YAY

     I talked to Elmer this morning.  He calls me "memaw".  So, I said - "memaw loves you" .  And he said "memaw wuvs me".  Well, he has that right.  Ruth called me to confirm the exchange for this weekend.  He was in a good mood and willing to talk.  With him- it's always hit and miss.  Sometimes he'll chat your ear off and sometimes he won't even take the phone.  I got lucky today.  2 more days and that little boy will be in his daddy's my arms.  Ok, so daddy will get him first.  He's going with me this trip to get the sweet boy.  All he's been able to talk about for days is missing the baby.  We went and got him a bike for Christmas.  A big boy bike.  Ok, it's not really "big" because he's not that tall yet but it is one of the 12 inch 2 wheelers with training wheels.  He peels out with his tricycle all the time.  And he really loves to take "walks" with his bike.  We walk - he rides.  I got Halloween cake mix and we'll bake some cupcakes while he's here this time.  I really should find my Halloween decorations and get them up before he comes huh?  Eh, maybe next year.  Most of them are breakable and I don't know as I want them in pieces.  ; )  We'll do something with him Halloweeny....(yeah, so it's not a word but y'all know what I meant).  Do I sound like a total doting grandma?  I am!  I miss him when he's not here.  He's little arms hugging on me and the way he climbs on my lap when he gets tired to snuggle.  


     In other good news.... Hurricane got a job and found a trailer.  He's going to put a small trailer on the property down at his address (we have 3 addresses for the property).  He was down there yesterday cleaning up a bit and starting to rake stuff up.  There's a lady that has a pull behind trailer for $500.  H went to look at it and it was in good structural shape.  He said he would have had to clean it - his actual words were "lots of bleach mom" and replace the carpet but like I told him - a carpet remnant from like Home Depot or Lowes and he could have gotten new carpet for it at a good price.  Anyhow, we're looking into things like that and then he's going to start building a house on his little piece of property.  Or he'll buy a modular and put it up.  I'm fairly excited by this turn of events too if you can't tell.  Having him close enough to visit but not living with me.  


     Well, back to my game.  My Rangers game is on and I'm an addict.  I totally admit it. 2 hour and 13 minute delay for rain tonight.  This is the 4th game of the series and 3 of them have been affected by rain.  Almost a 2 hour rain delay in game one.  Game 2 postponed due to expected weather.  And now tonight.  The Rangers choked in a large way last night.  Tonight's game is in the 10th inning and tied up. Game 2 went into extra innings before Nelson Cruz hit a walk off home run in the bottom of the 11th.  This game is going into extra innings too so I've got to be eyes glued to the tv.  Sorry folks.  Hope everyone has a great night!  

Short

     Folks, I am seriously feeling the pain tonight.  So this might be the shortest post I've ever written.  However, knowing the way my fingers get going when I have something on my mind- there's no telling.....


     Ice Cube is on his way to a temp job.  I would love to see him get into one of these places full time.  This job tonight pays $12/hour.  Before he got with Ruth, he was doing so well.  He had 2 trucks, 2 jobs (one full time plus his umpiring job during baseball season), a wardrobe that would make a rock star jealous and just about anything a 17 year old kid could dream of having.  He had worked since he was 14 and had done really well at being responsible and saving money.  He quit jobs to move where she wanted - not cross town but 3 hours across the state.  He got another good job in Austin and then she wanted to move back.  He traded in one truck to get her a new car and she wrecked the other one.  When they split up, he had nothing.  Now - I tried to warn him.  When he wanted to trade in his good truck after she wrecked the other one - I told him "NO!".  But in the way of young love, he was sure that they'd be together forever and he just wanted to make her happy.  So, when they split up, she has a car and he got an old beat up motorcycle.  It gets him to work.  But all he has to do is get his foot in to one of these places down here.  He can start climbing the ladder and get back to where he was.  He and Ruth agreed to a really reasonable amount of support and  she even admitted to the lady that he had been paying support before they went to court and didn't ask for back support.  His medical issues that he'd had there at the end have been resolved and he's healthy again.  


     Hurricane just pulled in.  He's going to look for anything in his field down here.  He and Donna would like to put a house out here on the property.  Vix had me make the call to the 911 people today and get 2 more addresses for the property.  One address is for where she and Cal are putting their house.  The other address is for whichever of the boys takes the other drive/clearing.  If I can get these 2 older boys back on their feet and moving in the right direction again - not that they really went in the "wrong" direction but some of their choices would not have been the ones that I would have made for them.  And the paths they have travelled have not exactly led to smiles and happiness (which I could have predicted but who listens to me- I'm just the mom).  I have hope though that they'll move on into smiles now.  


    Well, H is here and as I've been sitting on the phone talking to Ms Minnie, we're mildly amused.  Samples of conversation going on around here:


B - I hit LM in the nuts with a curve ball the other day --- mad laughter. H jumping up and down laughing.  


Ms Minnie:  What size do the boys wear.  Me:  LM - what size shirt do you wear? H:  "fat".  LM:  you're going to have a fat lip


H: LM did you check your boobies?  It's breast cancer awareness month.  


Yes.... the boys are here.  Wonder how long till I get a headache

mediation

     Mediation went well I guess.  I really don't have a lot of details because Ice Cube is cool like that.  He's male and doesn't much talk.  I know from Ruth's call that they must have been in there about an hour and a half because she said Uncle Hurricane chased Elmer for that length of time during mediation.  Ruth thought that Ice Cube should have to drive both ways for pick up and return.  She wasn't really thrilled to hear from the mediator that he was supposed to drive all the way one way (about 12 hours round trip) and she was supposed to drive all the way the other.  She asked if they could still continue to meet in the middle and the mediator told her that yes, they could.  I do know this- it was the trip from hell for IC.  


     IC has class on Monday nights.  This is not something that he can miss.  So he had to leave to start this 6 hour journey for mediation after 9 PM.  At 12:36, I got a text from him (or my phone did because I never heard my phone go off) that the chain had broken on his motorcycle.  In Dallas of all places.  So, Hurricane jumped up and started the journey to find him.  Having no time to fix IC's bike in time for him to get to court the next morning, Big brother takes him the other 3 hours in on his crotch rocket.  Now, don't even get me started on how I feel about these boys riding motorcycles.  Gas wise- it makes a lot of sense.  Safety wise however.... ugh is all I can say.  I hate it.  But they're both adults (at least as far as the law says) and therefor, the choice is not mine.  So, 6 hours round trip with IC on the back of that dang death trap.  Thanks to big brother for rescuing him though.  One of these days, these younger boys will learn to appreciate all that the big brother has done for them.  Luckily, it was H's day off work.  Back from mediation, H gets one of his friends with a truck to go pick up IC's bike.  My sister helps him get a chain and H and the friend help him fix his bike.  He heads back home and misses his Weds night class.  Good thing he was there Monday right? 


     Child support set.  Visitation worked out.  Holidays to fall back on the state schedule if they can't agree on anything else.  IC not at all unhappy.  Exact amount of child support?  No idea.  TX goes with 25% of gross income for one child.  That's how it works.  Ruth's mom?  Well now that woman is another story.  She's the one pushing for all the court stuff.  She's even gone on the baby's page and posted mean things about IC on his wall.  Now, IC has the log-in info to Elmer's page so once it's seen, he just deletes it.  And I told him to not say anything mean to Ruth about it.  I mean- it's not her doing it.  It's her mom.  It's not like she can say anything to her mom because she lives with her mom and her mom could boot her out.  Of course, then I guess she could move in with her new bf but...  


     Well, back to the trenches.  I need to get my floors mopped this morning.  The kitties are playing.  Running thru the house like they've had an overdose of catnip.  Right now they're playing king of the couch.  B is ready to boot them both out the door but I enjoy them.  I see issues coming.  Eh, enough playing this morning.  Must work.  Must work.  ;)  Have a great day!  

enlightenment

     I missed 2 days of posting.  So very sorry!  We had some weird stuff happening around here again.   What's new right?  I spent over an hour yesterday talking to Hurricane on the phone.  We were discussing some path choices that Ice Cube has been making.  Things that I don't always agree with.  I'm getting used to this with having kids.  I found out long ago that you can't pigeonhole them into the box that you, as a parent, want or force them down a particular path.  I didn't always agree with Hurricane either when he was Ice Cube and Little Man's age.  As a matter of fact, I'm fairly sure that some of our disagreements were loud enough to knock the world off its axis.  And I finally asked him yesterday - what happened?  I told him - I remember you saying some of the same garbage that your brother parrots back at me now.  (The younger ones aren't very original.  I've usually heard any and every hateful word spouted before from one of the older 2).  He said:  "There comes a time when you come to the end of the tunnel.  And you either see the light or hit a wall".  How insightful.  What wisdom from the mouth of a 23 year old.  That may be my new favorite quote.  And I learned something new.  


     You either see the light or hit a wall....  What truth to that statement in life.  When you are stuck in a rut - when something in life is getting you down - when circumstances have you on a path - you're either going to see the light and survive or you're going to hit a wall.  And when you hit the wall, what choice do you have but to change.  So, my son told me - he saw the light.  Did he apologize for all the nasty, hateful things he said along that path to enlightenment?  No.  Did I expect him to?  Bwahaha.  No.  I'm just happy that he saw the light.  Now - either his brother (s) will have to find their own ways too.  But at least I have proof that the things I taught didn't go in one ear and out the other without any stops in between.  


     Here's what I learned.  You can monitor your kids to death.  You can be a control freak (which I am) and rule them to death.  You can be sneaky and search their stuff and sneak read their phones.  You can stalk their pages, twitter, social pages and hack emails.  You can ground them till they hate you and you can limit their free time till they feel like they're in a cage.  None of that is going to stop them once they make their mind up on a choice.  If your child decides to have sex - they're going to do it.  The only question is how much they're going to lie to you to make the point and in some cases - if they'll be protected or not when they do it. Because if they can't get protection, that's not going to stop them either.  They'll just try the "pull-out" method (which is so ineffectual as to be absolutely stupid and worthless).  If your child wants to try a cigarette, the fact that you don't smoke won't stop them - they'll get one some place else.  And you're not a "bad parent" if your child steps off the path the approved path.  Keep trying to re-direct them and hope they stumble back over.  And if not, hit them hard in the back of the head and hope you knock them back.  Just kidding folks.  My boys are all bigger than I am.  They all out-weigh me and they're all taller than I am.  I was just joking.  Smacking them is not an acceptable method.  You're better off putting a target on the wall and banging your head into it anyhow.  It would yield the same results.  


    Anyhow,  in the middle of all that enlightenment yesterday, my current problem child blew the tire on his motorcycle.  I had to call the school and get B to leave school (luckily after 4th block) and go pick up Mr. Hard head (better known as IC) and the motorcycle and get it to the shop.  The shop that was closed.  So they dropped the bike off and came back home.  Well, started back home.  We got B that nice, pretty truck with the non-working gas gauge.  Yep, he ran out of gas.  So, mom had to go grab a gas can and run gas up to them. I had him follow me to the store and gave him his weekly gas money.  B was like "I should have 20 miles left".  Mom who pulls no punches said - quit jumping on the 5.9 8 banger and it won't drink gas like that.  What?!?!  It's the truth.  And my smart a**ed child just looked at me and grinned like - you caught me.  And last night when he said "I want S*bway" - I said "It just went in your gas tank".  He'll learn.  And this morning - that nice, pretty truck is sitting in the drive.  Toni drove to school today and she picked him up.  See?  He's learning already.  Well, now off to the shop to drop the tire off for the bike.  


     On another note- it might be moving into fall here in the land of unending heat.  We're supposed to leave triple digits and get a cool front this week.  Our highs Thursday and Friday are supposed to be in the low 90's.  Looking forward to hopefully finally getting outside and getting some yard work done this weekend.  Hopefully.  Hope everyone had a good weekend and all my friends on the East coast are hanging in there and getting electricity back.  Hugs all!

Hurricane Irene

     Quite honestly I don't have much to write about tonight.  It's sort of been a laid back day.  The kids and I hung out and watched a Walker Texas Ranger Marathon while I flipped over to news about the Hurricane every hour.  I have family and friends living all along the east coast.  A good friend of mine has been in New Yawk (as she pronounces it) with her family visiting when this hit.   Another good friend in VA that (I graduated with) I spoke to for over an hour last night.  He said that they had opened up all the parking garages in his area for free parking due to the area being prone to flooding.  He had driven his car over and parked it in a garage and then walked home.  Some other friends of mine (again from high school) are up in MD.  They travel on their yacht (don't even get me to go there right now LOL) and had "hauled in the yacht" and pulled down the sails and had gone to a friends house to wait out the storm.  For those of you (like me) who had no idea what they meant about "hauling in" - they actually had the boat removed from the water because they thought it would be safer.  I also have a friend (that used to live here in TX) that lives in Bawwwston now.  I have an aunt in VA.  A cousin in NC.  And a couple of cousins that live in FL.  And one of our very own blog buddies - Lori - lives in VA too.  


     My kids asked me today - why are you watching the hurricane stuff mama- it's not going to hit here.  I was watching for news of where I have friends.  I only had to tell them once and then they suffered in silence the rest of the day as I flipped back and forth with the channels.  


     Other than that, I tortured the kitties today - better known as a flea bath.  I also powdered them down and sprayed them with kitty smell good.  I was most unpopular with Jake and Eddie after that.  They've made it their goal today to pay me back for the injustice that I made them suffer thru.  They've tried to climb my curtains, almost got murdered by B for trying to yank the xbox controller out of the machine while the boys played, trying to claw up Toni's computer case, thought it might be fun to chew on B's homework, and found an open cabinet door and tried to rearrange all my canned goods.  I have a spray bottle of water that we spray at them when they're into something that they're not supposed to be in to.  It's gotten loads of use today. 


     I did touch base with my mom tonight to see if she had heard from my aunt in VA.  She had an auntie is fine.  Loads of rain and wind and she thought she heard a tree come down but she's surviving. I was catching mom up on some of the kids that I went to school with.  Kids that she knew from them hanging out at the house or because I was in Show Choir or Orchestra with them.  We were talking about reunions and I said I had my 30th coming up in a few years.  She's got her 55th this year.  Wow.  Now I don't feel so old.  ; )  


     Anyhow, I saw this post today and I really would like to share it with y'all.  Feel free to check this out.  She's a great blogger and fun to read.  Mom and Bonus mom.  And this was a subject that touched her heart.  It hit a nerve with me when I read the post as menopause is right around the corner for me.  So head on over to Cyndy's page and enjoy!  God bless. 

School

     School starts tomorrow.  I'm torn.  For one, I'm so happy to be back in a routine.  But then again, the routine gets old.  And in a few weeks, I'll be missing the lazy days of summer and the lack of routine.  I wish they'd break it up to like, Go to school for 6 weeks - get 2 weeks off.  That way we got a bit of a break more often and the kids would never have so much time off to get bored.  


     It's been a mostly lazy weekend here.  Nanny gave me a dresser and a bookshelf.  I spent today taking out an old desk that I hated and setting up what  she was kind enough to give me.  It makes a big difference in my guest bedroom.  I'm still working but it already looks really different.  I was able to unpack the bag of clothes that Hurricane leaves here and put them away.  Why does he leave clothes here?  He got a motorcycle.  Rather than bring clothes back and forth on the bike, I told him that it made more sense for him to just leave some things here.  He doesn't leave a lot here.  Just a few changes for visits.  


     Had a good visit with Jo today.  She is going to OK tomorrow to try and see her baby.  He told her that she could definitely see her baby.  Then the attorney told her attorney that she could get the baby.  Now his attorney won't answer the phone so she has no idea if she'll get to bring the baby home with her or not but she should hopefully get to at least see the baby.  Would it be bad of me to say that I wish Little Man still dated her?  He and his new gf just bicker back and forth so much.  Not that the new gf is a bad girl.  She's really very nice.  It's just that they mix like oil and water.  As a mom, that's so hard to watch.  


     Sorry for a short post but I still have to finish up a few things so that B can start school tomorrow.  And bed time needs to come early.  Hope y'all had a great weekend.  See y'all tomorrow!

Thanksgiving 2010

     So, it's Thanksgiving!  Hope y'all have a wonderful day and for those of you on diets, don't sabotage yourselves too much.  ;)

     It a bag of mixed blessings around here this year.  Hurricane and Donna are not coming.  This will be the first time ever that H. is not at the Thanksgiving Day table.  Well, couch since I haven't had a table in years.  What happened to my table?  Oh its a boy thing.  One night while I was next door visiting my friend, Sharon, Ice Cube decided that it would be cute to "dukes of hazard" across my kitchen table.  Problem was, IC was like 15 and going on 6 ft tall.  He broke the table legs right off and all of Amy's boys couldn't figure out how to put it back together again.  But they sure did think it funny that IC ingloriously hit the ground with the table.  Donna said that they're not coming because I've been sick.  Which with Cal's physical problems, it really isn't healthy for him to be exposed to any germs.  But, after H's last conversation with me,  I think it was a convenient excuse. Here's the big, bad admission - I don't miss kristi at all after all these years.  She's been off doing her own thing, screwing up her life, and jumping from guy to guy for so long - that I'm used to her not being here.  But Hurricane and Donna?  Donna has been here for the holidays for 7 years.  Hurricane - well, his whole life.  

     However, on the other side.  Last night a group of kids showed up over here.   Curt came before work.  3 other boys play guitar too and I had an impromptu concert in my living room.  Unfortunately, only Dane had his guitar so they were passing his around but they told me that they're all bringing guitars either tonight or tomorrow.  I don't remember which night they're all coming back.  Knowing this group of kids- probably both nights.  I love having a group of kids sitting around chatting and well, these are boys so they're bragging and talking smack.  But they were also playing pass the guitar and singing.  And they promised me an encore performance so... I know they'll come cheer me up later.  We have also been invited to dinner with Carol and Colby.  My other friend, Sharon, assures me that I'll have a good time once I get there.  


   And Randi and Cass are coming today.  That will be a good time.  I've missed my Randi and I'm looking forward to seeing her.  And Cass is loads of fun so that will be a good time all around.  


   Actually, despite the fact that Hurricane won't be here, I'm really looking forward to today.  And with the rest of the weekend bound to be a bit hectic, I'm sure it will be a great weekend full of love, laughter, and friends.  And some kids who appreciate me a bit more than my own do.  


    Time to get cooking.  I'm making my turkey and fixings tomorrow.  Happy Turkey Day all!

The bad blogger is back

     I'm baaaaaack!  I'd love to tell you that it's better than before but truthfully, it will probably still be the same old drivel.  


     Saturday night went as planned.  B went bowling with Toni.  Several kids came over and hung out quietly.  And I mean quietly.  Curt brought the guitar over and humored me.  It was peaceful and relaxing.  And then they left and I went to bed.   I slept for hours and hours.  And Sunday, I was a vegetable.  I watched the boob tube and slept all day long.  Yesterday, I finally started feeling better.  I had to spend the day finding the house from a weekend of me being worthless sick.  I spent the day doing laundry and finding the house and then went to bed early.  So - my blogging has been non-existent. Sorry.  I was dying.   Ok, really not but I sure felt like I could.  


     Now on to the news.  Randi (the girl) and her roommate, Cass, are coming this weekend.  Ruth is on here way here now with Elmer and will be back on Friday for dinner.  Hurricane and Donna were supposed to come this weekend too but I don't expect to see them.  H. copped an attitude about Randi and Cass coming down.  Now, was this attitude because Donna gave him an attitude about it?  I don't know.  What I do know is he was totally disrespectful and rude.  He told me that I "wasn't his parent", that I needed to "learn my place", and several other equally rude things.  For whatever reason, he thinks that he can do what he wants, when he wants, talk to whoever he wants, however he wants and be totally disrespectful and rude and then try to call it "honesty".  Well, when he started his 2 hour barrage of insults last night, I just tried to agree with him.  When he got upset about the girls coming, I apologized.  That wasn't good enough.  He wanted to fight.  He thinks he's above the rules.  He tells me to "act like a parent" and then when I tell him he can't do something or talk to me with disrespect, then he tells me that I'm "not his mom".  A friend of mine asked me today if he acts that way with Vix?  He wouldn't dare.  He lives under her roof.  She feeds him, gives him gas money, and Vix and Cal have made his car payment for years.  So, basically they've bought his good behavior towards them.  Since I see no reason why I should hand him any more money when he lives rent free and he's already getting so much from Vix and Cal.  He gets so much money from Vix and Cal that any time the other kids need something, well, we don't even ask.  I mean, when B had a fund raiser, I called.  But anything else, we manage.  The relationship between Vix and Cal and the rest of the kids has been damaged by all this.  They are sure that Vix and Cal don't care for them as much as they do for Hurricane.  A myth that Hurricane loves to encourage.  Yes, it's a myth.  But when things happen like yesterday when Hurricane says that he's "special and he's the only one that Cal said could hunt here on the property", well, yet another brick goes up in the wall.  Or when Hurricane comes down here (while I was at the fair) and tears the property up with his truck out back showing his tail and then goes back and tries to blame it on Little Man and B and their friends and Cal calls/texts LM with false accusations - well another brick goes up in that wall.  Next question that I see coming?  Have I talked to Vix and/or Cal about any of this?  Yes.  Vix and I have spoken.  And she does damage control as best she can.  Cal?  Well he has a blind spot where Hurricane is concerned.  And with Cal's health issues, Vix shelters him from a lot of this.  LM tries to tell Cal the truth, but he doesn't always listen.  He doesn't see that Hurricane is trying to damage Cal's relationship with his brothers.  Why?  Jealousy.  All of his little stupid things come from jealousy.  He's jealous of his brothers.  And those insecurities that he has with himself, no one else can help him with.  Again, a path he has to walk for himself and find his own way.  Until he learns to love himself, he'll never trust that anyone else loves him.  And until he stops equating money with love, he'll be lost.  


     Well, already long story longer.... Hurricane is not coming for the holidays.  I'm torn.  I love my son.  He's my oldest boy.  I miss the young man he was before he started down this path that he's on.  Before he equated money with family and respect.  Before he got too big for his britches.  But, I don't want to deal with drama and jealousy.  I don't want a holiday ruined because Hurricane wants to hurt his brothers and make himself feel better about himself by telling his brothers that he's more important to their god-parents than they are.  By him coming down here and doing damage so that he can run back and tell Cal that the boys committed damage that he actually did - just to cause more problems. His last message said he was still going to come down here but he just wouldn't see me.  Which means he's not coming to this house.  Camping back on the property maybe.  No idea.  Hope he has a license.  Those illegal tickets are a big deal.  One of LM's friends got one and it was over $1600.  


     Well, for now, must go.  I have to go get diapers and wipes and other necessities.  Ruth and Elmer will be here in a few hours.  I'm looking forward to their visit.  Yes, their visit.  Y'all have a great day.  

Life with Boys

     So, a friend of mine was talking today about her step-son.  He doesn't like to do much besides play video games and watch TV.  That brought back lots of memories.  That wasn't a problem I had with my boys when they were young.  


    My boys were good at inventing trouble games to play.  They came up with one called "Roller Coaster".  This involved putting one of the smaller 2 boys in a laundry basket while Hurricane swung the basket around in the air.  This game ended badly when the side of the laundry basket broke and B went flying thru the air and went head first into the refrigerator.  That little mishap experiment cost B a trip to the ER and 4 staples in the head.  


     Then there were the indoor baseball games they created.  They were at least good smart enough to use a soft ball.  AFTER they put the harder one thru the wall.  That little adventure also taught them how to patch holes in the dry wall.  


    And let us not forget when they learned how to build.  The neighbor guy was kind enough to build them a vert ramp.  They dismantled it and turned it into a ramp/slide that was so tall, they were climbing up onto the shed roof to get to the top of it so that they could slide down it.  On a toddler teeter totter.  Yep.  Those are my kids.  


   Then Hurricane learned to drive.  And he was smoking in my car.  Another big no-no.  And he dropped his cigarette and leaned down to get it.  With B in the front seat.  And no seat belt.  Another set of brain dead forbidden actions broken rules.  And B's poor head - paid once again.  6 butterfly bandages to fix that one.  (by this point and time - I carried butterfly bandages in my purse).  


    I've lived thru 2 emergency appendectomy surgeries, 10 eye surgeries, broken bones, Ice Cube has had stitches in his head twice (thanks Little Man), several other sets of stitches, 3 knee surgeries (Ice Cube thanks to Hurricane tackling him in a backyard football game - yet another broken rule), shoulder surgery for a torn rotator cuff (B), 2 wrist surgeries (Little Man - breaking the rules yet again) and countless other trips both to the ER and the pediatrician.  


    And people wonder why I don't freak out over girlfriend issues or a punch thrown here and there?  Such is life with boys.  I'm usually just happy if there's no blood or anything broken involved.  Whether broken involves something about in my house or one of them.  


    Welcome to Amy's World!  

Randomness

     So, on the Hurricane front.  Actually, I did mail his ID.  I stuck it in the mail yesterday.  He should have it today or tomorrow.  I didn't stick a note or anything else in it.  He hasn't tried to call, nor has he had Donna try to call for him like he's done in the past.  It's well past time for that child to grow up and learn some responsibility.  He still has Vix and Cal bailing him out on a regular basis but there's nothing I can do about that.  He thinks he's all grown up but he's still living with someone, pays no bills, and really has no responsibility.  But, this "worthless" mom is done listening to it.    


     B got his grade card today.  5 A's, 2 B's (an 88 and an 89) and a C.  I will say that I'm not thrilled with the C but I'll live with it since the next lowest grade he had was an 88.  I did tell him that the C he had needed to come up in the next grading period and he said ok.  So, fingers crossed that he applies himself enough to pull it up.  I'm really proud of him actually.  He had a high B in English (which involves way more reading than he can do well with his eyes) and an A in Spanish.  My mom said he'd needed to stay home more but I'm thinking that so long as his grades stay where they are (with the exception of the one that needs to come up) and his behavior is still good, than this is working.  


     I got a text message from B yesterday.  He had stayed after school to watch Colby's football practice.  Now, this works for me.  This brings B to the attention of the coaches and will help them know who he is when baseball season comes around and its time for try-outs.  The text message said that he and Colby wanted to know what I was making for dinner.  So, that was my clue that I was feeding people last night.  So, we had spaghetti and meatballs and I threw a loaf of garlic bread in the machine to bake.  I was most popular with the kids who stopped thru here last night.  And spaghetti is such an easy thing to throw together.  Such a cheap bribe for the hugs it gets me.  *read with the humor intended as I get the hugs whether I cook or not*


     I got the rest of the back hallway finally painted today.  I didn't get a lot done yesterday.  I spent the day in a lot of pain.  This decrepit old lady really took a beating walking the 4,728 miles fair on Tuesday.  I don't know where these kids get the energy.  I had B, Little Man, and Colby.  As well as B and Colby's girlfriends and one of his cousins all walking with me.  As soon as I find my camera, I'll get it hooked up to a computer and get the pictures up.  I was thanked repeatedly by the kids who were with me.  They were all really good while we were there.  And I believe a good time was had by all.  


     Now, the 2nd post season game for the Rangers is about to start.  This is the first time that the Rangers have made it to the post-season in 11 years.  They won their first post-season game yesterday after 9 straight losses.  Cliff Lee threw a beast of a game and led the Rangers to a 5-1 victory.  This is post-season play time in a household where the mommy is a baseball addict fan.  If my children are lucky, I'll feed them tonight but in all reality, they'll probably get fed leftovers since I'll be obsessed watching the baseball game.  Well, the first pitch is about to be thrown out.  But, a quick shout out to Roy Halladay from yesterday's game (he plays for Philadelphia not the Rangers).  Halladay pitched the first no hitter in post season play since 1956.  So congrats Doc!  Now it's time to.....


PLAY BALL!  

Disowned again

     For all of you step-parents who think that your children are unappreciative, ungrateful wretches towards you just because you didn't give birth to them....


This post is for you!


     Last weekend when the boys were here, Hurricane and LM went to the beer store.  Now, why Hurricane put his ID in LM's wallet- beyond me.  Why he didn't bother to get it back out- also beyond me.  I knew nothing about any of this until after Hurricane and Ice Cube had left to head home.  Then LM came to me and told me that Hurricane had left his ID and would I take it with me yesterday when I went to the fair.  It was a 3 sentence conversation.  3 sentences.  Would I take Hurricane his ID.  Yes.  LM was putting it in my purse.  I was trying to fix my phone cord at the time.  Fix my phone cord you ask?  Yes, because while I was out of town, Hurricane and Donna thought that they had the right to make a trip to my house.  Bring a friend with them and in the course of one of their too many to count fights- they ripped the phone cord out of the back of my phone (which H turned around an lied to me about btw).  Anyhow, as I was busy trying to fix yet another thing that had gotten broken when people who shouldn't have been here while I was gone were here - I really wasn't paying much attention to the whole conversation which promptly slipped my mind.  


    So, yesterday.  I got to the fair shortly after 9 AM.  We were there till after 4.  (we had an absolutely wonderful time which is the subject of another post complete with pictures but .... )  During those 7 hours, I heard not a single word/text/call/message from Hurricane.  Shortly after 5 yesterday evening, he texted wanting to know if I were still at the fair.  Nope, by then I was totally exhausted and on my way home.  3 boys in the back seat.  Nanny riding shotgun.  And all of us feeling like we'd been run over by a bus.  So, when I got the text from Hurricane about his ID, I apologized.  I told him that I would put it in the mail today.  (at that point, my only option or to have him drive down to get it).  So, then the garbage started.  I'm "crazy", "worthless", a "poor excuse for a parent".  I had "better take him off my fb as my child or else."  A "real parent would have driven his ID to him."  It's only a better than 30 mile drive thru Dallas traffic.  It only takes around 40-45 minutes if there are no accidents or rush hour traffic.  So of course it is my responsibility to take that almost 2 hours and run out of my way to take him his ID that he forgot.  (yes please read with all sarcasm intended there).  Why ever would it be his responsibility to make the effort to contact/meet up with me?  I should have just ignored my other plans and cancelled out on Nanny to run the almost 2 hours over to Vix and Cals house to give him his ID that he forgot.  He also told me that if "I were lucky, I might see him for Christmas."  Well, I'm thinking if he only wants to come around for Christmas- then I won't bother then either.  Obviously, he only wants presents if that's the case.  Of course, he also borrowed $25 from his brother while he was here that brother hasn't seen returned.  When I asked about the money, Hurricane told me that "he'd drop it in the mail like I was his license."  I told LM that this is why I wouldn't loan money to Hurricane when he asked to borrow it.  


     I'm just not allowed to have a life.  My friend, Sharon, (my old neighbor) and I spoke last night on my way home.  She and I talked about the fact that every single time I have tried to make plans even with a girlfriend to do something for myself, the kids start drama that night.  One night when she and I were going out to dinner together, it was LM fighting with James over the stuff that James stole from the house.  Of course, I heard from Hurricane over that situation and he was all against his brother.  His brother was wrong for being upset over us getting robbed.  The next night that Sharon and I tried to go out to dinner, it was the night that Hurricane and Donna decided to invite one of their friends to come down to my house and not a one of them bothered to mention this to me.  Then yesterday, I had plans with Nanny.  First LM wants to take off work and come along.  Well, I give him props for this much of the trip.  The way to the fair where it was just Nanny and me- he stayed in the backseat with his head phones on and listened to music and didn't bother us at all.  But then on the way home, here we go with drama with Hurricane yet again.  


    My good blog friend, Sharon, mentioned this morning that Hurricane is just so jealous.  I see that too.  Every time I turn around he's upset about his brothers, their friends, my time.  He acts like I'm on this world to do nothing but jump when he says to jump.  And he can't quite deal with the fact that this doesn't happen and hasn't happened in years.  He seems to be having trouble transitioning to a new relationship with not only me but his brothers that is more of an adult relationship than where they were as younger children.  The boys no longer take everything Hurricane says as the gospel and something that they have to do.  Hurricane has had problems relating to his brothers in their new more mature state.  They changed while he was busy with his own life and he's not quite learned who they've become yet.  Just like he changed.  We all change in life.  Different experiences that we go thru will change how we react to things and how we look at circumstances.  But that doesn't give him the right to be rude and disrespectful all the time like he is.  


   So, for anyone that might think that your kid is treating you like dirt just because you're a step-parent?  We biological parents get to go thru it too.  Constantly.  

Ups and Downs

     What a weekend.  I'm so happy to be home!  But as much as I enjoyed seeing Hurricane and Ice Cube this weekend- I think it might have been better for me to get a few down days before the invasion visit.  I jest folks - I jest!  It was mostly a good weekend.  IC spent the better part of several days mad at me for asking him a question.  God forbid- I actually acted like a mother and questioned something that I had heard.  It was a rumor.  It was addressed as such.  And I believe that its mostly a matter of who he's hanging out with.  If you're friends with someone who has a reputation - that reputation will spill over onto you.  But how dare I question anything that he says or does?  On the plus side- both IC and H get along with Colby.  Colby and IC had a blast together Saturday night.  They laughed and joked and carried on like fools 2 kids having a blast.  It was good to see him having a good time.  It had been a while since I had seen that side of him.  So much of the time when I was in Old Town this last visit, he was upset or mad.  Ruth is gone a lot.  And not just for work.  She spends a ton of time hanging out with her dad.  So many nights when I was in town, IC was home with the baby while she was out with her dad.  It works for them.  And really, I don't care what they do if they're happy.  If that's what works for them..... it's sure not my place to change it.  


     Saturday night I got my yard cleaned up a bit more.  B and I drug a bunch of brush up from one of the trees that we lost in a storm.  I turned 5# of hamburger into sloppy joes and let the boys invite some friends over.  The normal crowd mostly.  B's 1st gf came over with another young lady that both she and B are both friends with.  I ended up with a yard full of kids including one with a guitar.  No one argued, no one acted up and I only had one (Colby) end up crashing here.  I have a bunch of kids telling me to hurry up and get those pictures off my camera and up online.  I haven't found my camera cord yet from my last trip back to the metroplex.  shhhhhh - don't tell anyone!  The brush - all gone.  From that tree.  We took one down yesterday that needs cut up.  The boys are going to cut me up some wood next weekend.  That's good cause my firewood supply is sadly depleted from last year.  How do I get my boys to go out there and do hard manual labor you ask?  I ask Colby to help me do something and when he says yes- the 3 boys get out there to do it and I get to kick back and watch.  Good plan yes?  


     So, both Hurricane and Ice Cube like Colby.  I mentioned that IC and Colby hung out like long lost brothers Sat night.  However, both of them act like they're jealous of Colby too.  I guess they better get over it.  Nanny introduced me to her MIL last night.  Told her MIL that "this is Ms Amy.  She and I are raising 3 boys together (LM, B, and Colby)".  Sunday morning the older boys got up and polished off a box of cereal.  When the 2 younger boys and Colby rolled out of bed then they wanted to go to the cafe for breakfast.  That sounded like a good idea to me!  I had nothing but cereal here.  We invited the 2 older boys to go with, but they wanted "to go hunting".  And I wasn't going to stay home just because they didn't want to go.  So LM, B and I jumped into Colby's truck and off we went.  They went hunting and then left the shotguns propped up against the house and came inside.  I'm less than thrilled about that.  


    So, good and bad this weekend.  But mostly good.  I got a tree taken down that's been worrying me.  I can get the top on the chicken pen now.  I got a ton of brush out of the back yard cleaned up.  I had a boatload of kids here Saturday night and everyone behaved.  The boys cleaned up after the party without me begging, pleading or screaming.  And I had a good weekend with the boys.  Now off to do the ONE thing still left from the party Sat night.  My kitchen floor.  Ugh.  Was no use mopping it yesterday with the boys doing yard work and coming in and out and the 2 older boys still here so .... today's headache.  Hope y'all had a great weekend!

home again home again jiggedy jig

     Tomorrow I head home.  I cannot wait!  I can't wait to see my monsters.  I can't wait to sleep in my bed.  I can't wait to cook.  Yes, I said I can't wait to cook.  I really can't.  I've only gotten two "home cooked" meals since I've been here.  Hurricane made one of them.  He did hamburgers out on the grill one night.  One other night, Ruth cooked and made a roast.   I want meatloaf or bbq chicken or some spaghetti.  I'd be happy with a frozen pizza right now.  Sad right?  I've been taken out to dinner numerous times by friends.  Its not that I haven't eaten.  But I really would love to have something that comes out of my oven.  

     Ruth and IC still at her mom's house.  It sure appears that the trip to my house isn't going to happen.  Supposedly the whole reason that I couldn't take Elmer to the fair was that if we took him to the fair - they wouldn't be able to meet up with her mom till this evening which would mean that they couldn't drive home till tomorrow.  So I gave up taking Elmer to the fair so that they could leave last night.  Supposedly if they left last night, they'd come home tonight so that IC could leave with me tomorrow.  HA.  That didn't happen.  Now, the story is that they're going to meet up with me tomorrow before I hit the highway.  Anyone wanna bet that this never happens?  So basically, I got ripped off.  I didn't get to take Elmer to the fair and I'll be surprised if IC gets to come home with me and see his brothers.  How mad will I be?  Probably not.  Why get mad?  Either he's going to cowboy up and stop giving up things that he wants and stop putting her family in front of ours or he won't.  Its his life.  He's the one that has to be happy.  So long as he's happy and doing well - it's not my business.  All I can do is to be here when he needs me. 

  Fair story of the day:  I had a girl today doing the happy dance in line.  She "had to go"!  Right then.  So by the time we got to the bathroom, she went to pull her pants down and squat and I heard this good large pop and urine went EVERYWHERE.  I mean on the toilet, the floor, down her pants and even all over the wall.  She said " I had been holding it for so long I really had to go."  I was biting my tongue and cheek trying not to crack up laughing in her face.  I knew what had happened.  She had had a balloon or condom with someone else' urine in it and it had broken all over her.  Can you say.... KARMA?  Oh and BTW... She failed.  She admitted to Teri (the lady that owns the company) what had happened.  No pride ethics sense of self worth sense in that girl was there?  

     Teri had a good one late this afternoon too.  He gave her a cold specimen.  For those of you who might not know what this means - it means it wasn't his urine.  There are temperature strips on the cups.  The strips turn blue/green someplace between 90-100 degrees.  No color on the temp strip = specimen not body temperature = someone trying to cheat (or a corpse walking around trying to get a job).  When Teri told him that she couldn't take his specimen, he pulled a wad of cash out of his pocket with a $100 bill on top and asked her if she couldn't .... "change her mind".  Ummmmm - no.  Not a chance.   Like Teri said- big wad of cash probably equals drug dealer looking for a free pass into the fair to deal more drugs.  That would be a bad deal.  


    So, I'm looking forward to heading home.  Homecoming is tomorrow night.  I'll be back in time to watch my extras boys play football. I'm looking forward to visiting with Carol.  Giving Carol, B and Colby their shirts (I'll take pictures of the shirts after I get them).  I look forward to seeing all the kids who will be coming up to me and giving me hugs.  I've so missed getting hugs.  

     Hurricane took care of my car today.  It was running rough.  There was apparently a june bug and a couple of butterflies and some other assorted things in my massively dirty air filter.  He checked all my fluids.  Went and got me a new air filter and put it in and did a few other maintenance type things that really needed done.  He went and did some Christmas shopping with me. And then he put the Rangers game on and watched the last few innings with me. Probably one of the most enjoyable times I've spent with him in I can't tell you how long.  Now we're laying in his room watching one of the stupidest movies I've ever seen.  Well, he and Donna are watching it.  I'm desperately trying to ignore it.  Well, there's a relief.  It's over.  Don't ask me what the name of it was - I really spent the last few hours tuning it out.  It was horrid.  Ok, well off here - it's late.  One more day.  The car is loaded - I'm ready to go.  I'll have to be careful to not speed on the way home.  


*keep smiling!*

Randomness

~  The viewing for my aunts funeral is tomorrow.  Funeral is Tuesday.  It sucks that I am unable to attend.

~  I don't know whether to be absolutely infuriated by these fools who either think I'm an idiot and won't notice them trying to pop a balloon under them with me standing in the bathroom or to just laugh at how absolutely ignorant they are.  

~  I am totally aggravated by Ruth's dad who thinks that because he owns the house, he owns the kids and that just because he wants Elmer to go to his house at 9 PM to stay with his roomie (who is really in no shape to be watching him at all) - that doesn't make it the law.  Especially when the baby is sick and is falling asleep and can be put in his own bed and not moved in the middle of the night.

~  I'm also aggravated by Ruth's dad because when he didn't get his own way and Ice Cube went ahead and we brought Elmer home and put him to bed here- Daddy dearest called Ruth and now the kids are fighting.  And I think that DD (daddy dearest) is going to push and push until he gets what he thinks he wants and doesn't really - cause he's going to be the cause of one fight too many and the kids are going to end up breaking up over his ignorant control freak stupidity.  

~  Little Man in a wreck today.  Of course while I'm here.  He was not driving.  He was a passenger.  The truck - totaled.  The 2 girls - taken to the hospital. Little Man's friend, Jason - 2 cracked ribs and sprained wrist.  LM - stubborn boy who refused to get in the ambulance and now is in major pain and can't move his head.  I think I have him talked into going to his regular Dr. tomorrow.  (Talked into = badgering him until he gives in and goes just to shut me up)

~  Hurricane and Donna decided that while I was here (in OLD town)- it would be a good time to take a trip there (NEW town).  Does anyone see any sense in that?  Yeah - but then Donna wants to say that I haven't tried to get to "know her"  - yep cause after 6 years (or more) of her dating my son, I don't "know" her at all.  *please read with any and all sarcasm intended*  Yep and I only found out that they were even headed there when I called to see if they might want to go to the fair today.  Yep.  So glad I bothered.  

~  Hurricane and Donna still at my house.  Fighting now between themselves.  This is really helping LM's headache (yeah, I know - Again with the sarcasm).  Now Hurricane is talking about driving back to Old Town tonight.  Yes - at 11:21.  This will leave his injured brother at home all alone with no one there in case of an emergency.  All because Donna is taking quite the fit.  Anyone wanna guess just how happy that will make me?  (I know- more sarcasm - it's one of those nights)  

~  I'm a thinking that bed sounds like a good place for me to be right now.  Any place else doesn't seem to be too safe.  I might fall and break something next.  ;)  Y'all have a great Monday.  (I'm really hoping that my Monday goes better than my Sunday did!)

Ready to go home....

     I'm here.  I have a ton of stuff to share.  If I can ever get some peace and time to get it all typed up.  It has been a whirlwind of a trip so far.  I have spent 2 days running around with Teri picking up things and cleaning the office and getting things set up.  The office opens in a few hours and I have to be at Teri's in just over an hour to head that way. 
      I miss my home.  I miss my boys.  I am not used to nor do I like being surrounded by concrete every place I look any more.  I feel claustrophobic.  I am not used to the hustle and bustle and rudeness that I see at every turn here.  People here just don't have the same manners that you see out in New Town and I had forgotten just how nasty they are.  Even people who are "friends" hanging out together don't treat each other with the same common courtesy that you see back in the country.  Hurricane left a snarky comment on my FB to the tune of "what about your boys here" when I said I missed bonfires, guitars and my boys.  This being after he pulled up to Ice Cubes house while I was there the other day and didn't even bother to say HI.  Not a word one.  Just dropped his brother off and started to pull away.  Makes me really want to bother taking time of what will be a very busy schedule to spend time with him yes?  NO.  I spent some time with IC yesterday and of course, I've spend time with Elmer.  IC seems to be having a bit of a problem with this different visit - that mom doesn't have time to just jump at his every wish or has other things to do this trip in some of which actually involve not being able to take Elmer with me.  Which btw - I always do.  I wish I could this time but I'm not here just to socialize this time. 


     I took some pictures going into the fair yesterday.  I will try to take some more as the set up continues.  They were planting the flowers and setting up the rides yesterday.  Its amazing how many people there are out there setting things up and getting things ready for the crowds to arrive.  They must plant thousands upon thousands of flowers.  Then they should be putting Big Tex up soon.  I'd google a picture of him and link it but ... well I'm horrid at all that stuff on this computer.  (Which reminds me of how much I miss my MAC at home!)  I will try to get the pictures off my camera and up on here soon so y'all can see some of what I'm talking about.  I really enjoy doing this.  I have a blast at the fair every year and know so very many of the people that are there every year now.  


     But I'm old and I sure do miss my bed.  And the laid back, country friendly attitude that I've become so used to being around.  And the fact that my boys there always act like they're glad to see me even if they've just been at school all day.  And the hugs that I get from Little Man and B as well as "my other boys" that hang out at the house.  Hugs are good for your soul don't ya know?  Hug your kids today for me folks.  I sure wish I was hugging a couple of mine!

The shirt

      So, as we left off last night, I had my feelings a bit hurt when Hurricane and Donna decided to go with Little Man to crazy Tina's house for a bbq.  Now, I really did understand that they wanted to see the cousin home from the military but said cousin is Little Mans age for one and Hurricane hadn't bothered staying up with him for the last 5 years so why now?  But off they went.  And I invited Nanny and Colby to come have dinner with me and B.  


     So, Colby got here before Nanny and we were all hanging out and then he said that LM would be here in about 10 min.  Well, I found that really odd because they had told me that they wouldn't be here for dinner.  And no one had told me that they were coming home.  Besides that, LM and cousin had had plans to go to the VFW and shoot pool all week and it was way too early for them to be done with that.  


    Well, Nanny had just arrived and I was finishing up dinner as we chatted when Hurricane came thru the door and tried to hand me a wet shirt saying "feel this".  I was like "OK".  Totally lost at this point.  So, Hurricane starts rambling off about LM's driving and how he did 95 mph on the way home (from the boy who made a 166 mile drive to get Donna in just over 2 hours the day before).  And it was "f" this and the "little mother f'er" that.  And Donna came in hollering and complaining too in her shrill voice.  Said that his driving had made her "sick".  (I can see that too folks- without a doubt).  I guess he hit the little county road that I fondly call the roller coaster and he drove it like someone that knows the road.  Which means at 60 mph.  Now, when Ice Cube drives that road, he does it at 30-35 mph.  It's really not a bad road when you know it - but for someone who has only been down it a time or two... well, yeah it can be a bit of a nail biter.  And I kept telling him "H, I have company".  His response: "Can I whip his a** mom, can I?"  Absolutely not.  Over and over, I'd tell him - we have company.  And they both continued to mouth as they packed up their stuff telling me that they were leaving to go home.  


      Where was LM in all this?  Well, he and B and Colby were outside chatting.  He came in, he gave Nanny a hug and he didn't have much else to say.  Hurricane tried to get him to go outside and fight him but LM wouldn't bite into that.  He did mouth back a bit but he mostly just ignored them other than telling them that they could just leave.  And he apologized to Nanny.  


    Long story short- Hurricane and Donna left in a huff.  Hurricane threatening that LM wouldn't have a car by next week because he'd have Vix and Cal come take it away (Not gonna happen).  Hurricane mad at me because I didn't rant and rave and scream at LM about his driving.  I should have started a big scene in front of the company here.  Not my way to start with.  What I have to say to LM about it all will be said in private - not in front of any type of audience and that includes his brother (s).  Hurricane not talking to me again because I "don't care" (his words) and Donna walked out the door without even saying goodbye to anyone.  LM didn't bring it up other than to say that he didn't have gas or money to go back to do what his plans were and he was highly pi**ed.  


     So, come to find out that this is what it was all over....  Hurricane played basketball with the boys and got sweaty.  The shirt he asked me to feel?  Drenched with sweat.  So, he wanted to come all the way back to the house (remember 80 miles round trip)... to change shirts.  He offered LM a whole $5 for all this driving.  LM said that no way would $5 cover it.  He ended up losing out on all his plans with his cousin.  So, James took me to brunch today.  Asked me if someone couldn't have loaned Hurricane a shirt?  I thought about it and thought... Yeah- there were 5 guys living at the house that are all his size or a little bigger.  I'm sure someone would have loaned him a shirt.  So, I don't know if the whole "I need to go home to get a dry shirt" was really what happened.  Or did the crazy Aunt Tina say something to upset Hurricane or Donna?  Or was Donna not having a good time and wanted to leave?  The world may never know....


    The funny part?  After all that complaining and fussing that Hurricane did about LM's driving?  When Hurricane and Donna went to leave.....


Hurricane backed into a tree.  


My night- not ruined.  Nanny and I sat and visited.  We had a good time.  LM, B and Colby - let us visit in peace.  Nanny and I watched a show on TV - visited a bit.  Chatted.  Had a good time.  I did have to call Vix to see if the kids got back ok.  They didn't bother to call (no surprise there).  And I had another productive day today.  

I do "nothing"... or so they say

      It's 2:30 in the afternoon and this is what I've done so far:

4 loads laundry

load dishes (x2)

unload dishes

counters (x3)

fill water bottles

pick up bathroom (x3)

tim's hat to bedroom

LM's drinks to his fridge

pick up water bottles

put LM's clothes away

put B's clothes away

sweep and mop front entry

sweep and mop boys bathroom

pick up wet towel from LM's room (x2)

laundry from B's room

sweep and mop my bedroom and bathroom

toilet and counter boys bathroom

cig ashes off stove (take all pieces off stove to get to the ashes)

LM's water and gatorade to his bedroom

pick up LM's cooler from in front of door

pick up house (laundry, dishes, empty gatorade and water bottles)

    Now mind you, I still have to cook dinner and sweep and mop the kitchen.  All while being in constant pain and feeling like my back is in a vice today.  


To add insult to injury - The Little Man with the big mouth popped off to tell me that I "don't do shit but sit on my tail and watch tv".  Why is it illegal to lock them up till they turn 30 and grow a brain?  And this as he has done nothing today but be the major contributor to the mess.  


To add more insult to injury - Hurricane, Donna and LM are at the crazy aunts house today.  Hurricane says he already told LM that Tina needs to not even talk to him and he's just going to see his cousin (home on leave from the marines after finishing basic training) but I have to go to the Dr in the morning so the last of the time that I would have gotten to see Hurricane before he leaves till Christmas so while I understand that he wants to see his cousin, I can't help but be more than a little hurt. Ok, who am I kidding?  I'm more than a "little" hurt and as per my normal reaction, I am beating myself up staying busy so that I don't lose my temper.  Especially since the only one here is B and I sure can't be mad at him when he's the one that refused to go over there after the way Tina did me.  So, I called Nanny and Colby and invited them over for dinner.  At least my house will be clean when they come right?  


Well, off here so that I can do more "nothing".  Hope y'all had a great weekend! 

From the womb?

Kristi and Hurricane are 1 week shy of 3 years apart. Hurricane and Ice Cube are a few months shy of 3 years apart. Little Man and B are a few months shy of 3 years apart. Then we have Little Man and Ice Cube. They are 18 months apart. To the day. Did I plan this? Not a snowballs chance in the hotter lower regions! In all honesty, I am one of the .1 % of women that can get pregnant on any given birth control. Now, 3 years apart in age - worked great! One was out of diapers before the next ones needing them. They're more independent. They want less attention from you. At 3 - its "I do it". Ice Cube and Little Man - they were at each others throats from birth. The first picture I have of the 4 kids together was for Christmas that year. Little Man (who is about 4 months old at the time) was grabbing a nice handful of IC's hair. It has never gotten better in the 17 years that have followed. Of course, I imagine that they couldn't have been any further apart personality wise if they had no shared DNA at all.

Before IC turned 4, he had gotten 2 sets of stitches in his head courtesy of LM. Once when he was trying to steal food off LM's plate, LM stabbed him in the head with a fork. Yes he did. Left the fork standing straight out of his brothers head. I kid you not folks. We didn't give LM a fork to eat with for many a year after that. Made him eat with a spoon. When the kids went to my mom's house for dinner one time, my mom set the table and IC told her. "no no gamma. LM don get no fok." It wasn't long after that that the kids were in the back yard playing - all 4 of them with a 6 ft privacy fence guys - and they got into it over a toy and LM picked up a 6" gate hinge and hit IC in the head with it. Back to the hospital for more stitches we went. Now, after that- either IC got smart and made sure there was nothing for LM to hit him with around when he instigated. Or LM got tired of not being allowed to play out of mom's arms reach because of him hitting people. Do not think that IC was Mr Innocent in all this. He wasn't. Were LM's reactions over the top and unacceptable. Yea but he was 2 and 3.

Last night, LM was hanging out at brothers house with oh so good friend, Casy. (and please read that with all the sarcasm intended). Casy was in a bad mood because he was fighting with his mom. Somehow, the 3 of them got mouthing back and forth because don't you know the testosterone was a flowing and couldn't any of them keep their mouths shut. By the time all was said and done, my 2 had gotten into it. LM was in his car with no gas and no money because he went down to old town on Casy's dime at Casy's invitation and Casy was supposed to put the money in his car for him to come home today. And yes, I spoke to Casy directly about this before the 2 left here. I laid into both of mine and Casy isn't free from the wrath of Amy yet by any stretch of anyone's imagination. LM - now with Hurricane. We will get him gas money today to come home on. He has said he won't go back now for the wedding. Not much of a surprise there.

I am cutting this visit short. Between the issues with my back and things I need to do here at the house, I am tired. I am not much in the mood for a visit right now. And weddings aren't really my thing. I am so worried about my back going out again, I'm scared to breathe. I'm not really thrilled about leaving town right now but I did make the commitment. My hermit tendencies are in full control right now and they are yelling at me to just stay home and close to the couch. However, if they win this battle, then its easier to let them win the next one too.

And if they win enough battles, then eventually they'll win the war. And I'm not willing to let that happen. See, if I had my way - I'd stay home 24/7/365. I'd much rather be a hermit and not deal with any people outside my little electronic devices. Keeps the demons in my imagination at bay. But I long ago learned, that if I let them gain ground - they don't give it back. For every little bit of freedom I've lost over the years, they make me fight twice as hard to get back that inch as I fought to keep it. So it's easier to fight the little battles - to keep what's mine. And so I'm going. But to preserve my back- I'm making it a shorter trip. Because I don't think Elmer will understand if grandma can't pick him up and swing him around like usual.

Well, off here to start lists for the ins company. They needs lists of the damages to my personal property. That and I have to get some money into LM's account so he can get home today. Keep smiling all!

Time to learn a lesson

For one - my children's antics cease to be amazing when they wake me up from a sound sleep. The amusement, the patience, the ability to tune it all out - fly right out the window. I go straight into downright aggravated with them in a heart beat. I know that my kids were taught these little things called respect and consideration. And waking people up in the middle of the night- well that's not showing either one of them. And let's go with the excuse - well it was really the dog that woke you up mama. Nope. Doesn't fly. See, if y'all weren't being so loud, the dog would be sleeping too. He whines when y'all are running in and out the front door laughing because he wants to go play with you. So, still your fault. Still you not being considerate or respectful.

Then, Tom had to rear his ugly head last night. And in this case- I blame Tara. Could she just ignore him? Could she just take the high road and tell him - too bad? No. She has to feed into his sick sense of stupidity. So, he contacts her and tells her that their divorce got kicked back. Proper response should have been: "Great. Ok. I'll see you in court. This way the judge can make a decision about all the stuff that I paid for and you're keeping." Plain and simple. End of discussion. But no. She decides to fall into his trap of whining about how he needs her. He has to speak to her. He can't do this and he just wants to be friends and get this worked out. And her dumb tail calls him. Why? Not. One. Good. Reason. It could have all been dealt with via email. And does Tom want to talk about the divorce? Of course not! Tom wants to talk about Guy A and Guy B. Tom wants to fight. Tom wants to argue about everything but the divorce. Tom doesn't want to be "friends". Tom wants control back. He's an abuser. A manipulator. And last night, she gave him a reaction. So she gave him what he wanted. She has got to get it through her head that the best way to get it thru his head that they're done is not to argue the point with him but to totally ignore his existence. She can see him in court and let the judge decide. She will be calling the court house here shortly to double check what he said last night because obviously he is untrustworthy.

Hurricane got a dose of Little Man's attitude last night. Hurricane called me this morning and he was a mighty unhappy camper. Little Man gave him a load of trouble last night. Blew him off this morning. And I was not a very sympathetic mommy type. See? As LM's attitude has gotten worse, I have discussed this with older siblings. I am the mean one because I've taken a hard line with him. They have listened and played into his poor me routine. Had we all joined in together months ago, we could have cut this off. Now, he's bound and determined to learn some lessons the hard way. I'm going to stand back and let him. Oh, I'll pick him up when he comes crashing to the ground. But I'm going to let him crash. Mr "I know it all" is going to learn a lesson.

A lot of parents want to protect their kids from all the hardships in life. And as a parent, I totally understand that need to protect your children from getting smacked down by life. But I believe in today's world, there is this need to build children up unrealistically. Kids used to have to do something to earn an award in school and in sports. Not today. Every child participates. A child doesn't show up for a practice one- he still gets to participate in games. Unfairly so too. Think about it. How fair is it to the other kids on the team who do show up for practices and work at the sport to lose playing time to a child who doesn't practice either at home or with the team? Or in school... A child might miss 20 days of school and be barely passing but at those end of school awards assemblies, not one child in the class is bypassed for some type of award. A friend of mine put her son in karate. She was bragging about the karate "tournament" that he won. A tournament that consisted of him being in one single match against one other child. That's not a "tournament". Should she have been proud of him for winning that match? Absolutely! But a tournament means you fight your way thru multiple kids in your age/belt group to get a winner out of the whole group. Here's what we have now. We have a whole generation of kids who think that they can never lose. They have been protected, coddled, and pandered to until they are totally unable to accept defeat or set backs in life. They think life should be "fair". And as any and every adult knows. Life is not fair. Never has been. Never will be.

There comes a time in life where you can over-protect your children. Where your goodness of heart in trying to protect them from their own mistakes keeps them from learning from those mistakes. Keeps them from growing as people and being able to make it in the world once they're out of your home. Unless we as parents want to keep them at home under lock and key until the day we die. And we all know that the time is going to come when it's time for our little birds to fly the nest. And it is our job as parents to make sure that our little birds can fly straight and free when that time comes. We need to teach them what they need to fly and then push them out of the nest. Let them fall when we're still in a position to be able to help them. Because one day, either we'll be gone or they'll be in a spot where we're unable to help. And we need to make sure that they have all the skills necessary to survive when that time comes. And some of those skills can only be learned by stumbling along the way. Now is Little Man's turn to stumble and learn a lesson or two.