I think that its a possibility that sometime in the near future, my house is going to become even more crowded and chaotic. Good blog fodder right? That would give me 2 18 year olds, 2 17 year olds, a 14 year old and a 3 1/2 month old here at once. Oh wait! That was my weekend. Its not bad except for the dishes. My kids are incapable of using a glass more than once. Does anyone else have this issue? They're drinking sweet tea- finish off one glass - go to get more and USE a NEW GLASS. The why of this boggles my mind. It just makes no sense at all. And you'd think that as much as I nag complain beg them to use the same glass, they'd have caught on by now.

Well, this old grandma is falling asleep in the recliner. I stayed up to watch the Yankees win in the 13th inning last night on a throwing error courtesy of the Angels. Good game. However, 13 innings takes you till after 1 Am. And then I had to go bring in the mess from the bonfire. Which would have all been fine and dandy but Little Bit thought that his belly needed fed at 6:30 this morning. And he was quite loud about the fact that we were starving him. The poor baby had obviously not eaten in weeks to hear his complaints. And he wanted his grandma. He told me so. ;)

Have a good night all!

checking in

Wow! What a couple of days. It's been rough. Not that anything at the office was all that busy because it really hasn't been. It's been sporadic. We get rushes and then it's been dead. I'm not sure why everyone seems to be waiting but I think some of them just aren't in from other venues yet. I think one of the guys said something about people coming in from Arizona (?) .... Maybe. I know that most of them usually come in from OK but one of the owners said that OK and TX are over-lapping this year. I do know that one of the biggest companies hasn't sent a single one of their people in yet this year and I know they're coming because I've seen some of their trailers. But, a lot of these folks worry about getting set up first and then stupid stuff like coming to see us. So, we're seeing our first funny stories. Daughter had one yesterday that tried to cheat us. We always make them open their pockets and take off hats. No keys, pins, lighters, cigarettes, chapstick, etc allowed to go into the rooms with them. They are allowed to take their money, ID, and wallets. We play show and tell. They show us what they have and we tell them what they can and can't take into the bathrooms. (ok, yes, my sense of humor is warped... it's been a long day). Anyhow, she was suspicious of this guy cause he was trying to fill the cup from up around his chest area. And I realize I'm not a man and it's been several years since I took anatomy, but last time I knew, men did not urinate from their chest. So, as she's walking back to our table, and this gentleman was walking behind her... All of a sudden a prescription bottle cap came flying from out of his pants and across the room. It almost hit his boss in the back. Oops. Can you say automatic failure? So, then he tells us that the cap was in his pocket. Can you say ...ummmm no. That's why we have you empty your pockets there guy. Not the brightest crayon in the box was this guy. Lets just say he's unemployed. Then there was the lady to day that kept talking to herself while I was in the restroom with her. "come on pee come on". I joke you not. I can hardly keep a straight face when they do stuff like that. I mean, I'm sure part of it is nerves, but hello. Now, I will say, our fail rate right now is right around 1.5% so, it's really small. So, for every one of these people that gives us a good laugh, there are 99 regular nice folks coming thru. We had one today fail for cocaine. He tried to tell us that he "bummed cigarettes all the time and if there was something in his system- it had to be from that". Not. Or the marijuana guy that tried to say he failed from eating a poppy seed bun. That's not happening either. You have to eat 15 pounds of poppy seeds a day for many days straight to fail on something like that. And I don't know about you, but I can't see myself eating 15 pounds of poppy seeds a day once- let alone many times.

On other notes, the boys made it home fine. Apparently they had one glitch and that was getting on the first hwy. and went the wrong way. He caught on quick, u-turned it and they were fine after that. They are home and following all directions. Little Man is not feeling well tonight and that worries me. However, they have a pediatrician there in town and he is 17 so by TX law, he can sign for himself. They got up ok for school today. They were home before curfew. And they have already showered before 10. Mom is happy.

Ice Cube and Ruth are on their way here with Little Bit. They were supposed to stay at Ruth's grandma's house tonight and I wasn't supposed to see them until tomorrow night. But due to a serious glitch in their travel plans, they were over 2 1/2 hours later leaving than they had planned so a big thanks to my Partner in Crime who has given them last minute permission to crash on her floor and been so understanding with it all. And all it's costing me at this point is sleep. I can't crash as my eye lids are so seriously telling me that I need to do. I have to stay up till 11:30 waiting on them to arrive so that they don't disturb anyone else. And then b up at 5 in the morning. But hey, it's only sleep right.

Well, off here to shower tonight. Maybe getting in the shower will help me stay up until the kids arrive. Of course, to add insult to injury, there are bad storms moving thru and they got caught in them. So, now, I get to worry about the kids being on the road during the bad weather on top of everything else. For anyone that thinks that once your kids grow up and move out that you get to quit worrying- dream on. Take care y'all

Mostly wordless Weds...

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